I can hardly contain my excitement as I am now the proud winner of an Olympic Gold Medal (Lawks-a-lawdy, is there no end to my talents).Yes that's right, fans of homeless authors, I represented my country in the Olympics and won a gold for my harrowing tale of living rough in a clapped out banger in some woods down a laneway.
Competition was stiff with other contestants including some disabled kid and his courageous fight to live a normal life despite losing all his limbs in a freak accident at Disneyland (yawn) and some Nun who bravely protected some orphanage from guerrilla fighters in some African country or other (Double Yawn).
Luckily the judges could see who was the most deserving so and I am the owner of yet another accolade which only serves to highlight the terrible plight that I suffered (all those years ago now) and the book what I wrote (Did I mention that I wrote a book?).
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