Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Buy My Book (Part Two)

Saints preserve us !!
Anya has deigned to post once more.
Could it be that she has taken pity on us little folks who have been worried about her ever since her book was released to an indifferent public who were distracted at the time by something shiny?
Or could she have some new words of wisdom to impart to her adoring sicko-phants, eager for the latest instalment of the life of a nobody who lives in a bedsit in London?

Alas and alack (what exactly is "a lack"?) the answer is no.
She just has some more flogging of her book to do.
This time in paperback (that'll be much more softer on the hind quarters in "The Reading Room" then, eh chums !!)

"Oh alright then", she must have thought (for I am privy to her innermost thoughts and feelings, dontcha know), "I'll bung out some old tosh on the website to justify posting again after I buggered off once the money started rolling in".

But what to write.. what to write ....
Obviously being homeless is right out the picture now (although she simply must mention it every now and then) but hey!, it's Autumn so why not write about that.

Don't forget, her most ardent fans have a limited IQ and must therefore be informed of even the most obvious events in their lives (Wipe when you've finished, Don't go out in just your underpants,.Don't stick your tongue in an electrical socket etc.)

So off we go with some old claptrap about Autumn.
And colours. Many many colours. Brown leaves, russet leaves, golden leaves, red leaves.
So many leaves (well, it is autumn after all).
And you know what those leaves reminded her of?
That's right.
Being homeless which you can read all about in her book which is just coming out in paperback form.

Gawd Blimey!
Stone the crows !!


Who'd 'ave Adam and Eve'd it !!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

nice to see you haven't lost your touch

Anonymous said...

Marvelous news. We have all missed WS. All those leaves... Simply chilling prose... Urine soaked hugs one and all..

The Pissing Elves

Anonymous said...

Its all rather unlikely. What cobblers.

Anonymous said...

Happy hugs all

Fiona said...

Can't help wondering if her writer's block has been cured by an article about her in the most recent Reader's Digest.

Anonymous said...

The only block that wanderingALL obviously doesn't have, and never did, is a writer's block!!! :)

And that you don't have to read between the lines!...Sacré Bleu!!!

Anonymous said...

Is "much more softer" proper English??...

Emjay said...

I'm reporting you to the RSPB !

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna puke! I had a dreadful daydream! ... she was sitting in a pile of leaveas ... scribbling away ... working on the next book!

ARRRRRGH it's never going to end ... stumbles off to find a spare noose :(

Anonymous said...

Well done Emjay!!

This "person" (let's be condescending, it's Christmas :)) should learn to respect birds!

Anonymous said...

The daft tart can't spell either....

"putting the peices of my life back together"

Moist licks
x

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas to all of you inside your funny head :)

A wonderful 2008...

Anonymous said...

I just hope she wasn't wearing the high-heels on top of the frost!! It is slippery! We need all the fairy god-mothers in good health :)

You shouldn't worry about calling your mom, she has never heard of Anya Peters, why would she be disappointed? :)

As long as you don't show there in high-heels...obviously...

wanderingScribe said...

Gawd bless all my faithful readers at this festive time of year (even the mentally challenged ones).

Let's not forget that Baby Jesus is looking down on all the genuinely homeless people and inspiring them all to write books.

Merry Christmas to one and all ............

Anya Peters

Anonymous said...

anya.What a heart wrenching storey,i truely feel for you.i would love to know what ya uncle got charged with,what a creep to stoop so low to you.I read your book in 2 days.couldnt put it down.Wished I could help you If i was there.XXXXX follow your heart.