WanderingScribe - The story of Anya Peters

WanderingScribe Abridged (Part 5)

2010-07-17T12:21:00.000Z

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here today to catch up on what's been happening in the world of WanderingScribe since she made her millions and (possibly) fled the country as an economic refugee.

A long time ago (but not in a Galaxy far far away) I provided a public service by presenting the abridged versions of Anya's posts as they tended to be mainly waffle.

By doing so, I enabled new readers to the phenomenon that is/was WanderingScribe to quickly get up to speed with current affairs.

On checking back over previous posts I'm ashamed to say that the last "Catch up" article I posted was way back in January 2008, a mere 4 posts below this one.

"Shame on you, Sir!" I hear you cry.

Shame indeed for The Worlds Favourite Authoress/Homeless Car inhabitant and Kiddie Fiddle Victim must surely have clogged up Bloggers servers with a multitude of posts in the intervening 19 Months.

Incredibly she made a total of 26 posts in that period.

Sacré Bleu !!

What literary nuggets of Gold have I missed?

Let's have a quick butchers, folks.

As per usual I have grouped posts in colour by months so that you can gauge the amount of activity.

11/01/08 - Got an application form for a writing course (but we thought you were already a writer, Anya?).

13/01/08 - I saw some birds

21/01/08 - I saw some more birds.

02/02/08 - Answered Fan Emails. Thought about when I was homeless and the book I wrote (did I mention I worte a book?).

04/02/08 - Heard that someone had died.

08/02/02 - Saw some trees

17/02/08 - Went rubbernecking to the scene of a fire. Reminisced about when I was homeless and lived in a car (about which I wrote a book).

08/03/08 - Finished reading some books (one of which I had in my car when I was homeless (did I mention that?)).

16/03/08 - Saw some Swans.

18/04/08 - Thought about a bookcase and whether there'll be room for my second book on it (A second book ! YIKES !!).

03/05/08 - Saw some Butterlies.

30/07/08 - My Book (which I wrote when I was homeless and living in a car) was published in Portugal. In case anyone cared ..........

23/08/08 - Read a book. Posted a recipe. Made a plea for fans to send in recipes so she can post them on her blog. Whaaaa......?? (Perhaps the next book will be a cookbook).

31/08/08 - Looking forward to Christmas and feeling lonely. Like I was in the car when I was homeless (well, you gotta keep plugging that book, aintcha.... !).

20/12/08 - Got a fan email from Mexico regarding my book which I wrote when I was homeless and living in a car.

30/12/08 - Been on holiday to Skye.

04/03/09 - Reminisced about the time I got in touch with a psychic that my Kiddie Fiddling dad told me to. She wrote me a letter.Which was nice. Then I became homeless, lived in a car and wrote a book. Which you can now buy (did I mention that?).

04/04/09 - Put a widget on my blog. Took it off again.

09/04/09 - Waffle.

15/04/09 - Waffle.

17/04/09 - Went on a writing course (Another one Anya?). Reminisced about when I was homeless and living in my car, as you do).

29/04/09 - Saw some flowers.

14/07/09 - Posted a religious tract (has dear old Wanderingscribe finally gone loopy and found religion?).

07/08/09 - Posted a peom by someone else.

28/11/09 - Posted a poem by someone else (again).

01/01/10 - Yet another poem by someone else (all those writing courses are certainly paying off, eh Anya).

21/01/10 - Just got back from the hairdressres (Huzzah! Back to the jucy kind of stuff the fans salivate over!).

17/04/10 - I'm reading a book (How's that for a gripping cliff hanger, folks!).

05/06/10 - Posted her screensaver. No doubt her fan(s?) will be rushing to emulate her taste in religious screensavers.

And there we are chums. All up to date with the goings on of one of this country's top literary giants

Category: Got a book deal by pretending to be homeless.

Sub Category: Lived in a car.

Phew. I dunno about you lot but I'm emotionally drained. I mean, the raw feelings. The posting of other peoples poems. The requests for recipes. The straying into religious ramblings. Does it get any better?

I think not.

At least, not on WanderingScribes blog. :)

Hugzzz....

Anya Peters

An Olympic Hopeful

2010-07-14T16:00:00.000Z

Greetings Little People,
As most of my loyal fan base will be aware, I have been conspicuously absent from my beloved blog for quite a while.
Jetting around the World spending her millions certainly takes it out of a girl.

Still, being in a pretty exclusive category of World Class female authors (I think there's only JK Rowling and me at the moment) means that we have to get used to such a hectic lifestyle.
Naturally I appreciate it more then dear ole JK ‘cus at least she had a nice warm café to sit in while she bashed out those Harry Potter books whereas I only had a spooky old car down a dark laneway (did I mention that I wrote a book?).

Anyhoo, I have just popped back to my dear old blogging ways to keep you all informed of my latest exciting venture. "Not another worthy tome of homelessness and kiddie fiddling!!" I hear you cry in moist anticipation.
Well no actually.
What actually happened is now that I am an international best selling author I bump into all sorts of Celeb’s and the other day I shared a Mocha-Locca-Choccy-Frappachino with famed Director Danny Boyle.

Naturally I assumed that he wanted to make a film of my book with me in the starring role but instead he wanted to provide an inspirational piece for the forthcoming London Olympic Opening ceremony.

His idea was for the Stadium to consist of a giant wood down which winds a dark and foreboding laneway.

Slowly the trees part (they'll actually be Polish immigrants dressed up as tree's) to reveal a battered old car parked up.

Some suitably humbling narration would accompany the scene to inform the worldwide audience of my plight.

Then, as a tease, a door would open slightly and I would relive one of the many exciting scenes that I have shared with my fans whilst living in my car.
Namely the one where I had to crack open the door and, afraid to venture into the cold unforgiving darkness, urinate from the safety of my car onto the ground nearby.
After tumultuous applause (and no doubt the odd cry of "Awww.. wasn't she incredibly brave" from the audience, I would emerge and make my way (skipping through the wood as all manner of woodland animals come to me for a comforting stroke) to a local library where I would make another exciting blog entry.
Returning to my car, the lights would then dim and a myriad of sparkling giant 3D letters and words would then sprinkle down across the stadium onto my car, providing the inspiration for me to seek my book deal and ultimately, the path to untold riches and recognition as a World Class authoress and Kiddy Fiddled Victim.
I'm getting a bit teary eyed just imagining it.

We are still at the planning stage of this worthy extravaganza but I thought I'd give all you, my loyal book buying fans, a sneak preview of what may come to pass.
Keep your fingers crossed for me .............
Anya

Playing Catch Up

2009-10-25T22:32:00.003Z

Hello dearest followers of Fashion, As you can see, it's been a while since I blessed your eyeballs with more of my inane ramblings but that's because I have been busy lobbying my MP to reduce carbon emmissions by campaigning for Baked Beans to be taxed as a luxury item at 200% VAT. Naturally, as sales of my best selling book (have I mentioned lately my book what I wroted all by myself about my exciting times living in a car?) have been on a bit of a slide, I have had time to think about the poor people. People like you who adore and revere me but don't have anything worth blogging about in their own humdrum lives. Such as living in a car. And you know what I decided to do for you? I've decided to write occasionally in my blog about things. Now I know you are probably already falling to your knees in gratitude but there's no need. It's my calling in life. I really do feel that the gap left by the passing of Mother Theresa (that old bint who wore a tea towel round her head) has left a spiritual gap that can only be filled by someone who has known true hardship. The kind of hardship that involves living in a car. You see where I'm going with this?

I lived in a car you know ......

2008-02-04T23:44:00.000Z

I am sitting here trying to catch up with emails. Lots of them from people telling me how I saved their lives, the lives of their unborn babies, how I cured leprosy in their village, how I made water appear in the most arid deserts and how I cured cancer. All from reading my book. As I sit here in my dingy bedsit I'm always amazed at the view. Over there on the left are the great pyramids of Giza, just next to Niagara Falls. Then there's the twinkling lights of the Eiffel tower towering over the Mighty Amazon river. Sometimes I take a stroll down the Great wall of China that runs right outside my bedsit, past the Statue of Liberty at the bottom of my road, alongside the Taj Mahal and round the corner down to the local newsagents which sits under the shadow of the Colosseum. Stefan Tcholzinzki (the kindly bearded owner who reminds me of Dumbledore) always falls at my feet and gets his staff to scatter roses before me as I stroll up and down his aisles, selecting such exotic wares as half an ounce of Golden Virginia Hard Shag and a bottle of Peruvian Yaks milk before returning to my dilapidated bedsit to stare once more at my PC screen and immerse myself in the halcyon days of yesteryear. The days when I was living in a car. Did I mention that I once lived in a car? And I wrote a book which you can buy from the many many links and references I post on my blog. The self same blog where people come to leave such wonderful bum licky messages of support. Somehow life just isn't the same since I got four walls around me. Ahhhh... the good old days....... But of course you didn't come to my blog to hear about me popping out to to the shops or staring out the window at world famous landmarks that I can see (each and every one of them) from my Stained Glass Window (designed incidentally by Leonardo Da Vinci when he was staying in Hackney for a while). You came to post comments about how I have saved this entire planet by virtue of my great writing what I are wroting in mi book whot i are wroted. God bless you little people for merely dreaming to have the lifestyle that I have. For spending your hard earned welfare tokens on my book For you are the wind beneath my pants ......

Dickie birds in the rain

2008-01-22T17:10:00.000Z

I looked out tthe window today.

It was raining.
I saw some dickie birds.

I might look out the window again tomorrow.

And write in my blog about it.

Cus the public are enthraled by my lifestyle.

They tell me so in the comments section.

Which is nice .......

Wanderingscribe Abridged (4)

2008-01-01T21:24:00.000Z

As Anya has once again found herself at a loss for things to do and hence has returned to blogging to boost sales of her book, new readers may be wondering what all the fuss is about.

If someone brought you the book for Krimbo (and why would anyone think a depressing tale of child abuse and homelessness would make a spiffing present at Christmas?) and you discovered her site, you may baulk at the daunting task of reading through the blog.

Fear not Citizen because, as a public service, I have been taking notes and regularly present an abridged version so that folks can get up to speed in a jiffy.

Here in a special New Years Day Edition is the complete Wanderingscribe Blog, abridged for your convenience.
The posts have been grouped in colour by months so that you can gauge the amount of activity per month at a glance.

01/04/06 – Waffle
02/04/06 - Added NYT audio link to blog
03/04/06 - Added the PayPal button.
05/04/06 - Visited a library.
06/04/06 - Waffle

08/04/06 - Did some ironing in the hospital

10/04/06 - Nearly asked for a job in a fairground. But didn’t.
11/04/06 - Waffle
15/04/06 - Went to church. Saw an old friend. Thought about getting therapy.
20/04/06 - Waffle
22/04/06 - Did some washing. Had a shower and a cup of tea.
25/04/06 - Read lots of comments on the blog.
27/04/06 - Read some emails.
28/04/06 - Waffle
29/04/06 - Waffle
03/05/06 - Waffle
06/05/06 - Took down PayPal button. Switched comments to moderated. Got an agent.
07/05/06 - Been to some meetings
10/05/06 - Waffle
13/05/06 - Waffle
15/05/06 - Waffle
17/05/06 - Got a book deal.
22/05/06 - Looking for a place to live. Did an interview.
26/05/06 - Waffle
31/05/06 - Got a Bedsit. Made Beans on Toast.
09/06/06 - My neck hurts
25/06/06 - Turned off all comments completely.
26/06/06 - Unpacked. Ate some melon. Opened and closed a desk drawer a few times (seriously!!)
03/07/06 - Reminisced about when I was homeless and it was hot.

17/07/06 - Car broke down

17/08/06 - Waffle

26/08/06 - Been on holiday to Ireland

September - No posts

21/10/06 - Reminisced about when I was homeless and I slept in a car.

21/11/06 - Finished the book.

27/11/06 - Reminisced about when I was homeless and hungry.

24/12/06 - Bought presents and cards for friends (?)
15/01/07 - Reminisced about being homeless. Looking for a job.
21/01/07 - Got a cold. Had some Lemsip.
11/02/07 - Thought about my book.

March - No Posts

21/04/07 - Collected some stuff I had in storage (?).Reminisced about being homeless
30/04/07 - Saw my book in a bookstore.
01/05/07 - My book is out today.
08/05/07 - Radio interview to promote my book.
17/05/07 - Reminisced about being homeless.
27/05/07 - My book is in the charts.
18/06/07 - Went for a ride on a bicycle.
11/07/07 - Got sent a picture of a homeless woman.

August - No Posts

September - No Posts
07/10/07 - Here’s my paperback cover (in case you were wondering).
04/11/07 - Paperback out tomorrow. Went for a walk.
09/11/07 - Saw a fox.
20/11/07 - Saw someone buying my book. Reopened comments on blog but only approving and displaying nice ones
30/11/07 - Looking for a job. Want to write another book.
02/12/07 - Was going to go for a walk. Didn’t.
09/12/07 - Answered some emails. Reminisced about being homeless
21/12/07 - Thought about “Mummy” and kiddie fiddling Uncle.
24/12/07 - Christmas Greetings to all blog readers.
31/12/07 - Got a cold.

Riveting stuff eh !!

57 posts of pure literary errrr...... attempts.

Naturally you will be curious as to whether this is in fact a true picture of the events that transpired on her blog and you'll pop over for a quick shuftie.

Curiosity is a human trait (and one of cats too but it all ended badly for them).

But why bother?

After all, everything you read on the Internet is true, right!?!

*** Welcome to 2008 ***

© Anya Peters 2008

Yesterday’s News

2007-12-31T14:53:00.001Z

As the change of pace continues to increase exponentially on this crazy planet we call home, it seems that publishers eagerness for misery memoirs is on the wane as they search for "The Next Big Thing".
With so many misery memoirs flooding the market and the non-stop barrage of reality TV shows on the box these days, it's only natural that "Reality Blogs" will also follow and news reaches my ears that the next blogging phenomenon to hit the bookshelves will be the everyday tale of a single mother scraping a living just above the breadline.

The author of Single Mother on the Verge is the latest blogger to be offered a book deal based purely on her ability to string a couple of words into a sentence on a blog.
Whilst her writing style may best be described as basic, she does at least seem to have an idea of how a blog works.

Indeed, although the blog has only been running for three months, she appears to have already won a blogging award, hardly quel surprise there as she is billed as a freelance writer, something our very own Anya aspires to be.
At this juncture, I can see new visitors to this humble blog thinking to themselves "Hang on, she wrote a book so she must be a writer".

Allow me to point out one of many many inconsistencies in Anya's story.
Whilst Anya herself might bang on ad nauseum about her writing skills, it was actually Andrew Croft who wrote "Abandoned" after Harper Collins brought him in once they caught sight of the standard of writing that Anya was presenting to them.

But I digress ............

It must be galling to Anya to see these young whippersnappers coming up to steal her limelight.
After all, the best Anya could come up with in terms of blogging awards was a nomination in 2006.
Even this humble homage managed that feat in 2007 and I have no skills at all.
Well, there is that one with the two ping pong balls and the tin of squirty cream but it doesn't translate well onto a blog .....

No wonder Anya's looking for a job and reminiscing about the good old days when she was (allegedly) homeless and had her whole future in front of her instead of diminishing in the rear view mirror of life.

Time to Blog again

2007-12-29T18:59:00.000Z

As the book sales of the worlds least known author begin to dwindle and she starts to become restless once more for all the fame and adulation she truly thinks she deserves, it transpires that not only has Anya Peters started to blog again but she has even opened up the comments facility.

Regular readers may recall that although she initially had it open to allcomers, she limited posting to registered users as more and more people became sceptical of her motives and modus operandi.
Once the nay sayers and dissenting voices became the dominant force, she closed all comments altogether.
After all, nobody wants to hear the truth, do they!

Covered up under the guise of "not enough time to answer all the fan mail due to hectic press junkets etc", the ability to add comments remained closed.
Until now.

There could only be one or two reasons for this:
1. With book sales dwindling, her advance money spent and still facing life in a poky bedsit with no prospects, she has all the time in the world to blog and bask in the glow of people still taken in by her sob story.

2. She's desperately trying to fan the flame of publicity in any way possible now that her 15 milliseconds of fame are over.

Strangely though, despite several comments being added there's not one dissenting voice to be seen.

