Harper Collins - They know good words what are wroted

As has been pointed out in the comments section of this Blog, the mugs that have agreed to publish Anya's book (about her quest to get a book published) seem to have a poor grasp of the English language. A page on their site dedicated to the upcoming author has the following passage. So, what will the book be about? Well, no one just ends up living in a car in a laneway, every story has its backstory, and this book ill tell mine about my life growing up, and the parallels with now. Because I have had many privileges along the way, lived a life very different to the one here in the laneway but sometimes, looking back, it feels like I have been homeless always. Is that good English? Is that the standard that we can expect from the epic? I think we can garner a clue from the fact that they also have Jade Goody on their books. Looks like a match made in Heaven.

Wanderingscribe - Abridged

For those of you who are discovering this blog (and related ones) and wandering what all the fuss is about, there can be an awful lot of waffle to read. In fact, the main selling point about wanderingscribes blog is the sheer amount of waffle that one has to wade through. I therefore present an abridged version of her blog. Bear in mind that there were some posts that contained absolutely no news at all. Just 100% waffle. Wanderingscribe Abridged May 31 - Got a Bedsit. Made Beans on Toast. May 26 - Waffle May 22 - Looking for a place to live. Did an interview. May 17 - Got a book deal. May 15 - Waffle May 13 - Waffle May 10 - Waffle May 07 - Been to some meetings May 06 - Took down PayPal button. Switched comments to moderated. Got an agent. May 03 - Waffle April 29 - Waffle April 28 - Waffle April 27 - Read some emails. April 25 - Read lots of comments on the blog. April 22 - Did some washing. Had a shower and a cup of tea. April 20 - Waffle April 15 - Went to church. Saw an old friend. Thought about getting therapy. April 11 - Waffle April 10 - Nearly asked for a job in a fairground. But didn’t. April 08 - Did some ironing in the hospital April 06 - Waffle April 05 - Visited a library. April 03 - Added the PayPal button. April 02 - Added NYT audio link to blog April 01 - Waffle It's riveting stuff. I can understand why publishers were fighting over the rights. More details as they happen .........

BBC Bias

The latest advert for Wanderingscribe appeared on the BBC site today and, after reading it, appears to have been written by one of Anya's fans. Or someone in the employ of her agent. One would expect a certain standard from the BBC and yet, sentences such as; "Even if the book becomes a top 10 chart topper, for a hardback that can mean only selling five hundred copies a week - while the Wandering Scribe blog has averaged 11,000 readers per week since March." do not make grammatical sense. In fact, the whole article sings the praises of "the nations favourite" with no mention at all of the growing number of detractors. (hardly balanced reporting there then). New visitors to her blog (and the BBC article kindly provided a link) will get the sugary sweet version of events via her comments as all the doubters posts have been wiped clean. The (unverified) visitor figures also add to the hype that is taking place to promote the author and her blog. You can't buy publicity like that. Unless you have; 1. An angle. 2. An agent. Yup, she's got them alright. I think a place to live, a job etc. were well down the checklist. Seems like that internet self promotion blog was a good idea after all. Using the internet to promote artists surruptiously has been going on for years with an article in The Guardian detailing the latest scam to be uncovered concerning Sandi Thom. I say the latest because, as of yet, nobody (who can bring the story to a wider audience) has made the link between Anya's blog and her ruthless desire to get a book deal no matter what. Perhaps Anya will even be getting angry at herself. Why? I hear you ask (I have excellent hearing). Here's a snippet from her entry of 9th Feb. I thought about the Observer article I had read about DM, and his being a poster boy for some kind of media-created movement. And the more I thought, the more it seemed likely that this person, whose number one dream in life had probably not always been to be a writer, and who was also not technically homeless as such, might actually be getting a book deal out of this, the more angry I became. Uhuh .... we know how you feel Anya........

Has WS already reached "Michael Jackson" status?

