An Olympic Hopeful

Greetings Little People,
As most of my loyal fan base will be aware, I have been conspicuously absent from my beloved blog for quite a while.
Jetting around the World spending her millions certainly takes it out of a girl.


Still, being in a pretty exclusive category of World Class female authors (I think there's only JK Rowling and me at the moment) means that we have to get used to such a hectic lifestyle.
Naturally I appreciate it more then dear ole JK ‘cus at least she had a nice warm café to sit in while she bashed out those Harry Potter books whereas I only had a spooky old car down a dark laneway (did I mention that I wrote a book?).

Anyhoo, I have just popped back to my dear old blogging ways to keep you all informed of my latest exciting venture. "Not another worthy tome of homelessness and kiddie fiddling!!" I hear you cry in moist anticipation.
Well no actually.
What actually happened is now that I am an international best selling author I bump into all sorts of Celeb’s and the other day I shared a Mocha-Locca-Choccy-Frappachino with famed Director Danny Boyle.

Naturally I assumed that he wanted to make a film of my book with me in the starring role but instead he wanted to provide an inspirational piece for the forthcoming London Olympic Opening ceremony.

His idea was for the Stadium to consist of a giant wood down which winds a dark and foreboding laneway.

Slowly the trees part (they'll actually be Polish immigrants dressed up as tree's) to reveal a battered old car parked up.

Some suitably humbling narration would accompany the scene to inform the worldwide audience of my plight.

Then, as a tease, a door would open slightly and I would relive one of the many exciting scenes that I have shared with my fans whilst living in my car.
Namely the one where I had to crack open the door and, afraid to venture into the cold unforgiving darkness, urinate from the safety of my car onto the ground nearby.
After tumultuous applause (and no doubt the odd cry of "Awww.. wasn't she incredibly brave" from the audience, I would emerge and make my way (skipping through the wood as all manner of woodland animals come to me for a comforting stroke) to a local library where I would make another exciting blog entry.
Returning to my car, the lights would then dim and a myriad of sparkling giant 3D letters and words would then sprinkle down across the stadium onto my car, providing the inspiration for me to seek my book deal and ultimately, the path to untold riches and recognition as a World Class authoress and Kiddy Fiddled Victim.
I'm getting a bit teary eyed just imagining it.


We are still at the planning stage of this worthy extravaganza but I thought I'd give all you, my loyal book buying fans, a sneak preview of what may come to pass.
Keep your fingers crossed for me .............
Anya