trained operatives from Wanderingego Towers to investigate.They came back with some disturbing news.
Firstly some transcripts of meetings to decide the books cover were uncovered.
HC Bigwig: "What shall we do about this Anya Peters misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Why don't we put a picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"Excellent idea, Jenkins. Now then, what shall we do about this Stuart Howarth misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Why don't we put a picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"Another excellent idea, Jenkins. And what about this Terry Maguire misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Ummmm... a different picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"My God Jenkins. You're on fire today !!"
Hmm... Clearly, the book has beeen subjected to the same exacting rigourous standards in deciding the
book art and title. And then it came to me.Of course !!
The Title !!
I mean, would you be attracted to a book that hinted at being dumped like a shopping trolley on a dark and stormy supermarket car park?
Especially when you could pick from a more provocative title that hinted at dark and dastardly doings?
I suppose Anya is also suffering from bad timing in that there is already an abandoned little girl who's grabbing all the headlines at the moment and so the public would much rather read about boys to create a bit of balance.
30 comments:
The title is the problem. They did get the cover art right: a picture of a sad child, and the title in big cursive letters. But "Abandoned" is a crap title, as you point out. The best-sellers have "mummy" or "daddy" in their titles, and are a phrase as spoken by the sad child. The sad child on the cover needs to speak to the potential buyer.
Let's rename the book that Anya wrote (not) to this:
"Please mummy, can I have a pony?"
Dear all,
Thank you for your interest in my book and for submitting your e-mail address for more information about it. Unfortunately there was a technical problem in sending out the promised updates during the year and these didn't get sent out. Huge apologies for that.
As you can probably imagine the book was all-consuming for more than half a year and incredibly tough to write. It was an emotional rollercoaster the whole way, which I began to think would never end. It is finished now, and after what turned out to be quite a long break, I am now setting about facing life again and rebuilding. In many ways I feel stronger and more positive than I have ever done, but I know there is a way to go. The book is called Abandoned and if you are interested it is available in bookshops and at Amazon UK.
It is still surreal seeing myself in bookshops. It doesn't feel right to say I hope you enjoy reading it, but I hope you get something out of it. At least, if you have been following my blog, you'll understand better how someone like me ended up living in her car in the woods rather than going and getting help. I'm sure some of you will let me know...
Thank you.
Very best wishes
Anya x
The "Hard Sell" continues .....
Does this woman have no shame?
Shameless Hugsssss..............
Anya Peters
p.s. Don't forget to BUY my book to give me more cash!!
i have read your book and it really touched me. Its a cruel world out there and some poor peoploe suffer. Sadly you was one of them. I wouldn't wish what you or others like you went through on anyone.your book and many like it have really made me cry and I think the cruel men or women who do this should be put away for life for it............I am glad you are getting out of it and coming back to the world tho depression can be a bad thing but you can't let it grind you down. fight fight fight. and i'm sure one day you will get a job and be back on your feet again. i have every hope in you. Take care hun god bless you xx
'm touched.
Oh wait.
That would be you !!
You couldn't make this stuff up, could ya !
Hugsssss.................
Anya Peters, Author of the best selling book, "My Life as a Shopping Trolley."
peoploe?
The chart Harper Collins refer to is the Sunday Times one, the most widely accepted bestseller chart. The data is supplied by Nielsen with sales figures from across all retail outlets. Abandoned was number 8 last week, number 3 the previous week and number 4 the week before that.
There's one born, as opposed to being drowned every minute. That's just wrong.
Just checked my Sunday Times from yesterday. Anya is there at number eight.
Ooooohhh.. Get you with your Sunday Times!!
;)
Must be showing my common roots then.
Time to visit the hairdressers again ......
Mousey Brown Hugsssss..........
Anya Peters
Apparently Madelane Mc Cann has been spotted reading a copy of this summer's blockbuster....
I’ve been away – cycling in my mind…I still can’t believe I’m just a character in a book. It feels so real…Has this all been just a dream? Will I ever wake up? I hope this guilt will go away, for deceiving all those good people out there. My mind feels like jelly…that kind that glows in the dark. With so many people doubting that I am real I’m beginning to wonder…
I understand you so well...but I never received any emails calling me ...errr...well those names they call you!
To be or not to be-that is the question
It must be a schock having a book published and nobody knowing about it!!! No one will ask Anya for autographs...Because no one knows who Anya is!!
On the contrary the poor child from the cover of the book is now really annoyed because everybody is asking her if she was abandoned!!
Some children recognised her from the books' cover...She'll be able to use the money she earned from the crying pictures to attend therapy sessions, I'm sure....
I'm not convinced that kid on the cover isn't Madeline.
Could it have been a portent of things to come?
Oh how could we have been so blind to the facts staring us in the face !!!!!
Somepody inform Kate and Gerry McCash so they can have another reason to get into the papers..............
Abandoned Hugss..........
Anya McCann-Peters
Thought I was cynical until I read this. You're a complete git, but you make me laugh and laugh. Bless Anya, long may she allow you to keep making me laugh.
Thanks Mum.
Sadly it appears that Anya has lost all interest with the blog.
Perhaps until the advance cheque runs out.
Then we might get another sob story.
Or am I just being Silly ole Sally Cynical again ......
Hugness Abounds .........
Bicycling Anya Peters
In case your mum ran into this site of yours I think she would get slightly worried....
Slightly.......
Me too.
She's been dead for several years !!
Anya McMourning-Peters
I just saw her walking the dog!...and it wasn't a walk in the clouds...
You're such a liar......
Really?
So she did a "Lord Lucan" after all !!!!
I must be due loads of dosh in back pocket money.
I might use it to publish my own book.
Or I could just pretend to be a homeless waster and go down that route.......
Great big dollops of hugness....
Peter Anyas
Now that Anya has hit the road leaving you behind without a simple thanks after all the publicity you dedicated to her during a whole year, I know you must feel depressed and sad. But I may be in a position of saying I just found the solution for your case. Take a look, open up.
here for you
How kind.
I especially like the saucy into on how to use it.
"Once in the privacy of your home, or other comfortable location, the soft and huggable companion can be accessed any time you need it."
Now does that sound like that little blue minx is gagging for it or what !?!
Unless that's just me .......
Kinky blue buddy hugssssss
Anya Solipsistic-Peters
By the way, Miss Hobo Feet (in her own words!! Post from 14 February ”Hobo feet. I try to curl my toes under and hurry out before she can ask any more questions”.) has become a sort of British Ambassador…
She is famous in Chile where they now think Britain is a country of homeless people!... And her last post is to share this with the world besides the fact that she’s expecting people to laugh at a homeless woman picture!!! Probably she’ll get some reward from the queen herself!...
We just keep exporting those national treasures.
First Norman Wisdom to Albania and now Anya to Chile.
That'd be worth having a collection for the air fare though, after all, I should imagine that the advance fee is almost gone and with no hope of another book on the horizon (cus this one hardly set the world on fire) what is our heroine to do?
Perhaps a world tour. Living in cars in different countries ......
Here's hoping ......
Toodley Doodley doo.......
Anya Peters
iv read abandoned and it soo sad i dont no how anyone could do that to a littal gail its gost gross!! but its a good book and now all my m8s have balt it to because thay what to read it to.
good luck anya xxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
p.s i like the tiltal ok it colt my eye and i liket it ok and so did my m8s
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Anya,I was wondering how you feel when people put negative comments on here,after all you have been through they should show some compassion.I so feel for you and big huggs and warm love.what a thing to go through,Have you thought of moving to warm newzealand or australia to start your life over again?Hope u finnish the sequel to how life is now for you.hold your head high you are worth more.
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