Security Alert !!
Britain was in a high state of alert today as security forces gained reliable intelligence that Anya Peters was thinking of leaving the country to promote her forthcoming book "Abandoned - The True Story of a Little Girl who made a Fortune from a Blog".
In order to reduce the potential panic that may have ensued, they made up some story about terrorists trying to blow up planes as a cover for the massive security operation that swung into effect to stop anybody outside the UK experiencing the drivel that has become Anya's trademark.
A spokesman for the National Intelligence Taskforce for Wanderingscribe Incidence of Travelling Suppression (NITWITS) commented "It just wouldn't be fair for other countries to suffer how the great people of the UK have at the hands of this assassin of the English Language". He continued "Although we have highly experienced teams searching the southern counties for all instances of jutting out kitchens, we cannot take a chance that she'll manage to slip out of the country before we manage to track her down, hence this security operation".
US officials expressed concern that an anagram of Anya Peters is “A Neater Spy”, an anagram of Wanderingscribe is "Inbred Car Swine" and that Anya is known to have links with a Middle Eastern country (she once stored figs in the boot of her car).
The FBI immediately raised their country’s Alert Level to “Cacking Pants”, one level below “Holy Shit!”.
11 comments:
So nice to hear the truth behind the headlines.
Keep up your vigilance, Wanderingscribe Man !!
Actually I think the Wanderingscribe "phenomenon" is over. Nothing new on Anya's blog, which became so boring and tedious with its jutting out kitchens and cheery Cockneys that I doubt anyone cares anymore. I imagine the book, assuming it happens, will be pretty much a flop.
I guess Harper Collins made a marketing cock-up.
Thge public are very fickle though.
Although the recent case of the "Sex Blogger", Zoe Margolis, getting her book published must have taken the wind out of Anya's sails a little as she no longer has that "hook" of being the first blogger to get a book deal as a result of her blog to rely on.
Of course, the sex blogger book was an extension of the authors online posts whereas Anya's blog about being homeless was made up bollocks that had no basis in truth, hence pushing the "misery memoir" angle about being abused yadda yadda yadda.
In other words, bugger all to do with what the blog was about in the first place.
So why bother giving her a book deal?
Her writing skill?
Forgive me a slight smile at this point....
The lack of any updates on Anya's blog certainly seems to indicate that something is amis down the laneway.
Could it be that someone at Harper Collins has come to their senses?
OMG!!!! I had no clue of this fact behind the headline..
..Me
That's why we're here ma'am.
To protect and Serve, to educate and entertain.
Big entertaining secure hugssss......
Wanderingscribe
you are a dike. stop crying about shit and get a job.
just so you know, Anya, that's not me, it's my friend. the last thing i need is you fucking with me any more. we're done, kay?
A Dike?
An artificial earthen wall, constructed as a defence or as a boundary against the sea?
Kay?
Who's Kay?
I think someone has been at their mother’s drinks cabinet and are trying to show how clever they are on the internet.
If there's one thing I have learned, it's that there is always someone more clever, devious, knowledgeable and with more persistence and dogged determination etc. than you yourself possess.
All we are doing here is spreading the word.
If you don't like it then please feel free to not drop by but if you do drop in, please refrain from poopy mouth.
It's not big and it's not clever.
Hugsss.......
Anya Peters
It's not just a lack of updates on the blog, although that is pretty telling, because if Harper C were doing their job properly they would certainly be having updates so we can learn about the progress of the book, the jutting out kitchen and how much of a hard and distressing time poor Anya is having writing whilst readjusting to life bleat bleat bleat.
It's also the fact that Harper C can't be arsed to update their wandering scribe page on their own site with more teasers about how brave Anya is and how we should be watching this space for updates.
I guess it was an experiment that has been abandoned and they are hoping everyone forgets; I wouldn't be surprised if the blog is taken down at some point.
Don't say that !!
What about the millions, errrrr, thousands, errrrr.. hundreds, errrr... couple of fans who will miss her.
As Harper Collins have lashed out something like 20 grand in the advance fee then they'll be expecting something for their dosh.
Sadly (or happily) they'll only get a load of worthless drivel.
We told 'em but would they listen .......
Big caring hugs .....
Anya Peters
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