Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Dickie birds in the rain

I looked out tthe window today.

It was raining.
I saw some dickie birds.

I might look out the window again tomorrow.

And write in my blog about it.

Cus the public are enthraled by my lifestyle.


They tell me so in the comments section.

Which is nice .......

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Wanderingscribe Abridged (4)

As Anya has once again found herself at a loss for things to do and hence has returned to blogging to boost sales of her book, new readers may be wondering what all the fuss is about.
If someone brought you the book for Krimbo (and why would anyone think a depressing tale of child abuse and homelessness would make a spiffing present at Christmas?) and you discovered her site, you may baulk at the daunting task of reading through the blog.
Fear not Citizen because, as a public service, I have been taking notes and regularly present an abridged version so that folks can get up to speed in a jiffy.
Here in a special New Years Day Edition is the complete Wanderingscribe Blog, abridged for your convenience.
The posts have been grouped in colour by months so that you can gauge the amount of activity per month at a glance.
01/04/06 – Waffle
02/04/06 - Added NYT audio link to blog
03/04/06 - Added the PayPal button.
05/04/06 - Visited a library.
06/04/06 - Waffle
08/04/06 - Did some ironing in the hospital
10/04/06 - Nearly asked for a job in a fairground. But didn’t.
11/04/06 - Waffle
15/04/06 - Went to church. Saw an old friend. Thought about getting therapy.
20/04/06 - Waffle
22/04/06 - Did some washing. Had a shower and a cup of tea.
25/04/06 - Read lots of comments on the blog.
27/04/06 - Read some emails.
28/04/06 - Waffle
29/04/06 - Waffle
03/05/06 - Waffle
06/05/06 - Took down PayPal button. Switched comments to moderated. Got an agent.
07/05/06 - Been to some meetings
10/05/06 - Waffle
13/05/06 - Waffle
15/05/06 - Waffle
17/05/06 - Got a book deal.
22/05/06 - Looking for a place to live. Did an interview.
26/05/06 - Waffle
31/05/06 - Got a Bedsit. Made Beans on Toast.
09/06/06 - My neck hurts
25/06/06 - Turned off all comments completely.
26/06/06 - Unpacked. Ate some melon. Opened and closed a desk drawer a few times (seriously!!)
03/07/06 - Reminisced about when I was homeless and it was hot.
17/07/06 - Car broke down
17/08/06 - Waffle
26/08/06 - Been on holiday to Ireland
September - No posts
21/10/06 - Reminisced about when I was homeless and I slept in a car.
21/11/06 - Finished the book.
27/11/06 - Reminisced about when I was homeless and hungry.
24/12/06 - Bought presents and cards for friends (?)
15/01/07 - Reminisced about being homeless. Looking for a job.
21/01/07 - Got a cold. Had some Lemsip.
11/02/07 - Thought about my book.
March - No Posts
21/04/07 - Collected some stuff I had in storage (?).Reminisced about being homeless
30/04/07 - Saw my book in a bookstore.
01/05/07 - My book is out today.
08/05/07 - Radio interview to promote my book.
17/05/07 - Reminisced about being homeless.
27/05/07 - My book is in the charts.
18/06/07 - Went for a ride on a bicycle.
11/07/07 - Got sent a picture of a homeless woman.
August - No Posts
September - No Posts
07/10/07 - Here’s my paperback cover (in case you were wondering).
04/11/07 - Paperback out tomorrow. Went for a walk.
09/11/07 - Saw a fox.
20/11/07 - Saw someone buying my book. Reopened comments on blog but only approving and displaying nice ones
30/11/07 - Looking for a job. Want to write another book.
02/12/07 - Was going to go for a walk. Didn’t.
09/12/07 - Answered some emails. Reminisced about being homeless
21/12/07 - Thought about “Mummy” and kiddie fiddling Uncle.
24/12/07 - Christmas Greetings to all blog readers.
31/12/07 - Got a cold.

Riveting stuff eh !!
57 posts of pure literary errrr...... attempts.