Now, this could be due to the fact that she has to personally approve each and every comment before it appears or it could be due to the fact that the only people that go there are muppets who are new to her story.

Let's hope they discover this little "Homage" site so that they can gain an even view of the story, eh chums !!

Merry Christmas Everybody

2007-12-25T09:50:00.001Z

Merry Christmas to all. Thank you for reading the blog and for all your support this year! Very best wishes for 2008 x

Buy My Book (Part Two)

2007-11-13T20:55:00.001Z

Saints preserve us !!
Anya has deigned to post once more.
Could it be that she has taken pity on us little folks who have been worried about her ever since her book was released to an indifferent public who were distracted at the time by something shiny?
Or could she have some new words of wisdom to impart to her adoring sicko-phants, eager for the latest instalment of the life of a nobody who lives in a bedsit in London?

Alas and alack (what exactly is "a lack"?) the answer is no.
She just has some more flogging of her book to do.
This time in paperback (that'll be much more softer on the hind quarters in "The Reading Room" then, eh chums !!)

"Oh alright then", she must have thought (for I am privy to her innermost thoughts and feelings, dontcha know), "I'll bung out some old tosh on the website to justify posting again after I buggered off once the money started rolling in".

But what to write.. what to write ....
Obviously being homeless is right out the picture now (although she simply must mention it every now and then) but hey!, it's Autumn so why not write about that.

Don't forget, her most ardent fans have a limited IQ and must therefore be informed of even the most obvious events in their lives (Wipe when you've finished, Don't go out in just your underpants,.Don't stick your tongue in an electrical socket etc.)

So off we go with some old claptrap about Autumn.
And colours. Many many colours. Brown leaves, russet leaves, golden leaves, red leaves.
So many leaves (well, it is autumn after all).
And you know what those leaves reminded her of?
That's right.
Being homeless which you can read all about in her book which is just coming out in paperback form.

Gawd Blimey!
Stone the crows !!

Who'd 'ave Adam and Eve'd it !!

Ego Surfing

2007-07-21T21:39:00.000Z

My mailbox had been inundated with literally one's of emails asking why there have been no updates recently.
Well dear readers, the simple fact is that, since Anya is swaning about spending all her book advance cash, she can't be arsed to post anything.
As this blog exists merely to balance the bullshit that she posts, I myself have little to post on the subject.

Oh sure, I could go on about what muppets the Glasgow terrorists were in not checking how wide apart the security barriers are before they decided to try and drive a vehicle through them (after all, it's not brain surgery!! HANG ON, one of them WAS a brain surgeon!!) or how Kate and Gerry McCann have made nearly a million quid from their disgraceful act of leaving their 3 children in an unlocked apartment in a foreign land but that would be digressing from our raison d'etre !!
To highlight the fact that Anya Peters is a con artist with a self serving interest in getting a book published.

So once again, another month passes with no news.
Well, except for the fact that Anya has taken to ego surfing to see just how famous she is and the best she could come up with is some obscure post on a foreign newspaper website.
Ahh well, never one to miss a chance at laughing at homeless people (now that she herself is the proud renter of a London Bedsit) she merrily chuckles at the picture of a genuine homeless person on the site.

Good on ya Anya.
Show the public what you are really like......

Why no sales?

2007-06-03T20:41:00.000Z

As you know, I like to help out Anya wherever possible (advice on job seeking, lifestyle choices etc.) and so was dismayed to see that, despite the proud boasts of top ten chart positions for her book from Harper Collins, this doesn't seem to have translated into the real world. "Why ever not?" I pondered and was sorely vexed. So vexed in fact that, following a brainstorming session involving my top aides, I sent out my highly trained operatives from Wanderingego Towers to investigate.
They came back with some disturbing news.
Firstly some transcripts of meetings to decide the books cover were uncovered.

HC Bigwig: "What shall we do about this Anya Peters misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Why don't we put a picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"Excellent idea, Jenkins. Now then, what shall we do about this Stuart Howarth misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Why don't we put a picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"Another excellent idea, Jenkins. And what about this Terry Maguire misery memoir book?"
Jenkins: "Ummmm... a different picture of a sad kid and the book title in big letters?"
HC Bigwig:"My God Jenkins. You're on fire today !!"

Hmm... Clearly, the book has beeen subjected to the same exacting rigourous standards in deciding the book art and title. And then it came to me.
Of course !!
The Title !!

I mean, would you be attracted to a book that hinted at being dumped like a shopping trolley on a dark and stormy supermarket car park?
Especially when you could pick from a more provocative title that hinted at dark and dastardly doings?

I suppose Anya is also suffering from bad timing in that there is already an abandoned little girl who's grabbing all the headlines at the moment and so the public would much rather read about boys to create a bit of balance.

This and Stats

2007-06-01T21:04:00.000Z

Those of us who have been totally underwhelmed by the lack of any kind of publicity about Anya's heart wrenching book can take solace from the fact that it entered The Hardback Charts at No. 4.
Well, so they say on their own web site.

Being a stickler for the truth, I moseyed on down to the hardback charts myself to check the validity of this bold statement.
Straight away there was a fly in HarperCollins ointment.

In a similar vein to the music charts, many organisations produce their own charts, each claiming that theirs is the definitive version.
Hmmmm... Whither shall I wander to seek out the facts?

Now despite making the bold statement about Anya's chart position, HC are being a bit coy about which chart they are using.
A cynical person may even think they are using their own in-house version but let's not go there.

A quick bit of research threw up the fact that WH Smith produces their own chart regarding book sales.
Waahaayy!!
Surely they would count as a source of some gravitas, seeing as how they don't have any "in-house" authors to promote.

Anyhoo, their chart (updated 1st June 2007) shows no sign of "Abandoned".
Not at No. 4.
Not at No. 14.
Not at No. 24.
in fact, nowhere on the chart at all.
How curious.

Could the public have grown weary of the misery memoir market just as Anya's book hits the shelves?
Apparently not as at numbers 3 & 4 are a couple of misery memoirs (both published incidentally by Harper Collins - My God, they aren't half milking this corner of the market !!).

A closer inspection of the No. 3 title "Please, Daddy no" shows that it was ghost written by Anya's old mucker, Andrew Crofts.
To rub salt into Anya's wound, Harper Collins not only used the same bloke to write (sorry, I meant co-write) her book but they decided to publish it on the same day too !!

So how come there's no sign of "Abandoned" on a retailers hardback charts?
After all, "Please, Daddy no" was released on the same day and yet that appears to be bringing in the dough for Andrew Crofts and HC.

What's it all about, Alfie?

2007-05-17T20:57:00.000Z

Let loose the pigeons !!
For she has deined to post once more. Tellingly though, with so much time on her hands and no more illusions of being a proper writer, the style and substance of Anya's posts have reverted back to a single block of text with no formatting and no style to break it up into manageable chunks. Am I being a liitle unkind, highlighting style over substance over content?

Come come, dear reader, that's all her blog has been for some considerable time.
And let's not forget the stated purpose of the blog as defined by Anya herself. It was to act as a kind of personal diary, to come to terms with her lifestyle and how she had gotten there.

Oooooo... K.

Nothing to do at all with self promotion in search of a book deal then.

Take my hand and come with me on a small but significant journey as we review some of the most recent posts in this soul searching tale of one woman's brave struggle to tell the world of her innermost feelings ....

Thursday, May 17
....it was terrifying how easy it was to fall off the radar and into that spiral downwards, how it all happened so quickly, as you'll see if you read the book....

Tuesday, May 08
I came into London today to talk ... about my book.

Tuesday, May 01
My book is out today.

Monday, April 30
I found myself in Waterstones looking for a book. Not mine...

Saturday, April 21
The thing I've been trying to avoid thinking about is the book...

Sunday, February 11
The book is entirely out of my hands now.....

Sunday, January 21
I can't believe I've actually written a book.....

I'm glad that's all cleared up then.

The blog was a chance for Anya to open up and bare her soul to others who may find themselves in her position and was in no way an exercise in self promotion in order to advertise her book.

Stop sniggering at the back ......

Read it and weep.....

2007-05-03T20:26:00.000Z

Those of you who like a bargain will be pleased to know that after a whole 2 days on sale, Anyas fictionalised book (writen by a ghost writer) has now been reduced in price to the paltry sum of £6.99 on Amazon.

Of course, if you can't afford that hefty sum then you can always pick up a second hand copy from £6.50 from the very same site.

I'm still waiting for Poundland to get their stock in though.
Should be any day now at the rate that they are discounting it.

Blurble

2007-05-02T22:06:00.000Z

At last !
The literary masterpiece is released to the public.
Such a shame that Anya didn't actually get arrested for shoplifting her own book but then again, there's no such thing as bad publicity.
Unless your name's Gary Glitter of course.

What will our intrepid blogger write about now?
After all, everything she has to say has now been said (by Andrew Crofts) so there won't be much point in continuing her blog.
If truth be told, once she'd secured the book deal, there was no more news anyway except for "teasers" about the book.

But hey!, let's not forget all the links on the right hand pane of her blog.
Let's see now.

There's a link to her book on Waterstones.
And of course, a link to her book on Amazon.
Then there's the two links to BBC articles that mention her.
Not forgetting the link to Le Monde that mentions her.

At least "The Agenda" is now clearly on view for all to see.........

Far be it from me to say "I told you so".
But ...........

Sale of the Century (2)

2007-04-02T21:58:00.000Z

"From Norwich, it's the Quiz of the week, the Sale of the Century......"

And so began the introduction to the popular game show from the seventies starring Nicholas Parsons.
If you're old enough to remember the show (sadly I'm not as I was only born in 1985), you'll recall that contestants answered general knowledge questions for a pound or two per correct answer and could then "buy" prizes such as a patio set for £15 etc.

Such fantastic bargains are to be had today if you look in the right places and I'm happy to report that I have found such a deal for those of you with a hankering to flick through a fictional account of a heart wrenching story of abandoned babies, kiddie fiddling and mental breakdowns followed by a happy ending in a shared bedist in Olde London Towne.

I am referring of course to the forthcoming blockbuster co-written by the nations favourite ex-homeless person now living in rented accommodation, Wanderingscribe.
On January 22nd, I mentioned that the Recommended Retail Price (RRP) of the book was already being discounted from £12.99 to £8.57 and asked everyone to keep 'em peeled (gawd bless ya Shaw Taylor!) in case they found even cheaper copies for sale.

My thanks to several eagle eyed readers of this humble blog who took the time to email me with the news that you can now pay even less than Amazon's price if you "let your fingers do the walking" over to Brown Books where you can grab yourself a copy for £8.44.
Not too much cheaper than Amazon I must admit but if you are living on the streets and have been saving up for a year now to afford this seasons must have to display on your cardboard coffee table then every penny helps.

I'm sure the publicity machine must be gearing up now as there's only 5 weeks to go till Launch Day.
I myself awaken each day, wide eyed with anticipation as we draw closer to the momentous occasion.

To calm my nerves I have been reading up on the chances of success with publishing a book and the results are far from optimistic.

There are over 4,000 books published worldwide every day.
70% of books never recover the advance paid for them.
Harper-Collins lost more than £125million in a single year just on returns (Books that did not sell and were returned to the publisher).
Up to 40% of all books manufactured never sell.

Phew !
I feel a bit calmer after all that research ........

And the award for best blog about a blog goes to .....

2007-03-18T10:19:00.000Z

As eagle eyed viewers will be aware, my humble foray into blogging has been nominated for an award in the New Media Awards run by New Statesman.

This is the very same awards scheme that Anya herself was so proud about being nominated for last year (which is sooooo last year!).
My thanks to the peeps who took the time to nominate this blog and to all of you who go there and leave messages of support.
There's a certain feeling of irony that this blog about one of last years nominated blogs is now a nominee itself.

Naturally I won't win.

Other blogs nominated so far include far worthier causes where people are trying to promote awareness of issues that affect many lives, usually in a bad way.
All this blog is trying to do is raise awareness of one persons self promotion scheme that suckered in feeble minded sheep who don't have the ability to think for themselves.

I try.
Lord knows I try.
I try by pointing out the obvious discrepancies and faults in logic that ws posts and attempting to do so in a humorous and entertaining way (after all, we all need a chuckle throughout the day) but I guess some people just want to believe any old tosh.

After all, they read it on t'internet so it must be true, right!

So good luck to the other nominated blogs and web sites in the 2007 New Media Awards.

Ones such as:

"Save The Ribble"
You could do your bit by popping down and collecting jam jars full of it and storing them in your garden shed for generations to come to enjoy.

"Headliners"
A group who want to bring back the art of placing a pudding bowl on your head as a guide for hair cuts (I think).

"Intelligent Giving"
Obviously anyone who bunged some dosh at Anya's Paypal account won't understand this concept.

How many noughts?

2007-03-15T21:24:00.000Z

In the interests of investigate journalism (just call me "Scoop Peters"), I have been regularly monitoring the World Wide Intrawebnet for news of our beloved flim flam femme fatale and am sorry to report that I missed an article that was published in June 2006 concerning the Worlds greatest author since old Bill Shakespeare thought to himself "I know, I'll knock up a play for a larf!".

Not only was I most remiss in missing this gem, but it highlights just how bloody blimey popular she became in a matter of mere weeks.
Cast your mind back to the infamous BBC article where they first mentioned the oft recurring figure of 200,000 hits.
Now the more eagle eyed amongst you may pick up that this was the number of hits that the BBC site itself received regarding the Anya story but Anya sicko-fants seized upon this number and began reciting it as the number of readers that the Wanderingscribe site itself had.

Clearly some discrepancy there as the BBC article merely claimed that Anya's site had been recieving 11,000 hits per week (since March) but alluded that her new found popularity was due to the initial BBC article which was published on April 24th 2006.
Those of you with a keen grasp of all things mathematical may deduce that April 24th (1st BBC Article) to May 31st (2nd BBC article) equals 5 weeks @ 11,000 readers (and they said READERS, not page hits) which comes to 55,000 readers.
But lo and behold, this figure was dwarfed by another article that was published in June 2006 by The Pavement, a magazine relating to homeless bods where they inform their avid readers that Anya's site had clocked up an amazing 2,000,000 visitors (yep, that's 2 MILLION) to her site.
Sacré Bleu !!
Of course, if we had our cynical hats on (and to be honest, they are this years fashion must have), we could take anything that The Pavement takes with a pinch of salt.
After all, they cite that Anya's "journey to celebrity is an epic one".
Celebrity?
Say What !?!?

Later on they refer to Anya as a "‘nobody’ turned world famous ‘blogger’"
Oooooooooooooooooooookay.
Perhaps they need to research the definitive meaning of "World Famous"

They even dazzle us with the "biggest revelation" that Wanderingscribe's real name is Anya Peters.
Sorry lads.
She lied to you (Quel Supríse!)

Let's not be too harsh on 'em though.
After all, they do provide some solid advice on where you can get away with swigging your cans of Special Brew without getting fined in the London area so they must have the best interests of homeless folks at heart.

Hmmm.. Maybe they'd imbibed a few samples before writing the Anya article .....

Lulu says No-no

2007-03-14T22:19:00.000Z

Devoted Anya Sicko-fants may wish to take a seat before reading this article.
In a surprise move that has had literally 1's of Wanderingscribe fans gasping in disbelief, Anya's blog has been totally ignored in the 2007 shortlist for The Lulu Blooker Prize 2007.

For those who are bamboozled (isn't the English language wonderful) with the exact meaning of the word "Blook", I shall elucidate.
A Blook is a blog that has been turned into a book (it wasn't rocket science, was it) and the Lulu Blooker Prize is the world's first literary prize devoted to "blooks"-books based on blogs or other websites.

As I was recently reminded what a great success Anya has become after getting her book deal, it should have been a shoe in (isn't the American "language" dreadful) that she would be guaranteed a short list place if not the top spot in this prestigious award.

Sadly though, with blauthors (that's a blook author according to some American that made the word up (isn't the American "language" ghastly)) from around the world to compete with, Anya failed to even get a mention.

Unfortunately this means she won't be able to display one of those cute graphics advertising her blogging/blauthor prowess like the one from the New Media Awards of last year.

The one she didn't win.

She's getting quite a collection.

