WanderingScribe Abridged (Part 5)

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here today to catch up on what's been happening in the world of WanderingScribe since she made her millions and (possibly) fled the country as an economic refugee.

A long time ago (but not in a Galaxy far far away) I provided a public service by presenting the abridged versions of Anya's posts as they tended to be mainly waffle. 

By doing so, I enabled new readers to the phenomenon that is/was WanderingScribe to quickly get up to speed with current affairs.

On checking back over previous posts I'm ashamed to say that the last "Catch up" article I posted was way back in January 2008,  a mere 4 posts below this one.

"Shame on you, Sir!" I hear you cry.

Shame indeed for The Worlds Favourite Authoress/Homeless Car inhabitant and Kiddie Fiddle Victim must surely have clogged up Bloggers servers with a multitude of posts in the intervening 19 Months.

Incredibly she made a total of 26 posts in that period.

Sacré Bleu !!

What literary nuggets of Gold have I missed?

Let's have a quick butchers, folks.

As per usual I have grouped posts in colour by months so that you can gauge the amount of activity.

11/01/08 - Got an application form for a writing course (but we thought you were already a writer, Anya?).

13/01/08 - I saw some birds

21/01/08 - I saw some more birds.

02/02/08 - Answered Fan Emails. Thought about when I was homeless and the book I wrote (did I mention I worte a book?).

04/02/08 - Heard that someone had died.

08/02/02 - Saw some trees

17/02/08 - Went rubbernecking to the scene of a fire. Reminisced about when I was homeless and lived in a car (about which I wrote a book).

08/03/08 - Finished reading some books (one of which I had in my car when I was homeless (did I mention that?)).

16/03/08 - Saw some Swans.

18/04/08 - Thought about a bookcase and whether there'll be room for my second book on it (A second book ! YIKES !!).

03/05/08 - Saw some Butterlies.

30/07/08 - My Book (which I wrote when I was homeless and living in a car) was published in Portugal. In case anyone cared ..........

23/08/08 - Read a book. Posted a recipe. Made a plea for fans to send in recipes so she can post them on her blog. Whaaaa......?? (Perhaps the next book will be a cookbook).

31/08/08 - Looking forward to Christmas and feeling lonely. Like I was in the car when I was homeless (well, you gotta keep plugging that book, aintcha.... !).

20/12/08 - Got a fan email from Mexico regarding my book which I wrote when I was homeless and living in a car.

30/12/08 - Been on holiday to Skye.

04/03/09 - Reminisced about the time I got in touch with a psychic that my Kiddie Fiddling dad told me to. She wrote me a letter.Which was nice. Then I became homeless, lived in a car and wrote a book. Which you can now buy (did I mention that?).

04/04/09 - Put a widget on my blog. Took it off again.

09/04/09 - Waffle.

15/04/09 - Waffle.

17/04/09 - Went on a writing course (Another one Anya?). Reminisced about when I was homeless and living in my car, as you do).

29/04/09 - Saw some flowers.

14/07/09 - Posted a religious tract (has dear old Wanderingscribe finally gone loopy and found religion?).

07/08/09 - Posted a peom by someone else.

28/11/09 - Posted a poem by someone else (again).

01/01/10 - Yet another poem by someone else (all those writing courses are certainly paying off, eh Anya).

21/01/10 - Just got back from the hairdressres (Huzzah! Back to the jucy kind of stuff the fans salivate over!).

17/04/10 - I'm reading a book (How's that for a gripping cliff hanger, folks!).

05/06/10 - Posted her screensaver. No doubt her fan(s?) will be rushing to emulate her taste in religious screensavers.

And there we are chums. All up to date with the goings on of one of this country's top literary giants

• Category: Got a book deal by pretending to be homeless.
• Sub Category: Lived in a car.

Phew. I dunno about you lot but I'm emotionally drained. I mean, the raw feelings. The posting of other peoples poems. The requests for recipes. The straying into religious ramblings. Does it get any better?

I think not.

At least, not on WanderingScribes blog. :)

Hugzzz....

Anya Peters

An Olympic Hopeful

Greetings Little People,
As most of my loyal fan base will be aware, I have been conspicuously absent from my beloved blog for quite a while.
Jetting around the World spending her millions certainly takes it out of a girl.


Still, being in a pretty exclusive category of World Class female authors (I think there's only JK Rowling and me at the moment) means that we have to get used to such a hectic lifestyle.
Naturally I appreciate it more then dear ole JK ‘cus at least she had a nice warm café to sit in while she bashed out those Harry Potter books whereas I only had a spooky old car down a dark laneway (did I mention that I wrote a book?).

Anyhoo, I have just popped back to my dear old blogging ways to keep you all informed of my latest exciting venture. "Not another worthy tome of homelessness and kiddie fiddling!!" I hear you cry in moist anticipation.
Well no actually.
What actually happened is now that I am an international best selling author I bump into all sorts of Celeb’s and the other day I shared a Mocha-Locca-Choccy-Frappachino with famed Director Danny Boyle.

Naturally I assumed that he wanted to make a film of my book with me in the starring role but instead he wanted to provide an inspirational piece for the forthcoming London Olympic Opening ceremony.

His idea was for the Stadium to consist of a giant wood down which winds a dark and foreboding laneway.

Slowly the trees part (they'll actually be Polish immigrants dressed up as tree's) to reveal a battered old car parked up.

Some suitably humbling narration would accompany the scene to inform the worldwide audience of my plight.

Then, as a tease, a door would open slightly and I would relive one of the many exciting scenes that I have shared with my fans whilst living in my car.
Namely the one where I had to crack open the door and, afraid to venture into the cold unforgiving darkness, urinate from the safety of my car onto the ground nearby.
After tumultuous applause (and no doubt the odd cry of "Awww.. wasn't she incredibly brave" from the audience, I would emerge and make my way (skipping through the wood as all manner of woodland animals come to me for a comforting stroke) to a local library where I would make another exciting blog entry.
Returning to my car, the lights would then dim and a myriad of sparkling giant 3D letters and words would then sprinkle down across the stadium onto my car, providing the inspiration for me to seek my book deal and ultimately, the path to untold riches and recognition as a World Class authoress and Kiddy Fiddled Victim.
I'm getting a bit teary eyed just imagining it.


We are still at the planning stage of this worthy extravaganza but I thought I'd give all you, my loyal book buying fans, a sneak preview of what may come to pass.
Keep your fingers crossed for me .............
Anya