Naturally you will be curious as to whether this is in fact a true picture of the events that transpired on her blog and you'll pop over for a quick shuftie.
Curiosity is a human trait (and one of cats too but it all ended badly for them).
But why bother?
After all, everything you read on the Internet is true, right!?!
*** Welcome to 2008 ***
© Anya Peters 2008

Monday, December 31, 2007

Yesterday’s News

As the change of pace continues to increase exponentially on this crazy planet we call home, it seems that publishers eagerness for misery memoirs is on the wane as they search for "The Next Big Thing".
With so many misery memoirs flooding the market and the non-stop barrage of reality TV shows on the box these days, it's only natural that "Reality Blogs" will also follow and news reaches my ears that the next blogging phenomenon to hit the bookshelves will be the everyday tale of a single mother scraping a living just above the breadline.

The author of
Single Mother on the Verge is the latest blogger to be offered a book deal based purely on her ability to string a couple of words into a sentence on a blog.
Whilst her writing style may best be described as basic, she does at least seem to have an idea of how a blog works.

Indeed, although the blog has only been running for three months, she appears to have already won a blogging award, hardly quel surprise there as she is billed as a freelance writer, something our very own Anya aspires to be.
At this juncture, I can see new visitors to this humble blog thinking to themselves "Hang on, she wrote a book so she must be a writer".

Allow me to point out one of many many inconsistencies in Anya's story.
Whilst Anya herself might bang on ad nauseum about her writing skills, it was actually Andrew Croft who wrote "Abandoned" after Harper Collins brought him in once they caught sight of the standard of writing that Anya was presenting to them.

But I digress ............

It must be galling to Anya to see these young whippersnappers coming up to steal her limelight.
After all, the best Anya could come up with in terms of blogging awards was a nomination in 2006.
Even this humble homage managed that feat in 2007 and I have no skills at all.
Well, there is that one with the two ping pong balls and the tin of squirty cream but it doesn't translate well onto a blog .....

No wonder Anya's looking for a job and reminiscing about the good old days when she was (allegedly) homeless and had her whole future in front of her instead of diminishing in the rear view mirror of life.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Time to Blog again

As the book sales of the worlds least known author begin to dwindle and she starts to become restless once more for all the fame and adulation she truly thinks she deserves, it transpires that not only has Anya Peters started to blog again but she has even opened up the comments facility.

Regular readers may recall that although she initially had it open to allcomers, she limited posting to registered users as more and more people became sceptical of her motives and modus operandi.
Once the nay sayers and dissenting voices became the dominant force, she closed all comments altogether.
After all, nobody wants to hear the truth, do they!

Covered up under the guise of "not enough time to answer all the fan mail due to hectic press junkets etc", the ability to add comments remained closed.
Until now.

There could only be one or two reasons for this:
1. With book sales dwindling, her advance money spent and still facing life in a poky bedsit with no prospects, she has all the time in the world to blog and bask in the glow of people still taken in by her sob story.

2. She's desperately trying to fan the flame of publicity in any way possible now that her 15 milliseconds of fame are over.

Strangely though, despite several comments being added there's not one dissenting voice to be seen.

Now, this could be due to the fact that she has to personally approve each and every comment before it appears or it could be due to the fact that the only people that go there are muppets who are new to her story.

Let's hope they discover this little "Homage" site so that they can gain an even view of the story, eh chums !!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas Everybody

Merry Christmas to all. Thank you for reading the blog and for all your support this year! Very best wishes for 2008 x

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Buy My Book (Part Two)

Saints preserve us !!
Anya has deigned to post once more.
Could it be that she has taken pity on us little folks who have been worried about her ever since her book was released to an indifferent public who were distracted at the time by something shiny?
Or could she have some new words of wisdom to impart to her adoring sicko-phants, eager for the latest instalment of the life of a nobody who lives in a bedsit in London?

Alas and alack (what exactly is "a lack"?) the answer is no.
She just has some more flogging of her book to do.
This time in paperback (that'll be much more softer on the hind quarters in "The Reading Room" then, eh chums !!)

"Oh alright then", she must have thought (for I am privy to her innermost thoughts and feelings, dontcha know), "I'll bung out some old tosh on the website to justify posting again after I buggered off once the money started rolling in".

But what to write.. what to write ....
Obviously being homeless is right out the picture now (although she simply must mention it every now and then) but hey!, it's Autumn so why not write about that.