As regular readers will be aware, the latest batch of sugary sweet glowing praise type comments has appeared on the WS site. But with all comments being moderated, the timing is even more suspicious than usual. Added on a Bank Holiday Monday when all Library's are definitely closed (for the benefit of my international readers, a Bank Holiday is a public holiday when most of jolly Old England shuts down), it would suggest that WS no longer relies on public internet access to maintain her blog. Has her agent found her a place to live at last? Has our heroine succumbed to peer pressure and spent her paypal windfall on a place to rest her weary head? Naturally she'll keep her fans informed. Maybe a few months after the event though, as it would spoil a good story. Who'd want to read the blog of a homeless woman who wasn't homeless? Thatwould make her ....errr... nothing special really. Shhhh.. I'd love to tell you more but I'm afraid I can't just yet. The fairies that dance with the angels around my car in the moonlight told me not to..... :)

What's the book about?

Yet another anonymous comment posted on the WS site has put forward a suggestion for the forthcoming epic. "Rosemary" writes; Hey WS, Just a thought but couldn't your book be a whole bunch of blogger entries? Just like you've written here but started long before you actually wrote them down on blogger? XOXO Rosemary What did she think it was going to be about?????? Needlepoint in the 18th Century? Surely the book wouldn't be about her experiences in trying to get a book deal, errrrr... I mean living rough in a car, would it? After all, the blog was written purely for personal reasons. Which is why she advertised it on writers forums. And the BBC. And the New York Times. And got one of her cronies to nominate her blog for a publishing award. Yup, deep personal reasons .......... Should this future classic ever reach the stage of being printed then some advice from one of her fans who is already a published author paints a realistic picture of events to come. Debi Alpers website details the likely timeline for aspiring authors and states that it would probably take 3 or 4 books before an author starts to become recognised (I mean by the literary world, not down the local launderette). I can see this being a dilemna for WS. Let's imagine that book 1 is indeed about her experiences so fancifully described on her blog. What would book 2 be about then? Surely she can't become homeless again? Perhaps she'll follow book 1 up with a volume detailing all the nice letters of praise she gets for publishing her book (because as we know, nobody ever ever writes anything nasty on her comments section). So then we'd come to book 3. Hmmmm... Gonna struggle with this one. Howsabout a blog inspired book about her struggle to be recognised as a serious writer who pulled herself up from the gutter of the laneways of England despite terrific odds and numerous nay sayers? Whoops. Can't do that one cus it will be acknowledging that there were some who had doubts etc. Blimey, this book writing malarkey may prove trickier than she first thought. I wonder if Debi Alper would advise spending the advance fee for her book deal on a camper van. Just in case ............

Angels? Or men in white coats?

The latest post from Wanderingscribe is, for me, a revelation. The author is obviously taking note of the articles and comments on this and other sites and realises that "the jig is up". Why else would they reuse "laneways" a number of times (a quirk mentioned numerous times in comments as not being a normal phrase) and waffle about angels etc? Quite what any book publisher would make of the mental state of someone indulging in such erratic behaviour is beyond comprehension. But it matters not. Because, and I find myself repeating this with frightening regularity, surely even her most ardent fans must be thinking to themselves "she's lost the plot !" The posts are now almost becoming an over the top parody of themselves. Is she destined to disappear inside her own 6th form angst riddled poetry? Or will the curtain be pulled back to reveal the truth?