Kiss me, I'm Irish (and homeless)

2007-03-11T22:05:00.000Z

With St Patrick's day looming large on the horizon, perhaps we may see a post from Anya going on about her Irish roots.
After all, it would be a shame to miss out on an opportunity to "big up her book" regardless of how scant the link.

I do hope she writes in character .............

Well now, oi wuz sitting here in da auld jutty out kitchen de udder day, tinking about when oi wuz homless back in da auld country.
One day oi wuz sitting under one of dem dere big sticky tings (ya know, with all dem leaves an tings on 'em) and tinking to meself "Wouldn't it be grand to have a motor car to live in" when all of a sudden, up pops a bloody leprechaun.
Well Jaysus, oi nearly shat meself but he wuz a friendly wee fella and granted me wish and gave me a clapped out auld car to keep me white pudding and shelalagh in.
Twas a grand Motor car too and oi thought to meself "Oi'm off to London to seek me fame and fortune" so off I goes and manages to foind some laneway to park in.
"Ahh Jeez this is grand " oi'm tinking "but how do I get the fame and fortune bit?"
After a while it comes to me.
"Oi'll write about me journey here and about the wee fairies that come dancing around me motor car at noight when oi've had a wee dram of the potcheen oi keep in the boot. Ahh Jaysus, oi moight even tell 'em how I talk to the trees loike that wee fella from it ain't half hot mum".

And the rest is history .......

Another Wanderingscribe Sicko-Fant Article

2007-02-25T17:05:00.001Z

Whilst it has been a little quite on the news front regarding the most brilliant author in the entire universe (only kidding folks), it appears that news of Anya Peters exploits has reached a columnist from The Independant newspaper.

One would expect a high level of journalism from such an esteemed paper and so it was that I settled down with a cappuccino (the drinkable kind, not the monkey) and a HobNob to read up on what she has been up to lately.

Sadly though, it quickly became apparent that here was an article that had been cobbled together from a press release of Harper Collins and anybody even vaguely familiar with the Anya Peters Con story could be forgiven for thinking that the "journalist" had owed someone a favour and was advertising the forthcoming book under the guise of "News".

Not very up to date news though as it turns out.

Launching into his article by "bigging up" the "surprisingly high profile in our culture of Vehicle-dwellers" (he can actually remember three, not what I'd call high profile) he then waxes lyrical from his Harper Collins Press release, mixing up a few phrases here and there and touting them as new facts

For Example:
Did you know that WS has become a bit of a small celebrity in the blogosphere over the last few weeks?
WS has had more than 200,000 readers
There is talk now of a future bestseller.
A film deal would seem to be only a matter of time.
WS has revealed her real name, Anya Peters.

Sacre Bleu !!
The Independent readers would probably be chomping at the bit to rush out and buy this forthcoming blockbuster (or "bestseller" as it's optimistically described) when faced with all these “facts” without bothering to look at some of the actual facts.

Did you know that WS has become a bit of a small celebrity in the blogosphere over the last few weeks?
Really?
What has she done in the last few weeks?
Bugger all actually.
Somehow I think that this was actually news in about April 2006 but "Hey!", you can't blame Terence Blacker for not getting off his arse and actually checking the facts out.
Not when a press release is so much easier to regurgitate for his column, after all, who’s gonna be checking …….

WS has had more than 200,000 readers
Oh dear.
The BBC article that mentioned her story had over 200,000 hits, not her site but it's somehow spooky that this number is being bandied about again (did someone say "press release"?).
It may well be that she has had more than 200,000 hits but that does not equate to 200,000 readers.
Numbers in this instance mean nothing at all really as this very own (homage) site has had in excess of 187,000 hits.
You could break the number down into unique page hits, unique visitors vs returning visitors and pretty much mangle the stats to say what you want but this enigmatic figure of 200,000 keeps being quoted as "proof" of something.

There is talk now of a future bestseller.
Who's talking?
Her agent?, That’s her job.
The publishers? That’s their job.
The press release? That’s its job.

There's talk of my own blog being made into a future bestseller.
Where's the talk? Right here. See!
What a meaningless phrase, particularly as the pre-sale order price is already being reduced by the likes of Amazon and Waterstones.

A film deal would seem to be only a matter of time.
First I've heard of it and I pride myself on keeping up to date on all things "Wanderingscribey".
I rather suspect that this is the only original sentence added to Terence's article but if someone has actual proof of this then I'd be glad to be proven wrong.
Please note the word "proof".

WS has revealed her real name, Anya Peters.
Wrong again, Terence. This has been revealed to be her pen-name.
At this rate, journalists will be getting a bad name for not checking the most basic of facts.

It wasn't all doom and gloom however as Terence knocks out a few phrases to bring a smile to the lips of those of us who have been following Anya's con for a while.
" the prose reveals distinct signs of literary knowingness" = She's been to a library and knows what books look like.

"Wandering Scribe ....a life of scrounging and desperation" = Desperate to get a book deal

Terence ends his article by musing that "Weblogs may have a profound influence on what and how we read and write in the future."

True mate.
You should read more of them and less of the Press Releases.................

Valentines Day for singles

2007-02-14T07:21:00.000Z

No cards again this year?

Wanderingscribe Abridged (4)

2007-02-12T20:35:00.000Z

Hey Ho..... Another month and another flood of posts from the nations (Well, Harper Collins) favourite ex-homeless, ex-abused unemployed ex-blogger. It's time for the next roundup of posts which I present as a public service to those of you who can't stomach trawling through Anya's posts themselves. Although, if truth be told, (I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid at this juncture) I'm starting to think that Anya is trying to do me out of business as the abridged versions of her posts that I present every few months are now only a few words less than her actual posts. The previous Abridged versions took us up to November 27th. The epic saga continues ....... December 24th - Bought some presents. Reminisced about being homeless. January 15th - Reminisced about writing my book. Reminisced about being homeless. January 21st - Reminisced about writing my book about being homeless. Got a cold. February 11th - Reminisced about writing my book. There ya go. 3 months wrapped up in 4 posts. And mainly just adverts for the forthcoming book. Does anybody on Planet Earth still believe it's all kosher?????? Wanderinsgcribe Abridged 3 Wanderinsgcribe Abridged 2 Wanderinsgcribe Abridged

Yesterdays Big Thing

2007-01-24T23:18:00.000Z

I like to keep my ear close to the street to keep abreast of what's happening out there and the latest buzz is that things aren't going to well for bloggers who think they can knock out a book. An article on Librarians Place sums it up quite nicely in pointing out that the "bloggers book deal" bubble may well have already burst and that, although bloggers books were popular two years ago, sales of any books who can find their roots in blogs are now very disappointing and often fail to recover the initial advance. Perhaps Anya's agent will advise her to get into Science Fiction as a recent post on "Whatever" backs up the cold hard facts that blog writers do not make good authors unless specializing in fiction. What's that you say? She already is dealing in it ?!? The "Whatever" article even goes so far as to blame the publishers themselves for pandering to the hopes and aspirations of the would be authors in the vain hope that they can ride the crest of the "bloggers write good books" wave. Lord knows what would happen if a desperate person, down on their luck and who harboured aspirations of being an author was approached by an agent claiming to be able to get them a book deal (who would naturally get a percentage of any advance fee) based on the premise that "misery memoirs" were big at the moment. It just doesn't bear thinking about, does it folks .........

Sale of the Century

2007-01-22T23:15:00.000Z

With only 4 months to go until the few remaining Anya Sicko-fants left in the world can get their mitts on the greatest tome to be published since Janet and John, there's some good news on the horizon. The official publishers price of £12.99 is already being discounted by the likes of Amazon who, possibly in anticipation of being left with the whole boxful that they must have ordered on their shelves, have slashed the price by nearly £4.50 to a cheap and cheerful £8.57 !! Do yourselves a favour folks and never pay the full retail price. Some regular readers may wonder why I am advertising Anyas book for her. Fear not, I haven't gone over to the dark side but I do so out of a sense of justice. After all, the whole point of my cheery little blog is to provide balance and I'm not "Mean ole Miss Negativity" all the time. If you find instances of her book being sold even cheaper then please let me know. We all love a bargain, eh folks !!

Fact or Fiction?

2007-01-17T19:16:00.000Z

The latest link on Anyas site is to yet another advert for her book, this time on the Waterstones site. However, eagle eyed viewers may notice a small but important difference between the details advertised on the Harper Collins site and the Waterstones one. Whilst the whole thrust of the advertising so far is that it is all true, Waterstones must have some doubts about the veracity of this claim as they have categorized the book as a work of fiction. Oh dear .... Are they privy to some info that the general public aren't? Or has Anya pushed her luck just a little too far in her efforts to get a book deal by any means? After all, the homeless blogger bit was stretching credibility, especially in her refusal to answer even the most basic of queries but the sudden emergence of the whole abandoned baby/abusive childhood elements may have raised suspicions a tad higher. Particularl;y as these fascinating elements weren't even mentioned until the ghost writer hired to beef up the story was brought on board. Not that he had previous form in bunging in these elements for books he had assisted on in the past. Oh wait .... he did. Hmmmm................

Seven, the number of posts with actual news

2007-01-15T22:13:00.000Z

Ho hum........ Todays post by Anya sees more piffle about how hard it was to write the book and even more reminscing about being homeless. From the amount of whining she does about it, you'd think she had been homeless for years instead of a few months but I guess she has to keep harping on about it as you can bet your bottom dollar that the book promotion will feature homelessness as the tag to draw unsuspecting gullible readers in. It really does look like she can't be arsed writing anything of note these days and every posts highlights the fact that the entire blog is merely a stopgap till the book promotion gets into full swing. Even the links have been changed to self congratulatory and self promoting. Does anyone even read it these days? I only do so out of a keen sense of duty to my readers but with so little happening these days, it seems that the impetus has been lost and Harper Collins made a big mistake in throwing hard cash at a homeless bum with no story to tell. Not that it stopped her coming up with something to justify the bundle of moolah though! The last post with any actual news was way back in November (when she confessed to losing her mind). I can't help feeling that when the book is finally released and the blog is pointed out as the source of it all, those dozens of new readers who pop along for a butchers are going to be sorely disappointed with the actual content. Much like we are everytime she posts..............

Updates

2007-01-05T13:52:00.000Z

To avoid the mind numbing chore of checking Anya’s' site for updates (which seem to be done every other month now), I have a small script running which checks for changes. The log for Thursday 4th Jan showed a change but all that was apparent was that the cover of her forthcoming blockbuster (no sniggering at the back) had been added to her links column along with a link to the Amazon listing. Strangely though, there was no actual blog entry update as to her status. Just an attempt to flog her goods and chattels via the blog (which the more cynical amongst us would realise was the reason d étre in the first place). Just what does she spend her time doing these days? Apart from reminiscing about the good old days when she was homeless, of course and therefore more interesting than just another unemployed person living in a bedsit. In a curious twist, I received another alert later in the day that there had been more changes to the blog. Naturally I hot-footed it over there (I really ought to get a life) only to find that the expected blog entry wasn't present. In fact, the only change was that the book cover and link to Amazon had now disappeared. Very strange. Could this be the equivalent of trying on a new dress and admiring yourself in the mirror? Had Anya grown so bored, locked up in her bedsit all day, that she was considering an actual post about some actual news but chickened out in the end? I rather favour the hypothesis that she doesn’t want to whip the Media into a frenzy over her book too soon.

1st Post of the New Year

2007-01-01T13:17:00.000Z

Best Wishes to all Fans of Truth, Justice and The British Way !!

It's Christmas !!

2006-12-24T22:30:00.000Z

Greetings fellow Blogospherenauts (if there is such a thing) , Some of you may be wondering why there has been no updates to this hallowed blog since November 27th. Well, if truth be told, there have been no updates on the Wanderingscribe blog since that date and as I exist only to provide counterbalance to her lies and deception, then there has been nothing to report. Apologies to the 325 of you that have logged on diligently (yes, I have stats enabled) since that date to see more of her shenanigans and outright lies shot down in flames but the simple truth is that her blog appears to have served its purpose and got her the book deal she was hankering after all along, hence few updates. I've no doubt that there will be more entries along the lines of "OMG what a whirl of press junkets and book signings, my life is all topsy turvey at the moment" bollox that will appear once she starts to fulfill her contractual obligations to advertise her book but in the meantime I'd like to extend a personal thanks to the 186,000 of you who have visited my site since its inception on 30th May 2006. Those figures are verifiable (unlike some we can mention) and if you want proof then just drop me an email. Try asking for that from "Anya Peters". Cynical? Moi? I leave with with one more image until the new year and I wish all my readers a Merry Xmas and a prosperous and peaceful New Year .....

Genuine homeless peple cut down the trees in "The Laneway" so that they can't be used as marketing pawns for some cynical would be author ........

Wanderingscribe Abridged (3)

2006-11-27T19:21:00.000Z

As a public service to those of you who don't have the stomach (or the sheer mental fortitude) to read all the posts on Anya's site, I present the latest edition of Wanderingscribe Abridged. To get fully up to date, you may wish to peruse Episode 1 & Episode 2 of this exciting tale of ummm... nothingness which will bring you smack bang up to date with Anya Peters and her quest for a book deal. July 03 - Reminisce about when I was homeless and it was hot. July 17 - Car broke down August 17 - Waffle August 26 - Been on holiday to Ireland September - No posts October 21 - Reminisce about when I was homeless and I slept in a car. November 21 - Finished the book. November 27 - Reminisce about when I was homeless and hungry. There ya go folks, 5 months wrapped up in 7 posts. Didn't take long did it !! Although I am sensing a recurrring theme about how she harps on about being homeless even though she has been living in a bedsit for 6 months now. This writing larks a piece of piss! I reckon anybody with rudimentary writing skills could knock out a book these days ........ Oh look, someone has!!

Confession Time

2006-11-27T18:37:00.000Z

At last there's hope for Anya. Her latest post (which incidentally goes waaaaaaaaaaaay over the top in terms of dribble quotient) marks a turn for the better as she finally confesses that she has lost her mind. ".... letting the waves carry my mind off. Because, yesterday, it was very good to walk on without it for a bit..." Way to go Anya. You have to realise there's a problem before you can get help!! Later on there's even more revelations that she once found some magic mushrooms and asked a café to cook them but, after they turfed the crazy homeless lady out onto the streets, she walked along with "my saliva dripping in lemony butter". There's a pretty mental image to conjure up. Do people make a habit of asking food establishments to cook something they found lying on the ground? Perhaps this is a ploy to "big up" the mental illness aspect that she must surely be going to use to promote the forthcoming book. Here's a little tip. Save your energy love. The evidence is already well stacked up in your favour !

Anya in her jutting out Kitchen. Did someone say "Eh ehh ehhhhh...."

He's got my publicity !!

2006-11-24T15:49:00.000Z

Poor old Anya must be a bit peeved at the news that the bloke who inspired her to create a blog to get a book deal has only gone and got himself some more publicity from the BBC. Hugh Sawyer has made the news because he's upping sticks (probably literally) and becoming homeless in Ecuador. (What a grand life those homeless folks live, eh readers !) Avid readers of the turgid tale of Anya will recall that she used his blog to advertise her own, even going so far as to feign surprise that she was mentioned by the New York Times and handily providing a link for anyone who wanted to see her blog. (Don't forget it was written for herself though and was absolutely in no way a self promotional tool!!). Quite how she could be surprised when she obviously gave the interview in the first place isn't explored though. Probably a result of that mental illness that she'll be harping on about in the book. I quite liked the quote by the Beeb about Hugh Sawyer that "He has tried to make his living as authentic as possible." Mmmm..... Me too. I'm sick of meeting people who only pretend to live.

It is done

2006-11-23T07:32:00.000Z

But who really cares? How many months is it now with no real news? How many months of self indulgent clap trap? Even the most ardent of fans must be reading Anya's blog and thinking "There's no news here!" Mind you, there is no story now. Not until the publicity train hoves into view............

Remember

2006-11-11T11:43:00.000Z

In Flanders field the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields.

Reaching out for help ....