Don't forget, her most ardent fans have a limited IQ and must therefore be informed of even the most obvious events in their lives (Wipe when you've finished, Don't go out in just your underpants,.Don't stick your tongue in an electrical socket etc.)

So off we go with some old claptrap about Autumn.
And colours. Many many colours. Brown leaves, russet leaves, golden leaves, red leaves.
So many leaves (well, it is autumn after all).
And you know what those leaves reminded her of?
That's right.
Being homeless which you can read all about in her book which is just coming out in paperback form.

Gawd Blimey!
Stone the crows !!


Who'd 'ave Adam and Eve'd it !!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Ego Surfing

My mailbox had been inundated with literally one's of emails asking why there have been no updates recently.
Well dear readers, the simple fact is that, since Anya is swaning about spending all her book advance cash, she can't be arsed to post anything.
As this blog exists merely to balance the bullshit that she posts, I myself have little to post on the subject.

Oh sure, I could go on about what muppets the Glasgow terrorists were in not checking how wide apart the security barriers are before they decided to try and drive a vehicle through them (after all, it's not brain surgery!! HANG ON, one of them WAS a brain surgeon!!) or how Kate and Gerry McCann have made nearly a million quid from their disgraceful act of leaving their 3 children in an unlocked apartment in a foreign land but that would be digressing from our raison d'etre !!
To highlight the fact that Anya Peters is a con artist with a self serving interest in getting a book published.

So once again, another month passes with no news.
Well, except for the fact that Anya has taken to ego surfing to see just how famous she is and the best she could come up with is some obscure post on a foreign newspaper website.
Ahh well, never one to miss a chance at laughing at homeless people (now that she herself is the proud renter of a London Bedsit) she merrily chuckles at the picture of a genuine homeless person on the site.

Good on ya Anya.
Show the public what you are really like......

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Why no sales?

As you know, I like to help out Anya wherever possible (advice on job seeking, lifestyle choices etc.) and so was dismayed to see that, despite the proud boasts of top ten chart positions for her book from Harper Collins, this doesn't seem to have translated into the real world. "Why ever not?" I pondered and was sorely vexed. So vexed in fact that, following a brainstorming session involving my top aides, I sent out my highly trained operatives from Wanderingego Towers to investigate.
They came back with some disturbing news.
Firstly some transcripts of meetings to decide the books cover were uncovered.


HC Bigwig: "What shall we do about this Anya Peters misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Why don't we put a picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"Excellent idea, Jenkins. Now then, what shall we do about this Stuart Howarth misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Why don't we put a picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"Another excellent idea, Jenkins. And what about this Terry Maguire misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Ummmm... a different picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"My God Jenkins. You're on fire today !!"

Hmm... Clearly, the book has beeen subjected to the same exacting rigourous standards in deciding the book art and title. And then it came to me.
Of course !!
The Title !!


I mean, would you be attracted to a book that hinted at being dumped like a shopping trolley on a dark and stormy supermarket car park?
Especially when you could pick from a more provocative title that hinted at dark and dastardly doings?

I suppose Anya is also suffering from bad timing in that there is already an abandoned little girl who's grabbing all the headlines at the moment and so the public would much rather read about boys to create a bit of balance.

Friday, June 01, 2007

This and Stats

Those of us who have been totally underwhelmed by the lack of any kind of publicity about Anya's heart wrenching book can take solace from the fact that it entered The Hardback Charts at No. 4.
Well, so they say on their own web site.

Being a stickler for the truth, I moseyed on down to the hardback charts myself to check the validity of this bold statement.

Straight away there was a fly in HarperCollins ointment.

In a similar vein to the music charts, many organisations produce their own charts, each claiming that theirs is the definitive version.
Hmmmm... Whither shall I wander to seek out the facts?

Now despite making the bold statement about Anya's chart position, HC are being a bit coy about which chart they are using.

A cynical person may even think they are using their own in-house version but let's not go there.

A quick bit of research threw up the fact that WH Smith produces their own chart regarding book sales.
Waahaayy!!
Surely they would count as a source of some gravitas, seeing as how they don't have any "in-house" authors to promote.