The Unknown Phenomenon

I was doing a bit of wandering myself today around the fair city of Cardiff and stopped for a bit of Welsh Bread and a cup of char in a local café. Being a friendly sort, I started a conversation with a chap on the next table, eager to gain the views of the ordinary man on the street about the literary phenomenon known as Wanderingscribe. Imagine my disbelief when he said "Who?" Obviously he must have just been rescued after some obscure pit cave in and had spent the previous 4 months underground. However..... I asked another person in Waterstones about the forthcoming epic novel by WS and she also said "Who?" How is it possible that there are people in the world who have been deprived of the words of wisdom that fall like manna from heaven onto our PC screens courtesy of WS? So off I went to check on the posts and comments on her site and I made a startling discovery. Not including anonymous posts (cus I suspect quite a few have been made by WS herself to "boost the figures"), no more than approx. 40 people have heard of Wanderingscribe. In the World !! The facts (as usual) are there for you to check out if you so desire. Looks like those Book Sales may not quite reach the dizzy heights of triple figures for quite a while yet. At least she’ll have a baby named after her though, according to her latest ardent fan (See Below) But I suspect that Dark Forces are at work here in an attempt to see just how wacky and zany a post they can get past the eagle eye of the moderator in the name of false praise. Do you believe it? Really and truly? If so then I have some Snake Oil going cheap ……….. Wanderingscribe's Tribute Baby A comment posted on 25th May is worthy of a mention here (before she "susses" it and/or it gets deleted). R & C said... Scribe, We have decided to call our unborn daughter Anya Scribe-Jones. She's due in 2 weeks time. Bless you and your lovely blog. Rory & Claire Jones PS Theres always a welcome in Bristol for you. Priceless. :) I almost expected it to be signed "John and Jane Doe".

Crank up the PR Machine

Before Anya engaged an agent (which happened just after her BBC interview was published on April 24th) she was still desperately trying to drum up interest in her blog (don't forget, it was a personal thing). Posting on The Guardian on April 6th she commented:

I think supplements in bread, for those who can't afford them and might benefit nutritionally from the addition is a good idea. There should of course be choice, so not all bread/foodstuff, so that people could vote with their feet. Personally I would use it right now, because I am in extraordinary circumstances, living in my car, on an extremely tight budget (see my blog:http:wanderingscribe.blogspot.com) and cannot afford all the supplements I might need. Posted by W. Scribe on April 6, 2006 09:31 AM.

Oh my! What an amazing touching story. What current hot topic will she think of next to comment on (with a link to her site, naturally)?

Immigration I feel sorry for Asylum Seekers but although I am homeless at least I have my car to live in. Read my amazing story on my blog at blah de blah ....

The World Cup I feel sorry for the fans who won't be able to get hotel rooms because, although I am homeless I have somewhere to stay. My Car. Read my amazing story on my blog at blah de blah ....

Special Constable Murder to appear on Crimewatch Like many Londoners, I was appalled at the recent murder of a special constable on her own doorstep. But at least she had a doorstep whereas I live in my Car. Read my amazing story on my blog at blah de blah .... As her legion of fans appear to have run out of superlatives to describe their leaders list of qualities (you forgot "God Like" folks), they have turned to emulating Anya in everything she does in the hope that they will be smiled upon and, who knows, even get a mention in the forthcoming book. Here's a post from April 27th, also on The Guardian:

When you are homeless you need to plan a life. Cities are in many ways good for homeless people. They concentrate more services and opportunities in one place. One can remain anonymous and live alternative lives. So here's to cities and the memory of those who plan them. billdyke.blogspot.com The Streets of Amsterdam inspired by wanderingscribe.blogspot.com Posted by BillDyke on April 27, 2006 06:12 PM.

Anya truly is an inspiration, even garnering a mention on Madmums.com, a site for pregnant mothers (!?!). Such a shame that she can't silence ALL her critics (like she does on the comments section of her blog). Even the BBC article which eventually gained her the recognition she sought brought forth comments such as : If all this is true, and I'm yet to be convinced, I think it's a load of self-indulgent claptrap. There is plenty of government and private help available to this person, both medical and financial. But if she chooses not to take it, spending time to set up and maintain a blog instead, and then cry about it, then good luck. You have to question this person's priorities. Come on people, assuming this person really does live in a car, this is clearly a middle class stunt by someone who probably has a Visa or Amex card in the glove box, just in case. Stuart, Ipswich It seems to me a sad indictment of our shallow, media-obsessed age that somebody like this should think it a more worthwhile use of their time and effort to write a "blog" than to try and sort themselves out by making social contacts and efforts to get housing. Bertie, Stockport I am very sceptical about this story. I think it is a media stunt. Very clever, but not clever enough. Kathryne, Berkshire Perhaps her agent will get those comments deleted from the BBC site too. After all, we can't have the facts getting in the way of this heart warming story, can we ...........