2006-11-06T17:04:00.000Z

As the latest site to fall victim to the con job being perpetrated by Anya Peters, World Vision includes a couple of recorded interviews ( a 2 minute "taster" and an in depth one of 5 minutes) where our heroine of the Laneways once again peddles the bullshit that has made her a celebrity in her own mind. I wasn't really sure if it was indeed our very own Laneway loser as the presenter keeps referring to her as "Onya" but how many homeless people can there be living in their cars in London? Actually, probably loads if it's a proven method to get a book deal. So.... cue the interview and straight away, the presenter makes a point that "Onya" is calling from a London payphone (no doubt to highlight the "pity me" aspect). Hang on a mo ..... Surely those tight wads at Harper Collins would have let her use the phone for 5 minutes. Especially as this would count as promotional work !! Mind you, it wouldn't have quite the same ring to it. "Here's "Onya" ringing from her publishers office about her forthcoming book .........." The presenter makes all the right cooing noises and feeds "Onya" her cues and our little trooper starts tugging at our heart strings with how she read about this person who had a blog (no mention that he got a book deal through it which "Onya" has admitted made her feel jealous) and how she then used her blog as a "cry for help". Hold The Phone !! I may be mistaken but weren't many offers of help made? (You can check 'em out yourself by trawling through the older comments on her site before they too are deleted (to help the story flow better)) Contact points for charities. Address's. Personal offers of help. On and on they flowed. But all were rejected by "Onya". Until that glorious day when the offer of help from a literary agent was made. Hallelujah !! That was more like it ! That's what she was waiting for. Sadly, the presenter doesn't go into this but instead asks "Onya" if she could perhaps read a passage from her blog. Don't be silly love. This poor ex-homeless woman is calling in from a payphone. Do you think she would have a printed copy of her blog to hand? Actually she does! Sacré Bleu !! Either that, or a laptop with wifi access so she can instantly call up her site. So off "Onya" goes, enthralling the listeners with an excerpt from February (one of the earliest entries). Now she might be reading from her soon to be published manuscript as the quote doesn't exactly match up with what appears on the blog. Was she quoting from memory? Could be as there have only been 69 posts in total since that first one in February. We then learn that Harper Collins asked her to write about her experiences. Strangely "Onya" forgets to mention the actual version which is that her new found agent apparently whipped up interest in her experiences before supposedly getting a bidding war going for the story which Harper Collins won. Umm.. your experiences as a homeless bum? Funny that, because the book that they are touting doesn't seems to concentrate on the homeless aspect too much but instead on how she "overcame her traumatic childhood and adult homelessness to find a place she could call home". So that would be a London Bedsit, would it? The drivel continues ..........

All my own work. Or is it …….

2006-10-31T15:47:00.000Z

The claims by Wanderingscribe that her writing skills alone won the book deal have come under scrutiny recently with two opposing statements. One by Wanderingscribe herself that she’s "scribbling away furiously" and the other by her ghost writer about his Modus Operandii of interviewing the named author and then writing the book himself. Others have picked up on this latest in a series of anomalies and even questioned the (alleged) author herself via emails. Surprisingly she has deigned to answer one or two with the explanation that she and she alone is creating the masterpiece with Andrew Crofts merely "on standby" in case he is called upon to make any minor adjustments nearer to publishing time. Call me cynical if you like (it would make a change from Shirley) but would a Publishing House risk leaving it to the last minute before asking their ghost writer to "hone" the writings of a first timer with no experience of writing for a mass market? Especially as they have publicly stated that the book is being "written with Andrew Crofts" already. Another clue would be in the classification that Harper Collins are assigning to the the book (although even they aren't sure how to define the hotchpotch). Category: Biography and autobiography Come come HC, I realise that writing skills or a command of the English language aren't really a pre-requisite for your authors but even you must know the difference between a biography and an autobiography. Perhaps Anya is also confused over those big words so I'll help the poor soul out by presenting this "Print, Cut out and Keep" guide. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Bi·og·ra·phy: An account of a person's life written, composed, or produced by another (that would be the bit where Andrew Crofts produces it) Au·to·bi·og·ra·phy: The biography of a person written by that person. (that would be without Andrew Crofts) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Noblesse Oblige

Art imitates Life

2006-10-25T15:10:00.000Z

Acknowledgements to Private Eye

How many posts?

2006-10-24T12:30:00.000Z

To aid newcomers to the phenomenon known as Anya Peters, I was going to do another "Anya Peters Abridged" post in which I provide just bullet points of previous posts by Anya. Although this would undoubtedly prove an invaluable resource and save new readers from having to trudge through the endless tedium of her blog, thereby allowing them to get "up to speed", I was struck by a question. Just how many posts has she made in her quest to get that book deal? Hmmmmmm.............. Those of you with as much time on their hands as I have could pop over to her blog and do a bit of research but here's a helpful summary of all daily articles since she started back in February 2006.

February - 17

March - 19

April - 15

May - 10

June - 3

July - 2

August - 2

September - 0

October - 1

Total Daily Posts = 69

Another interesting fact is that Anya admitted that she secured her agent and book deal in the middle of May. Sacré Bleu !! I've just noticed that since she got the book deal, she has made a grand total of 8 posts. That's 8 posts in 5 months. Oh well, I guess she's been busy writing that book. Hang on. It's being Ghost written for her !?!

Oh well, I guess the time must have been taken up with trips to see the family. Then there'll be all those meetings to arrange her book tour and personal appearances. Funny how this isn't even mentioned in her latest posts. Just vague reminisces about when she was homeless.

Of course, that was 6 months ago but the blog still has its uses.

After all, HC have already stated their intention to use her blog as a marketing tool.

I'm sure they'll be advising her get her finger out and to start posting some more soon.

Unless she's going to get a ghost writer in for that as well .......

A chance to verify Anyas Tale?

2006-10-22T12:41:00.000Z

In what must be a shocking blow for Harper Collins (HC), Wikipedia have deleted the entry for Wanderingscribe from their site. Why should it concern HC? Well, as you will be aware, the purpose of Wikipedia is to act as a repository for truthful facts. A notice posted on Wikipedia (dated 23rd September) stated that Lawyers of Harper Collins had been in touch regarding some of the so called facts and that further additions to the page were temporarily banned whilst legal teams looked at it. Quite what they were looking at was never disclosed. Within a day or two, the ban was lifted and the Anya Sicko-fants continued to alter the data and, as previously seen on the Anya Peters blog comments section, attempted to manipulate the facts to bolster the fanciful tale being woven by the author. On 19th October, Wikipedia posted a notice at the top of the post regarding the Wanderingscribe blog ands subsequent Wikipedia entry and stated that "it looks like an attempt by a publisher to whip up controversy about a book in order to generate sales." Although stating that there would be a 5 day period of grace allowed to prove the claims presented by the author using the pseudonym of Anya Peters (either directly or via HC), the page was deleted less than 48 hours later. Wikipedias rules state that "content which fails inclusion criteria for Wikipedia, is incapable of verification with reputable sources, .... is usually deleted." One can only imagine that the combined might of Harper Collins legal team (who would surely count as a reputable source) were unable to provide any substantiated proof about their claims regarding Anya Peters (which you would have thought would be easy to prove). Will this stop the marketing process for the book that has already swung into action? Doubtful, however, you can be pretty sure that any mention of the deleted Wanderingscribe entry on Wikipedia will be omited when HC are trying to drum up interest. Unless of course folks stumble on this humble little blog ...... You can find a copy of the Wikipedia entry before the Anya Sicko-fants tried yet another cover up, here.

Who ya gonna call? GHOST-WRITER !!

2006-10-21T09:21:00.000Z

As Anya Peters (and that's not her real name, folks) forthcoming book has been ghost written by Andrew Crofts, Anya's Sicko-Fants might be interested in who this dude is.

After all, surely he must be sympathetic to homeless folks to have taken on the assignment. A quick sneaky peeky at his website indicates that he does indeed have "form". Curiously though, I couldn't see much evidence of his work with homeless folks. Tellingly he does confess that it does not take him that long to write someone's book. for them. "We sit down with a tape recorder and I try and get twenty to 30 hours of information on tape. Then..... I have the book" So just what is Anya doing these days? What is it that's keeping her from updating her blog seeing as how Andrew must have all the info he needs by now? Perhaps lots of meetings with her publishers and agent about her forthcoming book tour. Maybe discussions about how to maximise publicity by accentuating her blog? Who knows.... Meanwhile Poor Andrew must be slaving away over Anya's book. I guess it will be a change for him after ghost writing for so many other folks. A chance to put the perspective of a homeless person. After all, Harper Collins will be using (is that the right word?) "numerous homeless charities and the Big Issue magazine to promote, market and distribute the book". And all to support Anya in the manner to which she has become accustomed to..... (oh go on then, we'll throw a few bob at the homeless folks if you insist). But what of poor Andrew, slaving away to bring us the story of a poor Anya Peters as she struggled to come to terms with homelessness. After all, it was homelessness that was the reason for creating the Anya Peters blog in the first place, remember?

So as Andrew slaves away, adding his own personal spin on the story of homelessness, lets take a quick stroll down (Andrew's') memory lane about some of the books he has ghostwritten in the past.....

For imstance, there was The Little Prisoner. This is the true story of a girl who was dominated, bullied and sexually abused by her stepfather..... Then there was Please, Daddy, No. The tragic story of an abused boy ...... Let's not foget The Kid. This moving story of an abused boy,........ Hmmm..... Is it just me or can anyone see a formula appearing here .......... Of course, that fact that there was no mention of abuse on Anyas' blog till she had the book deal and the ghostwriter was commissioned must be purely coincidental. Makes you think though .......... (Obviously this last sentence does not apply to Anya Sicko-fants ).

Abandoned. The true story of an author with poor writing skills.

2006-10-20T18:53:00.000Z

News reaches me via the grapevine that Anya's writing skills so impressed Harper Collins that they decided to get someone else to write her book with her. Sacré Bleu !! What about our heroines valiant struggle to be recognised as a bona fidé author? What about her half finished novel about romance in the Scottish highlands? A post on the Harper Colins site reveals how the book is to be ghostwritten by Andrew Crofts "the ghostwriter who crafted three No. 1 bestselling memoirs, including 'Just a Boy' and 'Little Prisoner". Hmm.. Could it be that the flowery clap trap that Anya has been posting on her blog is considered not good enough to publish? Evidently so as the services of another writer have been called upon to ensure that the book isn't filled with the dribble that we have had to endure so far. But how will the Anya Sicko-fants take to this new improved style of writing which involves a real life author pointing out that "Mills and Boon styley prose" belongs firmly in the last milennium? Only time will tell but Harper Collins are determined to claw back their advance fee (rumoured to be in excess of £20,000) and are "bigging up" the fact that Anya's blog was nominated for a media award run by the New Statesman magazine. Spookily they fail to mention tha it was nominated by one of Anya's loyal Sicko-fants or that t it didn't even make the short list. Never mind. Let's not let the facts get in the way of a good marketing campaign, eh! The proposed advertising campaign aims also state that "Coverage will include interviews, features, reviews in key woman’s and lifestyle media. Strong strong serial sale expected." Looks like a comment left in response to a post on this blog that it "Sounds like a 10 part "Bella" special to me." is spookily accurate. At least they are going to be using Anya's blog as a marketing tool to promote the book (I was under the impression that was the raison d’être from the outset!) I wonder if she'll be kind enough to add a link to this humble blog to present a balanced view. Hmmm.. there's more chance of parking for free in a London hospital car park ....... We are also informed that the name "Anya Peters" is a pseudonym. Blimey! So she was lying to the New York Times as well as the BBC. Who would have thought it ...... Image © Harper Collins Ltd

Delete ! Delete ! Delete !

2006-10-19T22:51:00.000Z

In what must come as startling news to the Worlds favourite (un)homeless author, there are plans afoot to delete the Wanderingscribe entry on Wikipedia. As most readers will be aware, Wikipedia is the 21st Centurys equivalent of a universal encyclopaedia. One that can be counted on as a source of irrefutable reference. It seems that the constant edits by the Wanderingscribe sicko-fants to cover and obfuscate the facts supposedly reported on Anya Peters blog have come to the attention of the admins over at Wikipedia who have decreed that the whole stunt is just that. A stunt by the publishing house to drum up publicity for a book. Accordingly they have set a 5 day deadline for anybody to prove that the whole sorry tale is indeed true. After that, the entry will be deleted. Will Anya emerge from her dingey bedsit to address the numerous anomolies that occur in her blog and thus seal the Wikipedia entry as fact? Or will she just continue to waffle about arty farty romanticised fictional accounts of a non existant person on her blog and have the ignomy of being declared by an iconic site of the internet as a fraud? Some may say (to quote an old Irish saying) that it's time to "piss or get off the pot ......" Did she think she could fool all of the people all of the time?

The plot thickens

2006-10-17T13:32:00.000Z

Do you think that I should go into the fortune telling business? I only ask as the first synopsis of Anya's book reveals that, Lo and behold, she was abused as a child. Strange that her blog never mentioned it. Not once. Perhaps my post of August 10th (I remember now ....) was a foretelling of things to come. Or things that had passed. Was I a fly on the wall of a certain café? Or perhaps my cynicism of the whole "Homeless persons blog" is proving to be well founded. Here's a snippet: Born illegitimately to Irish lovers, Anya was given away by her real mother and brought up in England by her loving aunt. However, her childhood with her new family was far from happy - verbally and sexually abused for years, Anya finally cracked and shopped her violent uncle, resulting in his imprisonment. After his imprisonment and a few months before her twelfth birthday, Anya lost her whole family overnight. Blimey O'Reilly!! Did it really happen like that? Of course, those of a cynical nature (such as I) may hypothesise that Anya has been "cherry picking" from the selection of misery memoirs already on the market. After all, in this manufactured world we live in, it makes sense to see what's proving the hook for the book buying public and to whack a dollop of that into your own offering. In my post of September 23rd (More Misery Memoir Fakes...) I pointed out that in a faked blog, the author had been abused as a child in Ireland and had a baby which was given away. I even suggested that Anya might have to up the stakes in her own book if she was to compete. Leap forward a few short weeks and what is now revealed? We now find claims that Anya was an illegitimate child of an Irish couple who was given away as a baby as well as abused as a child !! Is it just me, or is a pattern developing here? I reckon I should get at least a credit in her book as a co-writer. You can't tell me that I don't have a regular reader in a certain jutting out kitchen somewhere in the exact middle of England.

Time passes .......

2006-10-17T12:51:00.000Z

As the last post by Wanderingscribe was on 26th August (7 weeks and counting), one can only imagine where she has jetted off to this time.

Could it be "A Caribbean Cruise"? A jaunt over to the USA to catch up with her dear mother to inform her that her little girl finally got the book deal she's been hankering after all along? Or has Harper Collins finally got wise and clawed back what's left of the advance fee, thereby forcing Anya to give up her bedsit in London? Maybe the Hospital Car Park where she spent so many weeks and months parking "for free" have been reviewing their security camera footage and, now that Anya is of "fixed abode", have sent a backdated bill for the parking, thereby wiping out the remains of her book advance fee. It's all rather mysterious, wouldn't you agree?

Or perhaps the bottom has fallen out of the misery memoir market and Anya is no longer considered worthy of the attention she so desperately sought.

After all, the "Home Page" for Anya at Harper Collins hasn't been updated. Ever.

It even states that the title hasn't been decided (maybe someove over at Amazon could let 'em know).

Hmmmmm...............

Yet another fake book - Is there no end to them?

2006-10-09T09:45:00.000Z

The increasingly populated world of faked books is getting even more crowded with the latest revelation that one Rohan Kriwaczek managed to fool the publishing house Overlook into buying the rights to a book he'd wrote about The Guild of Funerary Violinists , a supposedly ancient secret order going back over 400 years. The publishing house lapped it up and his book is currently in print. However, common sense dictates that any organisation existing for over 400 years would leave some traces behind (even a "secret" one). That very same common sense (which appears to be getting less common by the week) would also tell you that if you raise your head above the parapet, someone is going to take a few pot shots. So it came to pass that some folks looked into the supposed existence of The Guild of Funerary Violinists. And found that they didn't exist. Sacré Bleú !! Could it be that yet another publishing house has been fooled by a fake author? Unsurprisingly, the answer is yet again, Yes. Don't these people do any research for themselves?. Just a quick visit to his website to check out his pics would be enough to let you form an opinion that you might be inclined to throw a few bob into his hat as you pass him on the street playing his violin but handing over a cheque for thousands of pounds would be a different matter. Articles have been appearing (including ones by Grumpy Old Bookman, The Daily Mail and other blogs) highlighting the fraud but the publishing house themselves have all but accepted that the book is a fake and are steaming ahead with the publication and distribution anyway. This could prove to be a bit of a double edged sword for Wanderingscribe (who is presumably still beavering away with her own work of fiction in her jutting out kitchen). On the one hand there seems to be an air of almost resignation from publishing houses that a percentage of supposedly real life books are going to be faked and so why bother checking the facts (if it sells then both they and the author get their hands on your cash anyway). On the other hand, it is encouraging folks (not related to the publishing houses) to examine the actual facts behind allegedly factual books in an effort to either confirm or deny the stories presented as truths. So when/if Abandoned ever does hit the book stores then there will be others of an inquisitive nature who will be delving into Anya Peter’s background a little more closely than Harper Collins did before throwing loads of Wonga at her for her dreary tale of one person’s failure to get by in this world we live in. Will she be getting her facts straight before then? Well, if her present track record is anything to go by then it's highly unlikely. Perhaps she'll be reporting it all from her jutting out kitchen which is situated in London, the exact middle of England.

