I lived in a car you know ......

I am sitting here trying to catch up with emails. Lots of them from people telling me how I saved their lives, the lives of their unborn babies, how I cured leprosy in their village, how I made water appear in the most arid deserts and how I cured cancer. All from reading my book. As I sit here in my dingy bedsit I'm always amazed at the view. Over there on the left are the great pyramids of Giza, just next to Niagara Falls. Then there's the twinkling lights of the Eiffel tower towering over the Mighty Amazon river. Sometimes I take a stroll down the Great wall of China that runs right outside my bedsit, past the Statue of Liberty at the bottom of my road, alongside the Taj Mahal and round the corner down to the local newsagents which sits under the shadow of the Colosseum. Stefan Tcholzinzki (the kindly bearded owner who reminds me of Dumbledore) always falls at my feet and gets his staff to scatter roses before me as I stroll up and down his aisles, selecting such exotic wares as half an ounce of Golden Virginia Hard Shag and a bottle of Peruvian Yaks milk before returning to my dilapidated bedsit to stare once more at my PC screen and immerse myself in the halcyon days of yesteryear. The days when I was living in a car. Did I mention that I once lived in a car? And I wrote a book which you can buy from the many many links and references I post on my blog. The self same blog where people come to leave such wonderful bum licky messages of support. Somehow life just isn't the same since I got four walls around me. Ahhhh... the good old days....... But of course you didn't come to my blog to hear about me popping out to to the shops or staring out the window at world famous landmarks that I can see (each and every one of them) from my Stained Glass Window (designed incidentally by Leonardo Da Vinci when he was staying in Hackney for a while). You came to post comments about how I have saved this entire planet by virtue of my great writing what I are wroting in mi book whot i are wroted. God bless you little people for merely dreaming to have the lifestyle that I have. For spending your hard earned welfare tokens on my book For you are the wind beneath my pants ......

Dickie birds in the rain

I looked out tthe window today.

It was raining.
I saw some dickie birds.

I might look out the window again tomorrow.

And write in my blog about it.

Cus the public are enthraled by my lifestyle.


They tell me so in the comments section.

Which is nice .......

Wanderingscribe Abridged (4)

As Anya has once again found herself at a loss for things to do and hence has returned to blogging to boost sales of her book, new readers may be wondering what all the fuss is about.

If someone brought you the book for Krimbo (and why would anyone think a depressing tale of child abuse and homelessness would make a spiffing present at Christmas?) and you discovered her site, you may baulk at the daunting task of reading through the blog.

Fear not Citizen because, as a public service, I have been taking notes and regularly present an abridged version so that folks can get up to speed in a jiffy.

Here in a special New Years Day Edition is the complete Wanderingscribe Blog, abridged for your convenience.
The posts have been grouped in colour by months so that you can gauge the amount of activity per month at a glance.

01/04/06 – Waffle
02/04/06 - Added NYT audio link to blog
03/04/06 - Added the PayPal button.
05/04/06 - Visited a library.
06/04/06 - Waffle

08/04/06 - Did some ironing in the hospital

10/04/06 - Nearly asked for a job in a fairground. But didn’t.
11/04/06 - Waffle
15/04/06 - Went to church. Saw an old friend. Thought about getting therapy.
20/04/06 - Waffle
22/04/06 - Did some washing. Had a shower and a cup of tea.
25/04/06 - Read lots of comments on the blog.
27/04/06 - Read some emails.
28/04/06 - Waffle
29/04/06 - Waffle
03/05/06 - Waffle
06/05/06 - Took down PayPal button. Switched comments to moderated. Got an agent.
07/05/06 - Been to some meetings
10/05/06 - Waffle
13/05/06 - Waffle
15/05/06 - Waffle
17/05/06 - Got a book deal.
22/05/06 - Looking for a place to live. Did an interview.
26/05/06 - Waffle
31/05/06 - Got a Bedsit. Made Beans on Toast.
09/06/06 - My neck hurts
25/06/06 - Turned off all comments completely.
26/06/06 - Unpacked. Ate some melon. Opened and closed a desk drawer a few times (seriously!!)
03/07/06 - Reminisced about when I was homeless and it was hot.

17/07/06 - Car broke down

17/08/06 - Waffle

26/08/06 - Been on holiday to Ireland

September - No posts

21/10/06 - Reminisced about when I was homeless and I slept in a car.

21/11/06 - Finished the book.

27/11/06 - Reminisced about when I was homeless and hungry.

24/12/06 - Bought presents and cards for friends (?)
15/01/07 - Reminisced about being homeless. Looking for a job.
21/01/07 - Got a cold. Had some Lemsip.
11/02/07 - Thought about my book.

March - No Posts

21/04/07 - Collected some stuff I had in storage (?).Reminisced about being homeless
30/04/07 - Saw my book in a bookstore.
01/05/07 - My book is out today.
08/05/07 - Radio interview to promote my book.
17/05/07 - Reminisced about being homeless.
27/05/07 - My book is in the charts.
18/06/07 - Went for a ride on a bicycle.
11/07/07 - Got sent a picture of a homeless woman.

August - No Posts

September - No Posts
07/10/07 - Here’s my paperback cover (in case you were wondering).
04/11/07 - Paperback out tomorrow. Went for a walk.
09/11/07 - Saw a fox.
20/11/07 - Saw someone buying my book. Reopened comments on blog but only approving and displaying nice ones
30/11/07 - Looking for a job. Want to write another book.
02/12/07 - Was going to go for a walk. Didn’t.
09/12/07 - Answered some emails. Reminisced about being homeless
21/12/07 - Thought about “Mummy” and kiddie fiddling Uncle.
24/12/07 - Christmas Greetings to all blog readers.
31/12/07 - Got a cold.

Riveting stuff eh !!

57 posts of pure literary errrr...... attempts.

Naturally you will be curious as to whether this is in fact a true picture of the events that transpired on her blog and you'll pop over for a quick shuftie.

Curiosity is a human trait (and one of cats too but it all ended badly for them).

But why bother?

After all, everything you read on the Internet is true, right!?!

*** Welcome to 2008 ***

© Anya Peters 2008