Lies, Lies and damned stats

Whilst carrying out a statistical analysis of wanderingscribes site ( I know, it's dirty work but someone has to do it), yet even more revelations hove into view. February and March saw an average of 4 or 5 posts per day, even after her attempt to boost readership by making contact with a complete stranger (who just happened to be homeless and had a blog) and posting on his blog to draw the punters in. Sadly this wasn't the big draw she was hoping for and it wasn't until the interview with the BBC and the NYT that the comments rocketed. Up from an average of 8 or 9 for the first half of April to a new average of 200. Waahaay! This'll get her the celebrity status she needs ! Unfortunately, this level of interest also brought in the doubters and nay sayers. Although the number of comments had increased to what Wanderingscribe presumably thought was an acceptable level, the amount of negative comments were starting to be a bit of a PR nightmare. So the comments were switched off. However, WS decided that the people should have a voice after all and switched them back on. But with all posts being moderated first. As any post showing the slightest doubt or asking any awkward questions were not now appearing on the site, the comments post count fell dramatically to an average of 50 per blog entry. Just think about those figures for a moment. (But if you want to check 'em I'd suggest you do so fast before The Phantom Deleter makes even more editorial cutbacks to remove any shred of doubt from anyone. Ever!) This means that an average of 75% of posts were either asking awkward or pertinent questions that WS preferred to ignore or else they were doubters expressing their disbelief that the whole blog was in fact, real. Sadly, for WS at least, the highs of the circa 200 comments per blog post are now behind her for now. What is a girl to do ......... STOP THE PRESS!! Although meeting up with another blogger to spread the word of her plight didn't get the results she wanted, what did work was the interview with the press. I Don't believe it !! Today's post mentions "Have also done another interview...." What Luck !! Come on folks. Even some of her most ardent followers must be sitting there by now and thinking to themselves, "Hang on a minute...." Or is it just me ......

Did I mention my book?

Whilst the whole point of Anya's blog has been transparent for quite a few readers, she herself gave a clue right back in the very first days. An entry for February 9th mentions; "..the unfinished novel I have in a box in the boot... So of course I had dreamt in the past of getting a book published" Hmmm.. could this be the reason d'etre for the whole blog? Well, posting on a writers site to advertise her own blog would seem to back it up. And readers wouldn't just happen upon her blog by typing random names into their address bar. Perhaps a little self promotion was called for, despite her blog supposedly being "a very personal affair". Luckily fate smiles on our wannabe authoress and she finds someone else living in woods who also keeps a blog. SACRE BLEU !! What are the chances ??? Now don't forget, her blog entries are full of how she shies away from people and yet, before she has honed this feature into her blog writing to emphasise the loneliness she feels, here she is emailing complete strangers who live rough and even meeting them. "A guy called Hugh also has a blog.... I emailed him. We met and kept in contact by email and although he is not supporting homelessness issues as such, this week he allowed me to post in his blog." I've always suspected that homeless people all over the country were emailing each other all the time and now I find it's true! (21st Century Tramps, eh! Cuh !!) No mention of why she had to post on Hugh's blog when she already has one of her own though, but hey, there's no such thing as bad publicity, right? I'm sure the post on Hughs' site did Anya’s own blog no harm in the publicity stakes either. But that probably wasn't the reason for getting in touch. Oh no. Probably just wanted to swap Nettle Stinger Soup recipes or suchlike. Like homeless people do.