More Misery Memoirs Fakes ......

2006-09-23T18:50:00.000Z

Looks like Anya may have to spice up her work of fiction about her supposedly cruel and heartless upbringing as more wannabe authors are crawling out of the woodwork to add to the bucketloads of misery memoirs that are the current flavour of the month in literary circles. Mainstream Publishing published Kathy's Story, a supposed biographical account by Kathy O'Beirne of her terrible upbringing where she allegedly;

Had her hand put in the crack of a door while her father pressed against it until the pain made her pass out
Had her hand held in a pan of hot grease as a child
Was beaten by her father with a belt until the wounds turned septic
Was raped in a Convent when 14
Had a baby as a result of the rape which was stolen away by the nuns in the convent

Heart tugging stuff. Except a few people have said it's all a load of bollocks. People such as her 5 bothers and sisters who have claimed the book is a "hoax publication'. People like the Nuns who run the Convent who have met with Kathy prior to the publication of her book and are now considering suing over the allegations. At a press conference held by the family, they refuted yet another claim by Kathy that she was adopted by producing her birth certificate. This also laid to rest claims that Kathy was 45 when her birth certificate showed her to be 50. And yet 350,000 copies of the book have been sold (no doubt earning a pretty penny for the author). Looks like Anya will have to "up the stakes" as she is penning her own version of dark and lurid tales of her childhood, if she expects to compete in this murky world of fiction. Perhaps she was raped by the Pope who flew into her window on a flying saucer........ A simple tale of "lost my job, lived in a car for a bit, got a book deal" just won't cut it in todays demanding market.

Geography

2006-09-22T18:35:00.000Z

"...to talk about this book and sit with him in Yeat’s tower, in almost the exact middle of Ireland" So waffles our (non) homeless heroine in her last post of August (with yet another gap of at least a month before anything more). One of my loyal readers happened to mention in my comments section that Yeats Tower wasn't in the centre of Ireland. Surely, as Anya stated such affinity with the Emerald Isle, she couldn't be so wrong. After all, could it have been mentioned for the purposes of literary prose and to make the story more appealing (much like the lie about being homeless)? So I popped onto the AA route planner for Ireland and typed in the lcation of Yeats Tower and the location of the exact centre of Ireland which (as everybody knows) is Tullamore. Blimey !! 73 miles apart. Mind you, the width of Ireland at its widest point is 170 miles so that would make Anyas' calculation out by about about a third of the entire country. Hmmmm.. I guess geography wasn't a strong point in her schooling. Let's hope she doesn't just make stuff up in her book for dramatic effect, like she does in her blog, eh readers !!

Wherefore art the Con Artist now ......

2006-09-12T17:00:00.000Z

With yet another extended absence from her blog, the Anya-sickofants must be wondering where she's got to now.

Perhaps another International jaunt to introduce the readers to yet more characters who will appear in her book.....
Or maybe she's just nipped off to knock up a quick book of poetry with her dad...

Awwww.. I can picture her next blog entry now. "And as the sun sank slowly beneath the horizon like a great big sinky thing on fire in the sky, I lay my head on daddies lap in the appley green orchard full of green appley apples that reminded me of small round fruits hanging from trees. As Daddy quoted Keats and Shelley to me, I was reminded of happier times in my past when my nannies would tuck me up in my four poster bed and recite Byron and Chaucer to me as I snuggled beneath the freezing sheets, wrapped only in some towels and an ermine coat my mother had given me for my fourth birthday. If only I had been aware of the terrible heart breaky events that I would experience in the future, it would have taken the shine off my forthcoming trip to that Swiss finishing school...."

Such a dilemma !!

2006-08-28T21:34:00.000Z

It must be a terrible burden to be famous for being homeless. After all, once you are no longer homeless, you have no claim to fame. And then you have to maintain interest in your blog (and I use the term "interest" very loosely) by increasing the dribble quotient of your posts. Take the latest post by Anya (dated 26th August). Fans eager for news after a whole month of silence will be relieved to hear that she wasn't involved in some horrific building collapse involving a jutting out kitchen but just went to Ireland to "escape the hideous heat". Most of us just opened a window but I guess that the big wedge of spondoolicks she got from Harper Collins was burning a hole in her pocket so off she trotted to another country. Sounds like she's gotten over the whole homeless thing pretty quickly, eh chums ! But without the daily struggle for existence (which had quite literally tens of people all over the world hanging on her every word) to talk about in her blog, how best to drive up interest in her forthcoming book? Perhaps introducing some characters from the forthcoming book as a taster. Waahaay !! Inspiration strikes and off she (allegedly) pops to see some bloke who couldn't give a rats arse about his daughters welfare over the last year. Cue lots of catching "glimpses of each other in the driver’s mirror" (Trés Dramatique!) as her drove her all over Ireland (if the post is to be believed). But why would you catch a glimpse in the drivers' mirror (we call it a rear view mirror in this country, love)? Surely this only happens when someone is driving and someone is in the back seat. Ahhhh... Lady Muck must have been too proud to sit in the front with "the driver" and therefore must have chose to be chauffeured around, waving regally as the local inhabitants of those quaint Irish villages doffed their cap as she glided gracefully through. Cue much waffly lyrical waxing as she gets back into her stride with the overly flowery dogs dinner that she thinks marks her writing as that of a true author.

Daddy quoting poetry under apple trees.
Sharing a snack with Daddy at the seaside.
Clattering around narrow bumpy roads in a horse and trap with Daddy.

Luckily some self defence anti-boredom mechanism kicked in at that point and I could read no more of this piss poor Mills & Boon garbage, choosing instead, to slip into a welcoming coma as the lesser of two evils. Could some kind soul read the rest of the post and let me know how it turns out. I do hope it involves a ferry sinking.

Wikipedia

2006-08-20T08:56:00.000Z

Newcomers to the internet phenomenon of the artist formerly known as Wanderingscribe will now be able to glean a brief synopsis of this elusive figure at Wikipedia. The entry (already updated) also includes a handy link to this very blog so that new readers can get both sides of the story and not just the version that Anya Peters wants to portray. Whilst the entry includes some very relevant points, it fails to mention the wildly optimistic claim by the BBC that Anya's site was receiving over 100,000 hits a month. Although emails were sent to the BBC querying this figure and asking for verification, no answer was received. Much like Anya's blog itself where she closed down the comments section to stop people asking those awkward questions that she would rather people didn't ask. Can't have the truth getting in the way of a good story, can we ........

One month and counting .....

2006-08-16T15:53:00.000Z

As Anya Peter's blog approaches the first month anniversary of no updates, questions are being asked about whether it was really all a hoax and has she finally been "sussed" by her publishers. History shows us that time and again, publishers have been fooled into publishing books from wannabe authors who have stretched the truth in order to garner a book deal. Here's a few examples. Norma Khouri A Jordanian woman living in exile in Australia, she wrote about her experiences in Jordan where she worked at a Unisex hair salon with her friend who fell in love with a Christian. Eventually things turned sour for their relationship and her friend was the victim of an honour killing whereby Norma fled from Jordan in fear for her life. Exciting stuff eh ! The book was released by Random House publishing in 2003 and immediately became a best seller, shifting over 500,000 copies in Australia. Unfortunately some of the "facts" didn't add up and a journalist researched the story properly (shouldn't the publishers do this?) and found that although Khouri was born and lived in Jordan, she emigrated at the age of three. The story was made up. In August 2004 Khouri admitted that she had took "literary licence" with the book but received no payment for it (a fact strongly denied by her publishers). Helen Darville In 1993 Helen wrote about her experiences (using the pen name of Helen Demidenko) in her home country of the Ukraine and particularly about two brothers who survive Stalinism only to become members of the Nazi Einsatzgruppen death squads. The novel was widely acclaimed and won various awards including the Australian Literature Society Gold Medal and in 1995 the Miles Franklin Award (the most prestigious literary award in Australia). Sadly though, it turned out that Darville was of British origin and had manufactured a fantasy life as someone of Ukrainian descent . Critics labelled the novel a hoax and the judges who had granted the awards were ridiculed in the press. Laura Victoria Albert Presented to the public and publishers as a transgendered, sexually questioning, abused, former homeless drug addict and male prostitute called JT LeRoy, JT has produced several books and numerous magazine articles. However, after writing a piece for the Sunday Times Travel Magazine about Disneyland Paris, discrepancies were noted regarding the expenses submitted. Further investigations revealed that JT didn't actually exist but was a concoction of a wannabe author named Laura Albert. Articles in the New York Times provided evidence to this fact in January and February 2006. Kaycee Nicole Kaycee was presented as a high school student suffering from frequent and severe health problems, and had an online diary with a large Internet following. After it was "reported" that she had died of leukaemia, triggering an outpouring of condolences and grief from her readers, some wondered whether she was in fact a real person. Following an investigation, it turned out that Kaycee was a fictional person invented by her "mother". Although many gifts had been sent to Kaycee and subsequently received by her "mother", the FBI decided that t was not a case of fraud and no charges were brought. Although the last example did not end with a publishing deal, it serves as a reminder of the power of the internet and the evolution of methods employed by fraudsters in order to draw attention to themselves. Remind you of anybody we know..........

Security Alert !!

2006-08-10T15:26:00.000Z

Britain was in a high state of alert today as security forces gained reliable intelligence that Anya Peters was thinking of leaving the country to promote her forthcoming book "Abandoned - The True Story of a Little Girl who made a Fortune from a Blog". In order to reduce the potential panic that may have ensued, they made up some story about terrorists trying to blow up planes as a cover for the massive security operation that swung into effect to stop anybody outside the UK experiencing the drivel that has become Anya's trademark. A spokesman for the National Intelligence Taskforce for Wanderingscribe Incidence of Travelling Suppression (NITWITS) commented "It just wouldn't be fair for other countries to suffer how the great people of the UK have at the hands of this assassin of the English Language". He continued "Although we have highly experienced teams searching the southern counties for all instances of jutting out kitchens, we cannot take a chance that she'll manage to slip out of the country before we manage to track her down, hence this security operation". US officials expressed concern that an anagram of Anya Peters is “A Neater Spy”, an anagram of Wanderingscribe is "Inbred Car Swine" and that Anya is known to have links with a Middle Eastern country (she once stored figs in the boot of her car). The FBI immediately raised their country’s Alert Level to “Cacking Pants”, one level below “Holy Shit!”.

Super Hero Sidekick Wanted

2006-08-05T13:47:00.000Z

As I am being continually praised for my heroic deeds in outing the evil doings of con atists, I have decided to take the leap and become a full time Super Hero. "Wanderingscribe Man" Naturally I shall require a Sidekick to assist me in my duties so if you would like to apply for the role of "Laneway Boy" then send a CV attached to a used £20 note and I shall consider your application. Uniform wil be provided Hugssssss....... Anya Peters

Abandoned - The True story of a Little Girl who went to a Madonna concert.

2006-08-05T13:35:00.000Z

Looks like everyone is jumping on the Abandoned Bandwagon these days.

Perhaps Anya will be able to form a self help group for abandoned women everywhere. They could meet for tea and crackers in the jutting out kitchen once a week.

I remember now ........

2006-08-02T15:34:00.000Z

A Cafe somewhere in London. Two women sit hunched over cups of steaming foaming coffee's. The steam tendrils dance like wafty steamy things in the air between them. Agent: I'm pleased to say that I have found some publishers who may be willing to publish a book by you. Homeless Bum: That's good news because I have a novel half finished already. Agent: Yeah that's great but we'd like the book to be about your life story. You know, your upbringing, the pain you've suffered as a child, the abuse etc. Homeless Bum: But I wasn't abused as a child. Agent: Oh come on now, Abuse takes many forms. It could be someone looking at you funny or some creepy person that you don't feel comfortable around. There must have been people like that in your life. Homeless Bum: Not really. I had a privileged upbringing and a good education. It wasn't till I made some bad choices later in life that I became homeless through my own inadequacies. Agent: Are you sure because the "misery memoir" market is very hot at the moment. Homeless Bum: Quite sure. But my novel is half finished and I'm sure it will be very popular. Agent: Listen Sweety, no one is interested in yet another novel from an unknown author, Do you realise how many hundreds of novels get published every month? You are on the map because you are a victim. People will want to read about you being a victim. Are you sure you weren't abused? Homeless Bum: Yes, quite sure. Agent: That's a pity then as I can't really see much interest in any book. Are you absolutely positive that you weren't kiddie fiddled? Homeless Bum: Well...... now you mention it, it's all coming back to me now. Agent: Excellent. I'll knock up a few bullet points and let the publishers know that there's lots of competition for your human interest story. That should get 'em vying against each other which will push up the amount we can claim as an advance. Homeless Bum: Really? Gosh. But my blog never mentioned any abuse. Agent: That's probably because you had blocked it out whilst you were homeless but now you are getting yourself together, you can tell the world the whole story. Right? Homeless Bum: Ummm.... yeah. Actually it's all coming back to me now. There were quite a few incidents where I was abused. Agent: That's the ticket, Sweety. You get busy jotting down a few rough notes and we'll get a ghost writer to flesh the thing out to a few hundred pages. I'll get busy with my contacts. I've a feeling this will be very lucrative for both of us ..........

Step in Time

2006-07-25T15:43:00.000Z

As I was driving through London my car overheated. Sure enough, as foretold in the prophecies of Wanderingscribe, I glanced in the mirror and there, running down the street in ther hi-viz jackets were a lovable bunch of Cockney workmen. Before you could say "Knees up Mother Brown", they'd pushed my car to "The Mary Poppins Garage" where a fat jolly faced mechanic fixed it up lickety split, cleaned the windows, filled the tank and only charged me tuppence !! As I climbed back into my car and gave a cheery wave to the jolly faced mechanic, I noticed that the lovable Cockney workmen were following me down the street, doing a dance with their shovels..... Kick your knees up, step in time Never need a reason, Never need a rhyme Kick your knees up, step in time..... Gawd Blimey !!

Who'd ave adam and eve'd it !!

Inspiration

2006-07-20T19:01:00.000Z

Anya is reminded of another interesting facet of her life that she thinks will be of interest to her fans .....

I shall say zis onlee wonse !

2006-07-15T09:30:00.000Z

A recent article by Spotlightradio highlighted Wanderingscribes blog. Spotlightradio appears to be a Christian organisation who post articles in "Specialised English", a special English method of broadcasting. This may come as a surprise to those of us who use English everyday and never knew there was a special way of speaking it. Apparently, you need to go on a course run by Officer Crabtree from "Allo Allo" who teaches you how to speak English correctly !?! I fear that if "Johnny Foreigner" thinks that all people in England speak like this, he'll be very much surprised when he lands in our fair shores for a holiday. The article about Wanderingscribe (available in mp3 format here ) will be appreciated by fans of Anya for many reasons, not the least of which is that the narrators speak slowly and leave nice big gaps so you can mull over the last sentence in your mind. Sadly though, the Spotlightradio researchers have a comprehension level on a par with a small piece of blue fluff you find in your belly button. They inform their listener that Anya covers how she lost her job in London (must be in the hidden part of her blog that no-one else has seen) and cherry picks at the comments left on the blog, telling how people offer help etc. No mention of the detractors of course and why not? Probably two reasons. 1. As it's a Christian site they'd want to accentuate the positive and "big up" the "fellowship of man" angle. 2. Anya has been systematically removing any of the comments that asked questions or raised doubts about the authenticity of her claims. On this blog, we have touched on the subject of Anya removing negative posts from the comments section of her blog before but this article by Spotlighradio highlights the fact that, if someone now researches her story, they'll find precious few detractors and will be given the impression that the whole world is wishing her well and are all firm believers in her story. Thank goodness this blog exists to provide a bit of balance. Not that the (ex) die hard Anya fans will be swayed the humble views offered by this blog. If they lapped up Anya's "wonderful and insightful" waffle then they are the ideal target audience for Spotlightradio and will rejoice in finding somewhere that provides "wonderful and insightful" narration to listen to as they do their basket weaving at the day centre.