Anyhoo, their chart (updated 1st June 2007) shows no sign of "Abandoned".
Not at No. 4.
Not at No. 14.
Not at No. 24.
in fact, nowhere on the chart at all.

How curious.

Could the public have grown weary of the misery memoir market just as Anya's book hits the shelves?
Apparently not as at numbers 3 & 4 are a couple of misery memoirs (both published incidentally by Harper Collins - My God, they aren't half milking this corner of the market !!).

A closer inspection of the No. 3 title "Please, Daddy no" shows that it was ghost written by Anya's old mucker, Andrew Crofts.
To rub salt into Anya's wound, Harper Collins not only used the same bloke to write (sorry, I meant co-write) her book but they decided to publish it on the same day too !!

So how come there's no sign of "Abandoned" on a retailers hardback charts?
After all,
"Please, Daddy no" was released on the same day and yet that appears to be bringing in the dough for Andrew Crofts and HC.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

What's it all about, Alfie?

Let loose the pigeons !!
For she has deined to post once more. Tellingly though, with so much time on her hands and no more illusions of being a proper writer, the style and substance of Anya's posts have reverted back to a single block of text with no formatting and no style to break it up into manageable chunks. Am I being a liitle unkind, highlighting style over substance over content?

Come come, dear reader, that's all her blog has been for some considerable time.

And let's not forget the stated purpose of the blog as defined by Anya herself.
It was to act as a kind of personal diary, to come to terms with her lifestyle and how she had gotten there.

Oooooo... K.


Nothing to do at all with self promotion in search of a book deal then.


Take my hand and come with me on a small but significant journey as we review some of the most recent posts in this soul searching tale of one woman's brave struggle to tell the world of her innermost feelings ....

Thursday, May 17
....it was terrifying how easy it was to fall off the radar and into that spiral downwards, how it all happened so quickly, as you'll see if you read the book....

Tuesday, May 08
I came into London today to talk ... about my book.

Tuesday, May 01
My book is out today.

Monday, April 30
I found myself in Waterstones looking for a book. Not mine...

Saturday, April 21
The thing I've been trying to avoid thinking about is the book...

Sunday, February 11
The book is entirely out of my hands now.....

Sunday, January 21
I can't believe I've actually written a book.....

I'm glad that's all cleared up then.

The blog was a chance for Anya to open up and bare her soul to others who may find themselves in her position and was in no way an exercise in self promotion in order to advertise her book.

Stop sniggering at the back ......

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Read it and weep.....

Those of you who like a bargain will be pleased to know that after a whole 2 days on sale, Anyas fictionalised book (writen by a ghost writer) has now been reduced in price to the paltry sum of £6.99 on Amazon.

Of course, if you can't afford that hefty sum then you can always pick up a second hand copy from £6.50 from the very same site.


I'm still waiting for Poundland to get their stock in though.
Should be any day now at the rate that they are discounting it.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Blurble


At last !
The literary masterpiece is released to the public.
Such a shame that Anya didn't actually get arrested for shoplifting her own book but then again, there's no such thing as bad publicity.
Unless your name's Gary Glitter of course.

What will our intrepid blogger write about now?
After all, everything she has to say has now been said (by Andrew Crofts) so there won't be much point in continuing her blog.
If truth be told, once she'd secured the book deal, there was no more news anyway except for "teasers" about the book.

But hey!, let's not forget all the links on the right hand pane of her blog.
Let's see now.
  • There's a link to her book on Waterstones.
  • And of course, a link to her book on Amazon.
  • Then there's the two links to BBC articles that mention her.
  • Not forgetting the link to Le Monde that mentions her.

At least "The Agenda" is now clearly on view for all to see.........

Far be it from me to say "I told you so".
But ...........

Monday, April 02, 2007

Sale of the Century (2)

"From Norwich, it's the Quiz of the week, the Sale of the Century......"

And so began the introduction to the popular game show from the seventies starring Nicholas Parsons.
If you're old enough to remember the show (sadly I'm not as I was only born in 1985), you'll recall that contestants answered general knowledge questions for a pound or two per correct answer and could then "buy" prizes such as a patio set for £15 etc.

Such fantastic bargains are to be had today if you look in the right places and I'm happy to report that I have found such a deal for those of you with a hankering to flick through a fictional account of a heart wrenching story of abandoned babies, kiddie fiddling and mental breakdowns followed by a happy ending in a shared bedist in Olde London Towne.