Sicko-Fan-Tics

Although the web is an impersonal place, many folks feel as though they have connected with someone because they have read something on their PC screen. Indeed, dating agencies, chat rooms etc. all encourage this behaviour in users. Is it so strange therefore that people should consider themselves part of a "family" because they read a blog? YES !! For Gods Sake, People, it's not real. Your family are people you share real life experiences with, not some words on a screen. The current explosion in internet access and use is bringing about a new phenomenon whereby people are losing perspective on what's real and what's in cyber space. Hence we see thousands of people logging into a memorial web site ( http://www.myspace.com/loving_memory_anna ) for some American teenager that was killed and pouring their cyber hearts out in an attempt to show that, although they never knew the girl involved, they are suffering grief. More grief than everyone else that's posted. Because that's what it's all about. Showing that you care more than everyone else does. The phrase "Mourning Sickness" sums it up quite nicely. Which leads us neatly onto the comments on the WS blog. If you suffer from diabetes then you would be best avoiding them because they contain such sickly sweet mush that your teeth crinkle just to read them, especially as WS now censors any comments that don't toe the party line. What (supposedly) adult people would read someones blog and then post comments like; "I'm glad that your beautiful mind is saved." "How great are you?...really great" "You are at the center and we are your friends visiting you in your virtual home" "Yours is a sweet soul" It's scary that these people have access to electricity, never mind the internet!! If this is a realistic cross section of society then I'm on the worng planet.

Censored Comments

In the beginning there was a blog. And WS saw the blog was good and spread the word and the fans came and said nice things. Then some people asked questions. But the fans answered on her behalf for they were believers. And then came doubters who poured scorn. And the fans answered on her behalf for they were believers. But WS saw that the questions and the points raised by the doubters were making uncomfortable reading. This was supposed to be a place of worship after all. A place where WS could highlight her plight as an unpublished author, errrr, homeless person. And so the comments were turned off. But lo! WS could no longer bask in the glowing praise of strangers from around the world. And so the comments were restored. But moderated. Not just for language but also for uncomfortable questions. And lo! the fans could once more pay homage to their new found "family" and WS could bask in the glory of her loyal subjects. No nasty language. No uncomfortable questions. Just praise. Lots of sugary sweet praise. Bizarrely, some of the earlier questions and doubts about the authenticity of the authors’ predicament have been deleted too. I'm sure it's just an administrative error.

A Book? Quel Surprise

Now that (GASP! SHOCK! WHAT A SURPRISE !!) the truth is out and WS has declared to her legions of fans confirmation that a book is to be produced, some more questions arise.

• How many authors are commisioned to write a book without any previous experience?
• How many authors actually write books and then spend many months getting their agents to submit them to publishers in the hope of them being accepted?
• What's WS's book about?

Surely it can't be about her experiences in being homeless because, after all, she clearly stated after she had engaged her agent "I didn't write it (the blog) for you and I didn't write it for the media". So that's that cleared up then. I wonder what the book will be about? I wonder which publishers have commisioned a book by an unproven author which hasn't even been written yet? I wonder if it's yet more donkey poop. (Apologies to any donkeys' reading this).

Paypal? YES PLEASE !!

Reluctantly (ooooooookay) WS was cajoled into putting a Paypal button on her blog so that people could donate money. Unfortunately, this gave even more visitors to the site reason to doubt the integrity of the author. WS herself even stated that the combined amount had become sufficient to afford a deposit and a few months rent on a place in London. At todays rates, that would surely equate to several thousand pounds at least ! This latest twist hit an unexpected snag when it was pointed out that she was actually committing fraud by not declaring it when she signed on for her benefits (we won't mention the fraud already being commited by her stating she was living at a previous address to claim benefits she was not entitled to). Once again, her sycophantic "fans" rush to her rescue and provide some "yeah but no but yeah but..." excuses, including "The PayPal donations are gifts and unsolicited - the button was placed at the request of others - and therefore not of concern to the DSS or subject to tax". Riiiiight.... As more comments are placed on the blog questioning the legality of this additional undeclared income (including links to the Reporting Benefit Fraud web site) suddenly the Paypal button disappears. Looks like she's getting some good advice from her agent at last ! Promises are made by WS to send the money back to the donators. I wonder why ...........