Who's got the scoop ?

2006-07-10T20:54:00.000Z

As many of you will be aware, Anya rarely posts any actual news on her blog these days, relying instead on the usual claptrap and arty farty bollocks to maintain the interest of her readers. In fact, things have got so bad on her site that even she herself has started to keep a careful eye on this very site to see what's going on. Don't believe me? Well, although Anya claims to have only popped over to visit once to see what the fuss was about, careful scrutiny of the IP's of all visitors means that I can pinpoint said visitors to quiet a high degree of accuracy. This site was also the first to break the news of the advanced sales of Anya's book (with acknowledgments to Third Eye) on Amazon before even Anya herself knew. In fact, she was forced to mention it on her own blog a few days later as a damage limitation exercise. My oh my, how that must have pained her that someone else had robbed her of the chance to post something solid on her site instead of the usual meaningless mumbo jumbo about crackers, trees or fairies. As I mentioned from the very first posts, this site is a Wanderingscribe Bullshit free zone and it's heartening that even Anya herself is keeping tabs on my humble "tribute" site to keep abreast of developments concerning her con. Stay tuned folks ........

Book? What book?

2006-07-03T20:14:00.000Z

Can Anya ever make a single post without lying? I pose the question as today’s post by her claims that she hasn't even started writing it yet even though it's being advertised on Amazon. Hold on a mo though ....... So what exactly sparked a bidding war for the rights to her book if nothing existed? Are we to believe that those hard headed literary agents were so bowled over by the quality of writing on the wanderingscribe blog that they were fighting each other to sign her up without any scrap of evidence that she could do anything else apart from write about trees and fairies and blagging free car parking? Let's have a reality check here for a moment. We are led to believe that this poor frightened soul who shuns other people and has just recovered from a mental breakdown can suddenly land a big shot literary agent who then whips the publishing world into a bidding war frenzy for an unknown author who has absolutely nothing to demonstrate their writing skill apart from a blog? Someones 'avin a larf here. The more we see, the more we believe. That it's one big con.

STOP THE PRESS !!

2006-06-29T21:47:00.000Z

Despite only having an agent for a few weeks, moving into her new bedsit, unpacking, eating beans on toast and watching Big Brother, Anya has had time to finish her book. That's right. It's finished !! How do we know? Because it's already being advertised on Amazon with the length of 320 pages being quoted (and apparently she's now a little girl !?!). Surely even her most sycophantic followers that have been showering her with good wishes and hopes that life gets better for her can hardly fail to appreciate that it just is not possible to knock a book up in a couple of weeks. It had to have been written already. Which makes a mockery of the whole homeless element. The very basis for starting her blog in the first place. Or was it? There were some amongst us who thought it was all an exercise in getting a book published. And lo and behold, it's true. I wonder if the BBC will be singing her praises now when they realise that they have been duped into giving her the publicity she craved all along.

Abandoned ?

2006-06-29T15:53:00.000Z

As news of Anya's book deal starts to spread, her work so far is being critiqued by her peers and, as happened previously, it's found to be wanting. An article on Grumpyoldbookman's site gives some background info about the book deal, including the news that the title will be "Abandoned". (I prefer "Doon The Laneway" but I suppose it doesn't have the same "pity me" ring to it). Although her blog was how she came to the attention of book publishers, well, that and her drive to publicise it on book review sites, the book itself will be "a memoir of Anya Peters's abusive childhood and subsequent homelessness." Riiiiiiiggghhhtttt........... So she was living in her car because she was abused as a kid. Funny how her blog didn't really mention that bit much. Not much at all. If a minor celebrity had been abused as a kid then it usually comes out when their career has hit a bit of a slow patch and they need a boost but as Anya is only famous(?) for her blog then it's yet another puzzling element as to why anyone would be interested in her story. Anyhoo, some of her soon to be peers have popped over to her blog to eye up the competition and it has to be said, they ain't trembling in their boots. "... this must be the biggest non-story of the year" "I'll certainly read the book if I get a night off sticking pins in my eyes." "I stopped reading her blog, not only because she hasn't posted much of anything since her book deal, but also because she's become repetitive and quite boring." I think Anya also managed to ruffle a few feathers amongst professional authors by stating "Writing a book can't be that difficult." Yes love, any old Tom, Dick or Anya can knock one out just by staring at trees for a few weeks (or so you are led to believe). That poor ghost writer has their work cut out.

That darned btinternet email address

2006-06-28T21:10:00.000Z

A frequent topic of debate on Wanderingscribe's comments sections (before she shut them down cus the questions were getting too close to the truth) has been Anya's use of the wanderingscribe@btinternet.com email account. Her Sicko-fants have defended the use of it by making up stuff to defend her (as usual) but Anya herself has always made no comment. Indeed, she has rarely, if at all, answered any of the pertinent questions that have been asked about her supposed situation So let's ponder for a few moments on the email address. In one of her earlier posts she mentions that she chose the name to reflect her circumstances. How bizarre. Was she already homeless at that point? I only ask you to consider this because, on the sign up page for a btinternet account, the terms and conditions clearly state "Requires a BT line or similar non cable line." So you have to have a BT line to have a btinternet account. So was Anya homeless when she chose the wanderingscribe moniker to use as her email address? Surely homeless people don't have broadband or even a landline phone? But the terms and conditions on that page state that "All internet calls charges appear on your telephone bill". But where would the bill go to if you didn't have a phone. Which would be in your house. Which you wouldn't have if you were homeless. Now Anya did confess that when she signed on for her benefit, she claimed to be living at an old address (which is benefit fraud) so could she have been using this same old address to maintain a telephone line there? But how did the monthly telephone bill get paid? By Direct debit from her bank account (the same one she recieved her benefits and later, the paypal donations) from? Hmmmm.... I've never been homeless but I'm pretty sure that if I was and I absolutely definitely had to have an email address, I'd have a free one like Hotmail etc. instead of going to the trouble of paying for a telephone line at an old address merely to maintain a suitable email address that I'd thought of before I was homeless. Unless of course it was integral to my cunning plan (© Baldrick) to get a book deal .................. But even then, it doesn't add up. Like so many things in Anya's blog.

Has the drivel stopped?

2006-06-27T20:47:00.000Z

Those of us that may have been hoping that the torrent of tedium had terminated were dismayed to find that, now that Anya has finally unpacked all her bin bags into her bedsit, her blog has a few extra posts of.. well, the usual mix of no info and tons of flowery waffle about nothing in particular. Springing back into life on Sunday, she whined a bit about someone impersonating her (I suspect she means wobblingscruffbag) and then gave a pathetic reason about why she had switched off comments. It was to stop someone impersonating her. Sorry love, run that one by me again! The comments had been moderated since May 6th and she managed to allow all the obsequies posts through whilst removing anything that cast the merest shadow of doubt about her endeavour to get a book deal. Once the book deal had been obtained however and she had found a bedsit, the comments were totally ignored. Even though the only ones that would have appeared would have been those in praise of her and her upturn in fortunes (and based on the previous track record of the sad individuals that thought of her as "one of the family" and "prayed for her", you can bet there would have been several hundred), not one comment was deemed worthy to be published. Perhaps Anya had got what she wanted from the blog and didn't need "the fans" anymore...... But still they wrote ....... Hurling their messages of devotion and everlasting love at Anya's comments box in the vain hope that they would be smiled upon and they'd be able to show to all the world that they hadn't given up. Tsk Tsk.. Such a nuisance for Anya who had better thing to do now (like make Beans on Toast and write about Trees some more). But still they wrote ....... So Anya changed the settings on her blog so that only Team Members could post comments. Except Anya was the only Team Member. Problem solved you'd think. Nobody was worthy to be in Anya's gang. Oh dear... That might be a bit of a PR faux pas when it comes to publishing time. So out came the lame excuse that the comments were turned off because of the "masquerader". That'll stop 'em. errr.. OK. On the plus side though, she won't be distracted anymore so she can turn her mighty intellect to book writing. But let's hope there's a ghost writer involved somewhere or they have decent spell checkers/Grammar checkers at HarperCollins. For someone who is supposedly well educated, the amount of errors creeping into the posts are appalling. Some of you may think I'm being picky but if you aspire to be a writer, surely you should be able to write. And proof read your work. There's no excuse for tardiness. I look forward to her book being reviewed by this site. But then again, Anya isn't that bothered about the little things like attention to detail. It's what has tripped her up time and again in her postings and it's what will be her undoing eventually when (if) she brings her tale to a wider audience. And I'll be right there behind her. I'll be the one saying "No no no, you don't wanna do it like that, you wanna do it like this!".

More review copies printed

2006-06-27T17:18:00.000Z

In an effort to overcome the luke warm reception at the news of Anya Peters forthcoming book, more copies of the first draft have been printed and sent out.

This batch was more warmly received.

Wanderingscribe Abridged (2)

2006-06-27T15:45:00.000Z

I have recieved thousands of emails from people grateful for the first abridged version of Wanderingscribes tedious blog and so offer up the second summary. For the benefit of new readers, I have taken out the introspective 6th form angst riddled clap trap and just present the facts in order that you can quickly get up to speed on what this site is all about. Part one covered events up to the end of May and here's part two. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin ............ June 9 - My neck hurts June 25 - Turned off all comments completely. June 26 - Unpacked. Ate some melon. Opened and closed a desk drawer a few times (seriously) And that's it to date. I'm sure you'll agree it's a piss poor effort but by the time all the waffle is taken out, that's all there is. Perhaps she has a part time job making sandwiches in those crummy back street shops where it's all bread and no meat.

First Review

2006-06-21T17:21:00.000Z

Using my contacts inside the literary world, I have been able to grab a first draft of the forthcoming epic of major proportions by Anya Peters (Wanderingscribe) entitled "Doon the Laneway". As is customery, well known authors are often approached and asked for a comment to add to the book cover and I have also obtained a copy of some of the intial approaches made to authors after they have been sent a review copy of the book. Here are some of the responses that I don't think will be making the cover of Anya's first book. "Anya who?" Stephen King "How did you get this number?" J.K. Rowling "Utter Tosh! ..... My eyes felt like they'd been raped....." Catherine Cookson Maybe with book two then .........

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Sadly it seems that Anya's nomination in the NewStatesman' s New Media Award 2006 failed to make an impact on the judges. Despite mustering all her talents to pour out her heart and soul in an effort to reach out to others, she was beaten by a site that slags off Tony Blair and a Youth Club of 11-25 year olds. Will this further indication that she has absolutely no talent, thwart our heroine of the laneways in her efforts to get that book foisted on an undeserving public? We can only hope ..........

The Critics Speak

2006-06-16T20:16:00.000Z

Now that Anya has secured her book deal through subterfuge and downright lying, she'll have to face the beady eye of the critics. Not the fawning muppets who have been fooled into singing her praises via the comments section (until even Anya got sick of them and refused to moderate any more) but the real life ones. As the promosed book is still quite a way off, they have taken a sneaky peaky at Anya's work so far and viewed her blog. Oh dear .... The Book Trust posts info about books to be released in the near future and they have taken the time to posts some of the comments that viewers of the BBC article posted (presumably they were too busy to actually visit the Wanderingscribe blog or they just couldn't care). The comments ranged from "heartwarming" and "wonderful" to "totally not interested" and "this deal makes me sick". Meanwhile, over at The Friday Project they have taken the time to read the blog. Well, some of it as their stomachs weren't strong enouigh to face the sheer avalanche of peurile prose. They do seem to have a grasp of the subject matter though as they surmise that the blog was the resut of several factors:

Anya's miserable childhood (You are nothing these days if you didn't have one of those or were abused as a child (but I suspect the abuse bit will be saved for book two))
Her relationship problems.
Her financial problems.
Her mental breakdown.

Pssst Guys, you forgot the No. 1 reason which was her desire to get a book deal They continue "Wandering Scribe actually becomes quite exhausting to read after a bit, because of all the wonderment and beauty and deep thoughts. And prose that's straight out of the Self Help section of Waterstones". They even have a view of the comments posted by her sicko-fants: Sadly, even if you're a fairly sympathetic person, reading this glurge starts to turn you into Norman Tebbit. I wonder if her agent has pointed this out and that's the reason why no more sickly lovey dovey comments have been approved by Anya? Not to worry Anya Fans, as soon as she starts her promotion of the book, you can bet that those comments will be opened up to the faithful and the foolish once more. The Friday Project conclude by stating that they "think the book will be a roaring success - certainly amongst people who can only relate to the world through vague, solipsistic emotional rambling, online support networks, crap New Age poetry and self-help platitudes." Uh huh ... But once all of Anya's 40 or so Sicko-fants have bought the book, who will buy it then?

Wanderingscribe - First Pictures

2006-06-16T15:02:00.000Z

I have been sent the first known pictures of Anya by a source who wishes to remain anonymous. As I have chosen to keep the comments section on my blog open to anonymous posters, it also makes sense that kindly folks would request the same privelege when sending emails to me.

Wanderingscribe aka Anya Peters

Now that we have a visual reference, I have managed to track down some more pics of Anya as she went about her daily business, after all, England has more coverage of CCTV cameras than any other country so it's obvious that, no matter how anonymous you'd like to be, you will be caught on camera many times a day. Here's Anya before she could afford the luxury of a car and had to live in a bin for a while. Even when she had managed to get a car to live in, there were times when she had to relinquish this hold on luxury living for a while (for example, when the car needed servicing by one of Londons top Rover dealers) but luckily the dealer had alternative accomodation that Anya could use. Here she is settling down for the evening, once again, cherishing her anonymity. As regular readers of her blog will know (this was back when she actually posted events rather than gubbins about trees, fairies and angels etc), Anya had to take her clothes to local churches and hospitals to get them ironed. In this pic, she was captured on the way to a heavy ironing session. Of course, at some point, Anya would have become aware of the paparazzi's interest in her as an upcoming budding authoress and so, using her intelligence, she devised a way to stay anonymous and maintain her daily lifestyle without arousing anyones suspicions. Thus she was able to move about the people of London in complete anonymity as she scurried back and forth twixt the laneway and the various libraries that she frequented.

Have you spotted Wanderingscribe?

If you spot our "Heroine of the Laneways" as she goes about her daily business, try and grab a snap with your mobile phone or Camera so that we can post them here. As she herself is far to busy watching Big Brother and eating Beans on Toast to update her blog, her fans will be clamouring for news so you will be doing a public service that will be appreciated by Billions across the Globe.

Book Titles

2006-06-14T17:57:00.000Z

Whilst we wait for the next exciting episode of "Doon The Laneway", I have been thinking about writing a book of my own so that I too can get a bedsit in London with noisy neighbours (hey, we can all chase our dreams !!). I might start off with a childrens book as any muppet can write those. You don't even need any experience (am I right, Madonna?) . Anyhoo ........ I have been working on the title first as it's important to capture the publics imagination right from the start. Here's some that have made my shortlist. 1. Strangers have the best sweeties 2. Some Kittens can fly !! 3. Katy was so bad her mommy stopped loving her 4. A Kids Guide to Hitchhiking 5. Pop! Goes the Hamster (and other Microwave Games) 6. Curious George and the Electric Fence 7. Controlling the layground: Respect through Fear 8. Mommy drinks because you cry 9. Huffin' and Puffin': Fun with Aerosols 10. Granny gets a Coffin I could be onto a winner here. Throw in a few illustrations and some yadda yadda kiddy phrases and it's money for old rope..........