I am referring of course to the forthcoming blockbuster co-written by the nations favourite ex-homeless person now living in rented accommodation, Wanderingscribe.
On January 22nd, I mentioned that the Recommended Retail Price (RRP) of the book was already being discounted from £12.99 to £8.57 and asked everyone to keep 'em peeled (gawd bless ya Shaw Taylor!) in case they found even cheaper copies for sale.

My thanks to several eagle eyed readers of this humble blog who took the time to email me with the news that you can now pay even less than Amazon's price if you "let your fingers do the walking" over to Brown Books where you can grab yourself a copy for £8.44.
Not too much cheaper than Amazon I must admit but if you are living on the streets and have been saving up for a year now to afford this seasons must have to display on your cardboard coffee table then every penny helps.

I'm sure the publicity machine must be gearing up now as there's only 5 weeks to go till Launch Day.
I myself awaken each day, wide eyed with anticipation as we draw closer to the momentous occasion.

To calm my nerves I have been reading up on the chances of success with publishing a book and the results are far from optimistic.
  • There are over 4,000 books published worldwide every day.
  • 70% of books never recover the advance paid for them.
  • Harper-Collins lost more than £125million in a single year just on returns (Books that did not sell and were returned to the publisher).
  • Up to 40% of all books manufactured never sell.
Phew !
I feel a bit calmer after all that research ........

Sunday, March 18, 2007

And the award for best blog about a blog goes to .....

As eagle eyed viewers will be aware, my humble foray into blogging has been nominated for an award in the New Media Awards run by New Statesman.

This is the very same awards scheme that Anya herself was so proud about being nominated for last year (which is sooooo last year!).
My thanks to the peeps who took the time to nominate this blog and to all of you who go there and leave messages of support.
There's a certain feeling of irony that this blog about one of last years nominated blogs is now a nominee itself.

Naturally I won't win.

Other blogs nominated so far include far worthier causes where people are trying to promote awareness of issues that affect many lives, usually in a bad way.
All this blog is trying to do is raise awareness of one persons self promotion scheme that suckered in feeble minded sheep who don't have the ability to think for themselves.

I try.
Lord knows I try.
I try by pointing out the obvious discrepancies and faults in logic that ws posts and attempting to do so in a humorous and entertaining way (after all, we all need a chuckle throughout the day) but I guess some people just want to believe any old tosh.

After all, they read it on t'internet so it must be true, right!

So good luck to the other nominated blogs and web sites in the 2007 New Media Awards.

Ones such as:

"Save The Ribble"
You could do your bit by popping down and collecting jam jars full of it and storing them in your garden shed for generations to come to enjoy.

"Headliners"
A group who want to bring back the art of placing a pudding bowl on your head as a guide for hair cuts (I think).

"Intelligent Giving"
Obviously anyone who bunged some dosh at Anya's Paypal account won't understand this concept.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

How many noughts?

In the interests of investigate journalism (just call me "Scoop Peters"), I have been regularly monitoring the World Wide Intrawebnet for news of our beloved flim flam femme fatale and am sorry to report that I missed an article that was published in June 2006 concerning the Worlds greatest author since old Bill Shakespeare thought to himself "I know, I'll knock up a play for a larf!".

Not only was I most remiss in missing this gem, but it highlights just how bloody blimey popular she became in a matter of mere weeks.
Cast your mind back to the
infamous BBC article where they first mentioned the oft recurring figure of 200,000 hits.
Now the more eagle eyed amongst you may pick up that this was the number of hits that the BBC site itself
received regarding the Anya story but Anya sicko-fants seized upon this number and began reciting it as the number of readers that the Wanderingscribe site itself had.

Clearly some discrepancy there as the BBC article merely claimed that Anya's site had been recieving 11,000 hits per week (since March) but alluded that her new found popularity was due to the initial BBC article which was published on April 24th 2006.
Those of you with a keen grasp of all things mathematical may deduce that April 24th (1st BBC Article) to May 31st (2nd BBC article) equals 5 weeks @ 11,000 readers (and they said READERS, not page hits) which comes to 55,000 readers.
But lo and behold, this figure was dwarfed by another article that was published in June 2006 by
The Pavement, a magazine relating to homeless bods where they inform their avid readers that Anya's site had clocked up an amazing 2,000,000 visitors (yep, that's 2 MILLION) to her site.
Sacré Bleu !!