An Agent? Moi?

Now that WS has finally admitted that there is (apparently) a book deal, some people have been asking if she has an agent. Surprisingly, WS admited that she engaged the services of an agent "straight after the BBConline interview" which was on 24th April but strangely, her blog entries from that point until May 18th make no mention of this. Following the BBC interview, there was an upturn in the number of visitors (and comment leavers) on her site, quite a few of whom questioned the whole integrity of the situation and whether it was indeed some prelude to being exposed as a project. The very next day she posts " I haven't got publishers etc knocking on my car door". This may be true but then again there's no mention of her newly acquired agent. Indeed, she reassures her legions of adoring fans "This is how I write to myself in private. I didn't write it for you and I didn't write it for the media, I wrote it mostly for myself, and to myself. I was sorting out my own head. Uh Oh.. could someone be telling porkies? Did her agent like her flowery Mills & Boon style and was going to get her to write something in that vein or was she thinking that there could be a book about a homeless woman and her blog that has touched so many? WS reassures her fans by stating "this is my blog where I come to write about it (my situation), and this situation is really tough for me". Uhuh .... Lots of homeless people share your predicament. Next time I see one I'll ask him/her how their book project is coming along and what their agent is doing for them.

Help? No thanks

One of the most puzzling (?) aspects of the wanderingscribe blog has been the constant refusal to accept help. We're not talking about charitable handouts but good solid suggestions of where to get help to pull herself out of the supposed dilemma. The author was (so we are led to believe) too proud to accept charity as her high moral values wouldn't allow her to do so. However, she had no qualms about lying to members of the clergy for gain or falsely posing as a member of hospital staff in order to get reduced prices in a staff canteen. Any suggestions of how to gain employment suggested by readers of her blog were jumped upon by her loyal "fans" with reasons why she couldn't/shouldn't/wouldn't accept them. She didn't even have to anser herself. Was she holding out for a book deal? It's certainly telling that some of her readers who made such suggestions on her earlier blog entries are now beginning to realise that any old job or way out of the self imposed predicament was not the one she was holding out for. No sirree..... Perhaps she was inspired by the iraqi woman who recieved a nomination for an award and thought that this was what she deserved. Certainly, by the 24th April she already had engaged the services of an Agent. Only two days later, the BBC makes mention of the Iraqi womans nomination ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4847424.stm ). Yes sirree Bob. No menial job is good enough for our lass. She's holding out for a book AND an award !!

Respect my privacy

Once her blog is up and running it's time for a bit of self publicity, errr, I mean introspective examining of her feelings. So off she pops to http://trace.ntu.ac.uk/ (an online writing centre) where she posts the following in the Workshop section. Hello all, I am homeless, living in my car in the woods and don't know what to do to get out of it. Am in a rut, days reduced to survival. I started a blog last month about it ... am reaching out anonymously to a new online community. Feels like family. Wondered if anyone would be interested in reading it. Awww..... Roll up roll up, come and read my blog !! Sure sounds like she has her priorities right, eh ! Job? - Nope. House? - Nope. Blog advertised at a forum specifically for writers? - Bingo !

And so it begins .....

The initial posts in wanderingscribes blogs were concerened with the daily routine of being a homeless person. The basic necessities such as eating, sleeping, washing etc. The reason for the blog was given as wanting to make a record so that the author could try and rationalise how they were dealing with the situation and to act as a carthasis. The impression given was that it was a purely personal blog. Strange then that something so personal should be touted by the author themself on other blogging forums, asking for visitors to come and look at teh site and leave comments.. Could there be an ulterior motive?