More Wanderingscribe Crap

2006-06-13T22:45:00.000Z

Although Anya Peters has now apparently ditched all her fans, some of the most dedicated sycophants still continue to defend her actions, including abandoning the blog that gained her the much sought after book deal, in the first place. As Anya has not deigned to answer (or even acknowledge) any queries as to her motives or reasons for posting such blatant lies, her loyal fans have rushed to defend her actions on various blogs Although the questions have been asked in an intelligent and non threatening manner, the answers recieved have been formulaic and even answered in Anyas' own style (of not actually providing an answer). Here's a few gems ................. Do not expect WS “to offer up any explanations”. She has more important things to do these days! Besides, why should she? Okie dokie. The "fans" that gave her the publicity she so brazenly craved deserve no recognition or respect at all. We can all live we that, can't we folks. After all, she didn't write the blog for self publicity. Oh wait ........ Spookily enough, no comments have been approved by Anya since she confessed to having got a place to stay. Could our "inside scoop" be close to the truth that Anya doesn't actually give a shit about all those that supported her, now that she has achieved the holy grail of the book deal? The question is asked "Likewise, how many of us have had the misfortune to go looking for a shower block in hospitals you can just walk into? Her sycophant fans answer "Why do you say, ”showers in wards” ? WS never said this! Umm.. I think someone is reading what they want to. Especially perplexing as they answer the (non asked) question about "showers in wards" (and I for one have never ever seen a shower in a ward) immediately after quoting the question. Must have been to the same School of Bullshit as Anya and expects readers to be of similar intellligence as themselves. Who ever said anything about WS using computers in internet cafes? WS never said that she has to pay for internet access. Ummm... Check out the post of February 12th where she says "checked website in cafe yesterday". So that would be your average greasy spoon cafe would it. Or perhaps an internet café. Where they charge for access to the internet. I could go on but to be honest, there's just pages and pages of bullshit from someone who is making up the answers to non existant questions themselves and has no insider scoop on the reasons behind the con. Anya herself has not answered so it's all conjecture and supposition on the part of her "fans". One must start to wonder whether Anya must be wishing they'd just shut the f@~# up as they are creating more problems that solving with their supposition and "answering by proxy". Piece by piece the fans unravel the web of deceipt without any help from us cynics......................

Whither shall we wander .....

2006-06-12T19:25:00.000Z

Now that Anya has shown her true colours and turned her back on all her fans, whatever will they do for comfort on the net? How will they pass their time now that they cannot fawn and simper over their Laneway Loser? Fear not, for I have come to the rescue and present: Bigger wastes of time than Wanderingscribes Site Falling Sand It's so pretty ........ Subservient Chicken Dance Chicken, for I am your master! Mwuuhaahhaahaaa..... Put stuff on a cat Who doesn't like putting stuff on cats? Certainly no normal people !! Spirograph Pointless pointless pointless The Dialectizer Translate text or web pages into "Swedish Chef", Jive, Redneck, etc. Don't shoot the puppy Awwwww.. The likkle puppy is soo cute. Especially when we blow his brains out !! Things in Rubber Got something? Anything at all? Then put it in rubber and send a pic in for everyone to enjoy. Headphone Fetish Who needs porn when we have pictures of people wearing headphones. Hundreds of 'em. It makes me feel verty dirty and very naughty !! World Mouseclicking Competition That's all ya gotta do. Even Wanderingscribe fans should be able to do this one. See if you can beat my personal best of 89. Oklahoma Shootout What could be better than teaching a 4 year old how to use a fully automatic machine gun or watch moms with RPG's!! Yessirree, It's a fun day for the whole family! Cloudbusting Dunno why but theme tune for this reminds me of Steptoe and Son. Pretty Colours Soooo many pretty colours ........... Will Wanderingscribe ever return to us? Will we ever care now that we have more interesting things to do on the internet? Let's hope not.

Moan moan and thrice moan .......

2006-06-09T14:23:00.000Z

In her post of today (Friday 9th June) Anya finally gets off her arse and lets us know what's happening. Except she doesn't. Whilst acknowledging that she has treated her fans like shit by not telling them what's going on, she then proceeds to moan about how hard her life is adjusting as she's forgotten how to hang clothes up, eat with knives and forks (I never realised she had turned feral) and just whines about how every key tap is agony on her poor neck. So she can't tell us what's going on because of the pain. But she manages the 500 word explanation of how she's in pain well enough. Poor poor thing. Yes she has a place to live but life is still hard for her. Good job too, otherwise the fans would have to think of some other reason to keep "routing" (or as we in England say, rooting) for her. And is it just me or is the standard of English grammar plummeting of late on her site? That's what watching Big Brother will do for ya. Still it was good of her to force herself to watch Big Brother to "re-socialise" (whatever the hell that means). If she thinks that the freak show on Channel 4 is a measure of how you behave in company then her mental state is even more fragile than we first thought Once again then, we are treated to a post that contains zero news. Just like countless others in the past where she "couldn't say anything just yet but would soon". Hang on! Hmmm.. deja vú or what !!!!

Where is she now?

2006-06-08T16:45:00.000Z

The Sick-fantics must be beside themselves with grief now that Anya has moved into her bedsit and is too busy to update her blog. In fact, she's even too busy to moderate her comments and approve all the wishes of good luck etc. that are surely backing up. But what is the exact reason for abandoning her fans? Could it be that she has finally got her hands on some cash (I mean even more than she conned people out of via Paypal) and is now spending all her time getting sloshed with her new found literary pals? Or, by some quirk of fate, did she move into a nice quiet bedsit for only a few days before the Police came charging in at 4AM and shot her neighbours and she's still held in a Police Station under Anti-Terrorist laws? Or is it merely that the blog has served it's purpose and now that she has the book deal, she just can't be arsed communicating with the simple minded riff raff that put her where she is today (until it's time for some promotional work)? But where is she? Where has fate (and the angels, fairies and of course, the prized book deal) placed her? Last we saw, it was sharing a bedsit with some loud Drum and Bass fans. Ahh. the high life of those literary genius's eh ...................

Doon the Laneway - Part One

2006-06-06T06:05:00.000Z

I have been lucky enough to secure a draft copy of Wanderingscribes supernatural love story set on a Scottish island that she had locked away in her boot for so many months. As her fans will be eager for any news (especially as she appears to have given up with the blog now that it has served its purpose), I present this small snippet , exclusively for your delight and delectation. Enjoy. Doon The Laneway The last rays of a golden sun were slipping below the horizon casting long shadows across the fields as wee Hamish McScribe made his way doon the laneway. "Mebbe tonight I'll find the lassie o my dreams" he thought to himself, fidling with his sporran in anticipation. His thoughts were interrupted as he drew level with the battered old rover parked in the woods, the home of Mad Hag, a homeless sassenach who had moved to the village of Dunworkin many months ago. Although she was mostly harmless, she had a tendency to dance naked in the moonlight and sing to imaginary angels that danced around her car. As he went to walk by, his ears caught a muffled sound coming from within. He peered through the grimy windows that were starved of colour. Inside, oblivious to her surroundings, Mad Hag scribbled furiously in an old exercise book she carried everywhere. As his eye was caught by the sun glinting off the thin sliver of saliva that drooled from the side of her mouth, Hamish felt a pang of pity for this poor creature. As she rocked back and forth, softly crooning to herself, Hamish could just make out the odd phrase. "They loved me... they worshipped me... you'll see.. soon get that deal...Oh yes, I'll show 'em..." He turned and stole quietly away down the laneway, shaking his head at the poor wretch. "Och, the things ye see when ye havenae got a gun" he thought to himself........ Hurrying across the grey granite car park of The Happy Haggis Inn, Hamish burst through the door and closed it behind him, denying access to the howling wind. "Hoots mon, it's blowing a right gale ootside and no mistake" he muttered to the assembled crowd as his eyes became accustomed to the low light in the small bar. Glancing around, he could make out the usual figures of Jock McSporran and his wife, Mags, seated in a cosy nook. Jock raised his glass in greeting as Hamish made his way to the bar, his shadow dancing in the glow that the candles positioned all about gave out "Hoos it goin’, wee Hamish" Jock exclaimed warmly. "Aye, just fine" Hamish replied. "It fair blew me kilt off oot there though" Jock smiled warmly as he raised the glass to his lips. "Aye, it's no a night to be oot and aboot". Approaching the bar, Hamish was surprised to see the landlord, Donald McPorridge, clad only in tartan underpants and a feather boa. "Donald, where's ya troosers?" Hamish enquired. "Did ye no hear? We're expecting a guest from the big city presently. I thought I'd add a touch of cosmopolitan sophistication to the place." Hamish looked at him quizzically. "Wi no breeks?" "Aye" replied Donald as he began to pour a pint of Hamish's usual tipple, Cockaleekie Ale. "I heard that they've bottomless bars doon in London and as oor guest is frae them parts I thought I'd dress to make her welcome". "Who are ye expecting then?" Although the only other inhabitants of the bar were Jock and Mags, Donald leaned forward conspiratorially and whispered "Some big literary agent by the name o' Cowmilly Triang". Hamish took his pint, raised it to his lips and took a sip. The nearest hotel was 50 miles away so any visitors to the district were usually put up by Donald in a small room he kept above the bar. "So what's she doing coming to Dunworkin?" "She's interested in yon lassie that lives oot her car doon the laneway" Donald replied as he twiddled with his boa in a slightly effeminate way. "Mad Hag?, But why would someone want to talk to her?" "It seems like she's been keepin' some sort of diary and they want to make a book o' it" replied Donald. As he took his seat across the way from Jock and Mags, he pondered on the little he knew of Mad Hag. She'd appeared in the village a few months back, parking her car behind the towns chemical toilet plant and had kept herself to herself, only taking the odd trip to the village's small library now and then. As he sipped his pint of Cockaleekie, Hamish's mind wandered back to his run in with Mad Hag earlier in the evening and the exciting news that the village would shortly be receiving yet another visitor. "Hey Donald, when’s yon visitor due?" he shouted across the bar. "Anytime the noo" replied Donald. As if on cue, a pair of headlights swept across the windows as a car pulled into the car park. All the inhabitants of the bar looked at each other in turn as the sound of a door being closed preceded footsteps. The footsteps stopped at the door for what seemed like an eternity but was in fact, just a few seconds, long enough for all eyes to fall on the handle as it turned with a creak and the door was pushed open. The howling wind sent the candles in the bar fluttering wildly as the tall figure stepped into the room. Is the mysterious visitor the agent from London? Why does Donald look so comfortable in his skimpy attire? What is Mad Hags secret that drove her to Dunworkin? Stay tuned for the next exciting excerpt from "Doon the Laneway" .......

Wanderingscribe speaks

2006-06-03T20:47:00.000Z

How lovely. It appears Anya has heard about this little old blog and deigned to visit and leave a few words of encouragement. wanderingscribe said... Keep messing with me and you're going to regret it. Do you understand bastard? Saturday, June 03, 2006 7:44:07 PM Is that the sort of language that we can expect in the forthcoming epic of one poor lonely defenceless woman who's trying to maintain a low profile? Is that how she address's everyone now that she has got the book deal she set out to get, all those months ago? No more the shy woman shunning strangers. No more the "invisible" homeless person. I think we are seeing the real person behind the facade at last. Vindication is mine ! It didn't take long, did it folks...............

Care in the (online) Community

2006-06-01T18:27:00.000Z

Once the comments on wanderingscribes site became moderated, only the sugary sweet fawning ones were allowed on. They do however give a fascinating insight into the kind of person that swallows the kind of poppycock that has become Anya's stock in trade. See what you deduce of people who would post the following (all genuine) comments on someone’s blog whom they have never met. “i'm happy for you. fellow human called rob.” I like the fact that he wanted to clarify his species ”yay!” *blows little party horn thing* It’s hard to believe that it’s adults posting this stuff sometimes. *bouncebouncebounce* ”YAY! What do you want? I said I'd get you something nice when you got a place, what would you like?” I think the medical staff should be alerted that her restraints have come loose. “Soon, more writings begin!!! All the culminations shall be in one book. Please put your poetry in the book. They are melodic as your writings.” See. Even Yoda reads this stuff! “I'm a 25 year old rufty tufty Northern bloke, Your writing made me cry - both the highs and the lows.” What a right Jessie ! I wonder if his mates know how “sensitive” he is. I must redefine "Rufty Tufty" in my personal dictionary. “Really,really,really,really glad for you!!!!!” I don’t know why but I’m getting a mental picture of this one dry humping someone’s leg when they meet. DOWN BOY !! "I forgot to say the quill expresses your romantic side. If you need a verbal hug or anything, you know where to find me." If only we knew where to find him. “Well, I really like reading all your posts. I'm also trying to find a place to live as well since the dr will release me from the hospital this Friday after spending almost 3 months here.” Nurse!! She’s got completely free of the restraints now!! “I remember when I got my first flat on my own, once I was moved in I locked the door, drew the curtains, and danced around naked singing "this is mine, this is mine, and this is mine, and this is mine..." It was ace.” And of course we all behave like this. Or would it just be the kind of people who are drawn to Wanderingscribe? “I have laughed and cried with you all the way through this amazing adventure of yours.” Me too. Hold on. I meant shook my head in disbelief and incredulity at the shallowness of it all. “I think in some ways your laneway has become a kind of sanctuary for many of us.” Hmmm. Me too. In fact, I’ve booked next year’s caravan holiday there. I’m hoping to attend the awards ceremony when they erect one of those blue plaques. “I've had the experience of sleeping in a car, you were able to write it. Especially the desire to stretch out in the grass, barefoot, the fear... I keep asking the doubters how one might fake that if one has never experienced it.” That would be the thing one calls imagination. (I don’t think he goes out much). As I'm sure you know, the meaning of 'angel' is divine messenger. So, one stands by the bed of the fellow in New York, and in a whisper, delivers the message that God wants him to write about why some people have been living in their cars-he wakes thinking of it...earlier, one stood next to you, telling you that the best way to figure all of this out is to write it down... This is just spooky. That very same angel told me that this was a pile of horse doodoo’s and to start a blog exposing her. He was a bit two faced, wasn’t he dear readers. I'm sorry folks but after reading so much drivel I slipped into a diabetic coma for a while but I'm fine now. The doctor just told me to avoid high levels of saccharin for a while.

Harper Collins - They know good words what are wroted

2006-05-31T22:24:00.000Z

As has been pointed out in the comments section of this Blog, the mugs that have agreed to publish Anya's book (about her quest to get a book published) seem to have a poor grasp of the English language. A page on their site dedicated to the upcoming author has the following passage. So, what will the book be about? Well, no one just ends up living in a car in a laneway, every story has its backstory, and this book ill tell mine about my life growing up, and the parallels with now. Because I have had many privileges along the way, lived a life very different to the one here in the laneway but sometimes, looking back, it feels like I have been homeless always. Is that good English? Is that the standard that we can expect from the epic? I think we can garner a clue from the fact that they also have Jade Goody on their books. Looks like a match made in Heaven.

Wanderingscribe - Abridged

2006-05-31T17:58:00.000Z

For those of you who are discovering this blog (and related ones) and wandering what all the fuss is about, there can be an awful lot of waffle to read. In fact, the main selling point about wanderingscribes blog is the sheer amount of waffle that one has to wade through. I therefore present an abridged version of her blog. Bear in mind that there were some posts that contained absolutely no news at all. Just 100% waffle. Wanderingscribe Abridged May 31 - Got a Bedsit. Made Beans on Toast. May 26 - Waffle May 22 - Looking for a place to live. Did an interview. May 17 - Got a book deal. May 15 - Waffle May 13 - Waffle May 10 - Waffle May 07 - Been to some meetings May 06 - Took down PayPal button. Switched comments to moderated. Got an agent. May 03 - Waffle April 29 - Waffle April 28 - Waffle April 27 - Read some emails. April 25 - Read lots of comments on the blog. April 22 - Did some washing. Had a shower and a cup of tea. April 20 - Waffle April 15 - Went to church. Saw an old friend. Thought about getting therapy. April 11 - Waffle April 10 - Nearly asked for a job in a fairground. But didn’t. April 08 - Did some ironing in the hospital April 06 - Waffle April 05 - Visited a library. April 03 - Added the PayPal button. April 02 - Added NYT audio link to blog April 01 - Waffle It's riveting stuff. I can understand why publishers were fighting over the rights. More details as they happen .........