Of course, if we had our cynical hats on (and to be honest, they are this years fashion must have), we could take anything that
The Pavement takes with a pinch of salt.
After all, they cite that Anya's "journey to celebrity is an epic one".
Celebrity?

Say What !?!?


Later on they refer to Anya as a "‘nobody’ turned world famous ‘blogger’"
O
ooooooooooooooooooookay.

Perhaps they need to research the definitive meaning of "World Famous"

They even dazzle us with the "biggest revelation" that Wanderingscribe's real name is Any
a Peters.
Sorry lads.
She lied to you (Quel Supríse!)

Let's not be too harsh on 'em though.
After all, they do provide some solid advice on where you can get away with swigging your cans of Special Brew without getting fined in the London area so they must have the best interests of homeless folks at heart.


Hmmm.. Maybe they'd imbibed a few samples before writing the Anya article .....

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Lulu says No-no

Devoted Anya Sicko-fants may wish to take a seat before reading this article.
In a surprise move that has had literally 1's of Wanderingscribe fans gasping in disbelief, Anya's blog has been totally ignored in the 2007 shortlist for The Lulu Blooker Prize 2007.

For those who are bamboozled (isn't the English language wonderful) with the exact meaning of the word "Blook", I shall elucidate.
A Blook is a blog that has been turned into a book (it wasn't rocket science, was it) and the Lulu Blooker Prize is the world's first literary prize devoted to "blooks"-books based on blogs or other websites.

As I was recently reminded what a great success Anya has become after getting her book deal, it should have been a shoe in (isn't the American "language" dreadful) that she would be guaranteed a short list place if not the top spot in this prestigious award.

Sadly though, with blauthors (that's a blook author according to some American that made the word up (isn't the American "language" ghastly)) from around the world to compete with, Anya failed to even get a mention.

Unfortunately this means she won't be able to display one of those cute graphics advertising her blogging/blauthor prowess like the one from the New Media Awards of last year.


The one she didn't win.

She's getting quite a collection.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Kiss me, I'm Irish (and homeless)

With St Patrick's day looming large on the horizon, perhaps we may see a post from Anya going on about her Irish roots.
After all, it would be a shame to miss out on an opportunity to "big up her book" regardless of how scant the link.

I do hope she writes in character .............

Well now, oi wuz sitting here in da auld jutty out kitchen de udder day, tinking about when oi wuz homless back in da auld country.
One day oi wuz sitting under one of dem dere big sticky tings (ya know, with all dem leaves an tings on 'em) and tinking to meself "Wouldn't it be grand to have a motor car to live in" when all of a sudden, up pops a bloody leprechaun.
Well Jaysus, oi nearly shat meself but he wuz a friendly wee fella and granted me wish and gave me a clapped out auld car to keep me white pudding and shelalagh in.
Twas a grand Motor car too and oi thought to meself "Oi'm off to London to seek me fame and fortune" so off I goes and manages to foind some laneway to park in.
"Ahh Jeez this is grand " oi'm tinking "but how do I get the fame and fortune bit?"
After a while it comes to me.
"Oi'll write about me journey here and about the wee fairies that come dancing around me motor car at noight when oi've had a wee dram of the potcheen oi keep in the boot. Ahh Jaysus, oi moight even tell 'em how I talk to the trees loike that wee fella from it ain't half hot mum".

And the rest is history .......

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Another Wanderingscribe Sicko-Fant Article

Whilst it has been a little quite on the news front regarding the most brilliant author in the entire universe (only kidding folks), it appears that news of Anya Peters exploits has reached a columnist from The Independant newspaper.

One would expect a high level of journalism from such an esteemed paper and so it was that I settled down with a cappuccino (the drinkable kind, not the monkey) and a HobNob to read up on what she has been up to lately.

Sadly though, it quickly became apparent that here was an article that had been cobbled together from a press release of Harper Collins and anybody even vaguely familiar with the Anya Peters Con story could be forgiven for thinking that the "journalist" had owed someone a favour and was advertising the forthcoming book under the guise of "News".

