Thursday, August 30, 2012

MUMMY !!

Greetings Anyaphiles,
As loyal readers will be aware, I've been waiting for Poundland to stock Anya's book before I splashed out my hard earned cash on a copy.
As it happens, Poundland have shown admirable taste and have not stocked it but luckily I came across a copy on t'internet and so was able to feast my eyes on the literary phenomenon of the decade (well, in Anya's eyes anyway).
Now, being the Big Man (Big Girl?) that I was, I decided to read it with an open mind.
And I managed it too for the first few pages.
Sadly the cloying stench of "poor ikkle me" brought my mental gag reflex into play and I started to speed read to avoid the interminable overuse of the word "Mummy".

394 instances of it.

As new fans of WS discover this blog I'd like to remind them that Anya did not in fact write "Abandoned" but rather prattled on at length to Andrew Crofts, a ghostwriter who churns out an inordinate number of books about any subject that people are willing to pay him for.

Andy (and I feel I can call him Andy 'cus we've swapped a few emails re: Anya) then compiles his subjects ramblings into a book which is flogged with the narrators name on it and he disappears over the horizon to work his magic on his next meaningless project.

It's probably no surprise then that Andy's brief was to highlight how terribly terribly hard done by our poor heroine was in her upbringing and subsequent adult life by tugging at our heart strings as evidenced by the overuse of the word "mummy".

Even in the present time (well, the book only goes up to when Anya was "discovered" so that's a couple of years ago) she (he?!?) uses the phrase "mummy" to exaggerate the view that Anya is a poor ikkle girl all alone in the big wide world without her "mummy".

Perhaps the most shocking aspect of the book is that the epiloge contains the URL of her blog.
Would that be so that folks can relive once gain those halcyon days of Anya's darkest moments when she dreamed of writing her own book?

Or maybe it's so that she can continue to bask in the warm rosy glow of all her fans who continue to leave sycophantic comments.
As all comments have to be authorised by The Great One herself, you'll find nothing negative on there though.

Deary me, No.

She cottoned on quite quickly to the fact that people were on to her and so now every comment has to be approved with only the most bum-licky comments gaining her seal of approval.

Still, I guess she has to fill her days somewhow now that she's no longer wandering (or indeed a scribe).

Toodles for now chums ......

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Top Blogger !!