The lonely Shepherdess

A few months back there was an article in some newspapers regarding a lonely shepherdess.

Lonely Emma posing with her book what she wrote.

Apparently this comely lass was roaming the lowlands of Northumberland , tending to her flock and living a solitary existence but her heart was heavy due to the lack of a handsome hunk to spend cozy nights with in front of her roaring log fire in her remote cottage.

All sounds very romantic doesn’t it?

What you may enquire does this have to do with our very own shepherdess of the Laneways?

Well hold your horses’ dear reader for I am coming to that.

I was recently curious as to what had become of this windswept heroine, out in all weathers, battling the elements to care for her flock with ne’er a loving pair of strong arms to enfold her gently yielding body as twilight descends on her tranquil cottage (am I setting the scene for ya?) so I did a little research.

Oh Ho !!

All is not as it seems.

Whilst the tabloid press and “meeja” had accentuated the “lonely shepherdess” angle, it turns out that our would be heroine had an ulterior motive to her plaintive pleading of a heart without a home in the shape of a book to plug.

Sounds familiar?

Now I know the link to our much beloved Lady of the Laneways is tenuous but it set me thinking as to how much trouble these poor dears are going to these days in order to get a book deal.

In this respect, Anya Peters should be proud of herself with her idea of promoting the “vulnerable female all alone in the wilderness” idea.

However, the actual wilderness for Anya turned out to have a very urban wrapping around it (library for warmth, hospitals for showers etc.) whereas Emma Gray (lovelorn shepherdess) actually was out there in the middle of nowhere.

Lonely Emma posing (again) with her book what she wrote.

Well, that’s what she wanted to portray anyway.

I'm a lonely shepherdess and I have a book to promote !!

But a little digging into the back story (as our yankee chums like to say) reveals that the initial newspaper articles (at least in England as opposed to Scotland) seemed to focus on the “poor heartbroken ikkle me” aspect of the story and totally ignored the “I have a book to promote” aspect.

She must have been a bit miffed at that.

Perhaps the newspaper hacks have become a bit cynical with every woman and her (sheep)dog trying to find a new angle to garner a bit of free publicity for their literary outpourings.

Or maybe they just want to sell newspapers.

Anyhoo, the lovely Emma's prayers were (apparently) answered when she was besieged with messages, letters of support and all sorts of well meaning fellows offering to share her lonely lifestyle.

Except she didn’t really want that.

All she wanted was some publicity for her book.

Oh dear.

That plan backfired a bit then.

Never mind though. There are plenty of other ways to get some meeja attention.

Oh look. I've just fell off my quad bike and ended up in hospital (well, if it's good enough for Rik Mayall and Ozzy Osbourne it's good enough for a lonely shepherdess with a book to flog!!).

Such a shame that her website isn't up to much.

Not to worry though. I'm sure "her people" will soon sort that out once the dosh starts rolling in from all her royalties.