Not very up to date news though as it turns out.

Launching into his article by "bigging up" the "surprisingly high profile in our culture of Vehicle-dwellers" (he can actually remember three, not what I'd call high profile) he then waxes lyrical from his Harper Collins Press release, mixing up a few phrases here and there and touting them as new facts

For Example:
Did you know that WS has become a bit of a small celebrity in the blogosphere over the last few weeks?
WS has had more than 200,000 readers
There is talk now of a future bestseller.
A film deal would seem to be only a matter of time.
WS has revealed her real name, Anya Peters.

Sacre Bleu !!

The Independent readers would probably be chomping at the bit to rush out and buy this forthcoming blockbuster (or "bestseller" as it's optimistically described) when faced with all these “facts” without bothering to look at some of the actual facts.

Did you know that WS has become a bit of a small celebrity in the blogosphere over the last few weeks?
Really?
What has she done in the last few weeks?
Bugger all actually.
Somehow I think that this was actually news in about April 2006 but "Hey!", you can't blame Terence Blacker for not getting off his arse and actually checking the facts out.

Not when a press release is so much easier to regurgitate for his column, after all, who’s gonna be checking …….

WS has had more than 200,000 readers
Oh dear.
The BBC article
that mentioned her story had over 200,000 hits, not her site but it's somehow spooky that this number is being bandied about again (did someone say "press release"?).
It may well be that she has had more than 200,000
hits but that does not equate to 200,000 readers.
Numbers in this instance mean nothing at all really as this very own (homage) site has had in excess of 187,000
hits.
You could break the number down into unique page hits, unique visitors vs returning visitors and pretty much mangle the stats to say what you want but this enigmatic figure of 200,000 keeps being quoted as "proof" of something.

There is talk now of a future bestseller.
Who's talking?
Her agent?, That’s her job.
The publishers? That’s their job.
The press release? That’s its job.

There's talk of my own blog being made into a future bestseller.
Where's the talk? Right here. See!
What a meaningless phrase, particularly as the pre-sale order price is already being reduced by the likes of Amazon and Waterstones.


A film deal would seem to be only a matter of time.
First I've heard of it and I pride myself on keeping up to date on all things "Wanderingscribey".
I rather suspect that this is the only original sentence added to Terence's article but if someone has actual proof of this then I'd be glad to be proven wrong.
Please note the word "proof".

WS has revealed her real name, Anya Peters.
Wrong again, Terence. This has been revealed to be her pen-name.
At this rate, journalists will be getting a bad name for not checking the most basic of facts.


It wasn't all doom and gloom however as Terence knocks out a few phrases to bring a smile to the lips of those of us who have been following Anya's con for a while.
" the prose reveals distinct signs of literary knowingness" = She's been to a library and knows what books look like.

"Wandering Scribe ....a life of scrounging and desperation" = Desperate to get a book deal

Terence ends his article by musing that "Weblogs may have a profound influence on what and how we read and write in the future."

True mate.
You should read more of them and less of the Press Releases.................

Monday, February 12, 2007

Wanderingscribe Abridged (4)

Hey Ho..... Another month and another flood of posts from the nations (Well, Harper Collins) favourite ex-homeless, ex-abused unemployed ex-blogger. It's time for the next roundup of posts which I present as a public service to those of you who can't stomach trawling through Anya's posts themselves. Although, if truth be told, (I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid at this juncture) I'm starting to think that Anya is trying to do me out of business as the abridged versions of her posts that I present every few months are now only a few words less than her actual posts. The previous Abridged versions took us up to November 27th. The epic saga continues ....... December 24th - Bought some presents. Reminisced about being homeless. January 15th - Reminisced about writing my book. Reminisced about being homeless. January 21st - Reminisced about writing my book about being homeless. Got a cold. February 11th - Reminisced about writing my book. There ya go. 3 months wrapped up in 4 posts. And mainly just adverts for the forthcoming book. Does anybody on Planet Earth still believe it's all kosher?????? Wanderinsgcribe Abridged 3 Wanderinsgcribe Abridged 2 Wanderinsgcribe Abridged