Why no sales?

As you know, I like to help out Anya wherever possible (advice on job seeking, lifestyle choices etc.) and so was dismayed to see that, despite the proud boasts of top ten chart positions for her book from Harper Collins, this doesn't seem to have translated into the real world. "Why ever not?" I pondered and was sorely vexed. So vexed in fact that, following a brainstorming session involving my top aides, I sent out my highly trained operatives from Wanderingego Towers to investigate.
They came back with some disturbing news.
Firstly some transcripts of meetings to decide the books cover were uncovered.

HC Bigwig: "What shall we do about this Anya Peters misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Why don't we put a picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"Excellent idea, Jenkins. Now then, what shall we do about this Stuart Howarth misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Why don't we put a picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"Another excellent idea, Jenkins. And what about this Terry Maguire misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Ummmm... a different picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"My God Jenkins. You're on fire today !!"

Hmm... Clearly, the book has beeen subjected to the same exacting rigourous standards in deciding the book art and title. And then it came to me.
Of course !!
The Title !!

I mean, would you be attracted to a book that hinted at being dumped like a shopping trolley on a dark and stormy supermarket car park?
Especially when you could pick from a more provocative title that hinted at dark and dastardly doings?

I suppose Anya is also suffering from bad timing in that there is already an abandoned little girl who's grabbing all the headlines at the moment and so the public would much rather read about boys to create a bit of balance.

This and Stats

Those of us who have been totally underwhelmed by the lack of any kind of publicity about Anya's heart wrenching book can take solace from the fact that it entered The Hardback Charts at No. 4.
Well, so they say on their own web site.

Being a stickler for the truth, I moseyed on down to the hardback charts myself to check the validity of this bold statement.
Straight away there was a fly in HarperCollins ointment.

In a similar vein to the music charts, many organisations produce their own charts, each claiming that theirs is the definitive version.
Hmmmm... Whither shall I wander to seek out the facts?

Now despite making the bold statement about Anya's chart position, HC are being a bit coy about which chart they are using.
A cynical person may even think they are using their own in-house version but let's not go there.

A quick bit of research threw up the fact that WH Smith produces their own chart regarding book sales.
Waahaayy!!
Surely they would count as a source of some gravitas, seeing as how they don't have any "in-house" authors to promote.

Anyhoo, their chart (updated 1st June 2007) shows no sign of "Abandoned".
Not at No. 4.
Not at No. 14.
Not at No. 24.
in fact, nowhere on the chart at all.
How curious.

Could the public have grown weary of the misery memoir market just as Anya's book hits the shelves?
Apparently not as at numbers 3 & 4 are a couple of misery memoirs (both published incidentally by Harper Collins - My God, they aren't half milking this corner of the market !!).

A closer inspection of the No. 3 title "Please, Daddy no" shows that it was ghost written by Anya's old mucker, Andrew Crofts.
To rub salt into Anya's wound, Harper Collins not only used the same bloke to write (sorry, I meant co-write) her book but they decided to publish it on the same day too !!

So how come there's no sign of "Abandoned" on a retailers hardback charts?
After all, "Please, Daddy no" was released on the same day and yet that appears to be bringing in the dough for Andrew Crofts and HC.