BBC Bias

2006-05-31T15:40:00.000Z

The latest advert for Wanderingscribe appeared on the BBC site today and, after reading it, appears to have been written by one of Anya's fans. Or someone in the employ of her agent. One would expect a certain standard from the BBC and yet, sentences such as; "Even if the book becomes a top 10 chart topper, for a hardback that can mean only selling five hundred copies a week - while the Wandering Scribe blog has averaged 11,000 readers per week since March." do not make grammatical sense. In fact, the whole article sings the praises of "the nations favourite" with no mention at all of the growing number of detractors. (hardly balanced reporting there then). New visitors to her blog (and the BBC article kindly provided a link) will get the sugary sweet version of events via her comments as all the doubters posts have been wiped clean. The (unverified) visitor figures also add to the hype that is taking place to promote the author and her blog. You can't buy publicity like that. Unless you have; 1. An angle. 2. An agent. Yup, she's got them alright. I think a place to live, a job etc. were well down the checklist. Seems like that internet self promotion blog was a good idea after all. Using the internet to promote artists surruptiously has been going on for years with an article in The Guardian detailing the latest scam to be uncovered concerning Sandi Thom. I say the latest because, as of yet, nobody (who can bring the story to a wider audience) has made the link between Anya's blog and her ruthless desire to get a book deal no matter what. Perhaps Anya will even be getting angry at herself. Why? I hear you ask (I have excellent hearing). Here's a snippet from her entry of 9th Feb. I thought about the Observer article I had read about DM, and his being a poster boy for some kind of media-created movement. And the more I thought, the more it seemed likely that this person, whose number one dream in life had probably not always been to be a writer, and who was also not technically homeless as such, might actually be getting a book deal out of this, the more angry I became. Uhuh .... we know how you feel Anya........

Has WS already reached "Michael Jackson" status?

2006-05-30T06:22:00.000Z

As regular readers will be aware, the latest batch of sugary sweet glowing praise type comments has appeared on the WS site. But with all comments being moderated, the timing is even more suspicious than usual. Added on a Bank Holiday Monday when all Library's are definitely closed (for the benefit of my international readers, a Bank Holiday is a public holiday when most of jolly Old England shuts down), it would suggest that WS no longer relies on public internet access to maintain her blog. Has her agent found her a place to live at last? Has our heroine succumbed to peer pressure and spent her paypal windfall on a place to rest her weary head? Naturally she'll keep her fans informed. Maybe a few months after the event though, as it would spoil a good story. Who'd want to read the blog of a homeless woman who wasn't homeless? Thatwould make her ....errr... nothing special really. Shhhh.. I'd love to tell you more but I'm afraid I can't just yet. The fairies that dance with the angels around my car in the moonlight told me not to..... :)

What's the book about?

2006-05-30T06:03:00.000Z

Yet another anonymous comment posted on the WS site has put forward a suggestion for the forthcoming epic. "Rosemary" writes; Hey WS, Just a thought but couldn't your book be a whole bunch of blogger entries? Just like you've written here but started long before you actually wrote them down on blogger? XOXO Rosemary What did she think it was going to be about?????? Needlepoint in the 18th Century? Surely the book wouldn't be about her experiences in trying to get a book deal, errrrr... I mean living rough in a car, would it? After all, the blog was written purely for personal reasons. Which is why she advertised it on writers forums. And the BBC. And the New York Times. And got one of her cronies to nominate her blog for a publishing award. Yup, deep personal reasons .......... Should this future classic ever reach the stage of being printed then some advice from one of her fans who is already a published author paints a realistic picture of events to come. Debi Alpers website details the likely timeline for aspiring authors and states that it would probably take 3 or 4 books before an author starts to become recognised (I mean by the literary world, not down the local launderette). I can see this being a dilemna for WS. Let's imagine that book 1 is indeed about her experiences so fancifully described on her blog. What would book 2 be about then? Surely she can't become homeless again? Perhaps she'll follow book 1 up with a volume detailing all the nice letters of praise she gets for publishing her book (because as we know, nobody ever ever writes anything nasty on her comments section). So then we'd come to book 3. Hmmmm... Gonna struggle with this one. Howsabout a blog inspired book about her struggle to be recognised as a serious writer who pulled herself up from the gutter of the laneways of England despite terrific odds and numerous nay sayers? Whoops. Can't do that one cus it will be acknowledging that there were some who had doubts etc. Blimey, this book writing malarkey may prove trickier than she first thought. I wonder if Debi Alper would advise spending the advance fee for her book deal on a camper van. Just in case ............

Angels? Or men in white coats?

2006-05-26T19:08:00.000Z

The latest post from Wanderingscribe is, for me, a revelation. The author is obviously taking note of the articles and comments on this and other sites and realises that "the jig is up". Why else would they reuse "laneways" a number of times (a quirk mentioned numerous times in comments as not being a normal phrase) and waffle about angels etc? Quite what any book publisher would make of the mental state of someone indulging in such erratic behaviour is beyond comprehension. But it matters not. Because, and I find myself repeating this with frightening regularity, surely even her most ardent fans must be thinking to themselves "she's lost the plot !" The posts are now almost becoming an over the top parody of themselves. Is she destined to disappear inside her own 6th form angst riddled poetry? Or will the curtain be pulled back to reveal the truth?

The Unknown Phenomenon

2006-05-25T21:24:00.000Z

I was doing a bit of wandering myself today around the fair city of Cardiff and stopped for a bit of Welsh Bread and a cup of char in a local café. Being a friendly sort, I started a conversation with a chap on the next table, eager to gain the views of the ordinary man on the street about the literary phenomenon known as Wanderingscribe. Imagine my disbelief when he said "Who?" Obviously he must have just been rescued after some obscure pit cave in and had spent the previous 4 months underground. However..... I asked another person in Waterstones about the forthcoming epic novel by WS and she also said "Who?" How is it possible that there are people in the world who have been deprived of the words of wisdom that fall like manna from heaven onto our PC screens courtesy of WS? So off I went to check on the posts and comments on her site and I made a startling discovery. Not including anonymous posts (cus I suspect quite a few have been made by WS herself to "boost the figures"), no more than approx. 40 people have heard of Wanderingscribe. In the World !! The facts (as usual) are there for you to check out if you so desire. Looks like those Book Sales may not quite reach the dizzy heights of triple figures for quite a while yet. At least she’ll have a baby named after her though, according to her latest ardent fan (See Below) But I suspect that Dark Forces are at work here in an attempt to see just how wacky and zany a post they can get past the eagle eye of the moderator in the name of false praise. Do you believe it? Really and truly? If so then I have some Snake Oil going cheap ……….. Wanderingscribe's Tribute Baby A comment posted on 25th May is worthy of a mention here (before she "susses" it and/or it gets deleted). R & C said... Scribe, We have decided to call our unborn daughter Anya Scribe-Jones. She's due in 2 weeks time. Bless you and your lovely blog. Rory & Claire Jones PS Theres always a welcome in Bristol for you. Priceless. :) I almost expected it to be signed "John and Jane Doe".

Crank up the PR Machine

2006-05-23T22:48:00.000Z

Before Anya engaged an agent (which happened just after her BBC interview was published on April 24th) she was still desperately trying to drum up interest in her blog (don't forget, it was a personal thing). Posting on The Guardian on April 6th she commented:

I think supplements in bread, for those who can't afford them and might benefit nutritionally from the addition is a good idea. There should of course be choice, so not all bread/foodstuff, so that people could vote with their feet. Personally I would use it right now, because I am in extraordinary circumstances, living in my car, on an extremely tight budget (see my blog:http:wanderingscribe.blogspot.com) and cannot afford all the supplements I might need. Posted by W. Scribe on April 6, 2006 09:31 AM.

Oh my! What an amazing touching story. What current hot topic will she think of next to comment on (with a link to her site, naturally)?

Immigration I feel sorry for Asylum Seekers but although I am homeless at least I have my car to live in. Read my amazing story on my blog at blah de blah ....

The World Cup I feel sorry for the fans who won't be able to get hotel rooms because, although I am homeless I have somewhere to stay. My Car. Read my amazing story on my blog at blah de blah ....

Special Constable Murder to appear on Crimewatch Like many Londoners, I was appalled at the recent murder of a special constable on her own doorstep. But at least she had a doorstep whereas I live in my Car. Read my amazing story on my blog at blah de blah .... As her legion of fans appear to have run out of superlatives to describe their leaders list of qualities (you forgot "God Like" folks), they have turned to emulating Anya in everything she does in the hope that they will be smiled upon and, who knows, even get a mention in the forthcoming book. Here's a post from April 27th, also on The Guardian:

When you are homeless you need to plan a life. Cities are in many ways good for homeless people. They concentrate more services and opportunities in one place. One can remain anonymous and live alternative lives. So here's to cities and the memory of those who plan them. billdyke.blogspot.com The Streets of Amsterdam inspired by wanderingscribe.blogspot.com Posted by BillDyke on April 27, 2006 06:12 PM.

Anya truly is an inspiration, even garnering a mention on Madmums.com, a site for pregnant mothers (!?!). Such a shame that she can't silence ALL her critics (like she does on the comments section of her blog). Even the BBC article which eventually gained her the recognition she sought brought forth comments such as : If all this is true, and I'm yet to be convinced, I think it's a load of self-indulgent claptrap. There is plenty of government and private help available to this person, both medical and financial. But if she chooses not to take it, spending time to set up and maintain a blog instead, and then cry about it, then good luck. You have to question this person's priorities. Come on people, assuming this person really does live in a car, this is clearly a middle class stunt by someone who probably has a Visa or Amex card in the glove box, just in case. Stuart, Ipswich It seems to me a sad indictment of our shallow, media-obsessed age that somebody like this should think it a more worthwhile use of their time and effort to write a "blog" than to try and sort themselves out by making social contacts and efforts to get housing. Bertie, Stockport I am very sceptical about this story. I think it is a media stunt. Very clever, but not clever enough. Kathryne, Berkshire Perhaps her agent will get those comments deleted from the BBC site too. After all, we can't have the facts getting in the way of this heart warming story, can we ...........

Lies, Lies and damned stats

2006-05-23T16:09:00.000Z

Whilst carrying out a statistical analysis of wanderingscribes site ( I know, it's dirty work but someone has to do it), yet even more revelations hove into view. February and March saw an average of 4 or 5 posts per day, even after her attempt to boost readership by making contact with a complete stranger (who just happened to be homeless and had a blog) and posting on his blog to draw the punters in. Sadly this wasn't the big draw she was hoping for and it wasn't until the interview with the BBC and the NYT that the comments rocketed. Up from an average of 8 or 9 for the first half of April to a new average of 200. Waahaay! This'll get her the celebrity status she needs ! Unfortunately, this level of interest also brought in the doubters and nay sayers. Although the number of comments had increased to what Wanderingscribe presumably thought was an acceptable level, the amount of negative comments were starting to be a bit of a PR nightmare. So the comments were switched off. However, WS decided that the people should have a voice after all and switched them back on. But with all posts being moderated first. As any post showing the slightest doubt or asking any awkward questions were not now appearing on the site, the comments post count fell dramatically to an average of 50 per blog entry. Just think about those figures for a moment. (But if you want to check 'em I'd suggest you do so fast before The Phantom Deleter makes even more editorial cutbacks to remove any shred of doubt from anyone. Ever!) This means that an average of 75% of posts were either asking awkward or pertinent questions that WS preferred to ignore or else they were doubters expressing their disbelief that the whole blog was in fact, real. Sadly, for WS at least, the highs of the circa 200 comments per blog post are now behind her for now. What is a girl to do ......... STOP THE PRESS!! Although meeting up with another blogger to spread the word of her plight didn't get the results she wanted, what did work was the interview with the press. I Don't believe it !! Today's post mentions "Have also done another interview...." What Luck !! Come on folks. Even some of her most ardent followers must be sitting there by now and thinking to themselves, "Hang on a minute...." Or is it just me ......

Did I mention my book?

2006-05-19T20:01:00.000Z

Whilst the whole point of Anya's blog has been transparent for quite a few readers, she herself gave a clue right back in the very first days. An entry for February 9th mentions; "..the unfinished novel I have in a box in the boot... So of course I had dreamt in the past of getting a book published" Hmmm.. could this be the reason d'etre for the whole blog? Well, posting on a writers site to advertise her own blog would seem to back it up. And readers wouldn't just happen upon her blog by typing random names into their address bar. Perhaps a little self promotion was called for, despite her blog supposedly being "a very personal affair". Luckily fate smiles on our wannabe authoress and she finds someone else living in woods who also keeps a blog. SACRE BLEU !! What are the chances ??? Now don't forget, her blog entries are full of how she shies away from people and yet, before she has honed this feature into her blog writing to emphasise the loneliness she feels, here she is emailing complete strangers who live rough and even meeting them. "A guy called Hugh also has a blog.... I emailed him. We met and kept in contact by email and although he is not supporting homelessness issues as such, this week he allowed me to post in his blog." I've always suspected that homeless people all over the country were emailing each other all the time and now I find it's true! (21st Century Tramps, eh! Cuh !!) No mention of why she had to post on Hugh's blog when she already has one of her own though, but hey, there's no such thing as bad publicity, right? I'm sure the post on Hughs' site did Anya’s own blog no harm in the publicity stakes either. But that probably wasn't the reason for getting in touch. Oh no. Probably just wanted to swap Nettle Stinger Soup recipes or suchlike. Like homeless people do.

Sicko-Fan-Tics

2006-05-18T19:49:00.000Z

Although the web is an impersonal place, many folks feel as though they have connected with someone because they have read something on their PC screen. Indeed, dating agencies, chat rooms etc. all encourage this behaviour in users. Is it so strange therefore that people should consider themselves part of a "family" because they read a blog? YES !! For Gods Sake, People, it's not real. Your family are people you share real life experiences with, not some words on a screen. The current explosion in internet access and use is bringing about a new phenomenon whereby people are losing perspective on what's real and what's in cyber space. Hence we see thousands of people logging into a memorial web site ( http://www.myspace.com/loving_memory_anna ) for some American teenager that was killed and pouring their cyber hearts out in an attempt to show that, although they never knew the girl involved, they are suffering grief. More grief than everyone else that's posted. Because that's what it's all about. Showing that you care more than everyone else does. The phrase "Mourning Sickness" sums it up quite nicely. Which leads us neatly onto the comments on the WS blog. If you suffer from diabetes then you would be best avoiding them because they contain such sickly sweet mush that your teeth crinkle just to read them, especially as WS now censors any comments that don't toe the party line. What (supposedly) adult people would read someones blog and then post comments like; "I'm glad that your beautiful mind is saved." "How great are you?...really great" "You are at the center and we are your friends visiting you in your virtual home" "Yours is a sweet soul" It's scary that these people have access to electricity, never mind the internet!! If this is a realistic cross section of society then I'm on the worng planet.

Censored Comments

2006-05-18T19:29:00.000Z

In the beginning there was a blog. And WS saw the blog was good and spread the word and the fans came and said nice things. Then some people asked questions. But the fans answered on her behalf for they were believers. And then came doubters who poured scorn. And the fans answered on her behalf for they were believers. But WS saw that the questions and the points raised by the doubters were making uncomfortable reading. This was supposed to be a place of worship after all. A place where WS could highlight her plight as an unpublished author, errrr, homeless person. And so the comments were turned off. But lo! WS could no longer bask in the glowing praise of strangers from around the world. And so the comments were restored. But moderated. Not just for language but also for uncomfortable questions. And lo! the fans could once more pay homage to their new found "family" and WS could bask in the glory of her loyal subjects. No nasty language. No uncomfortable questions. Just praise. Lots of sugary sweet praise. Bizarrely, some of the earlier questions and doubts about the authenticity of the authors’ predicament have been deleted too. I'm sure it's just an administrative error.

A Book? Quel Surprise

2006-05-18T19:15:00.000Z

Now that (GASP! SHOCK! WHAT A SURPRISE !!) the truth is out and WS has declared to her legions of fans confirmation that a book is to be produced, some more questions arise.

How many authors are commisioned to write a book without any previous experience?
How many authors actually write books and then spend many months getting their agents to submit them to publishers in the hope of them being accepted?
What's WS's book about?

Surely it can't be about her experiences in being homeless because, after all, she clearly stated after she had engaged her agent "I didn't write it (the blog) for you and I didn't write it for the media". So that's that cleared up then. I wonder what the book will be about? I wonder which publishers have commisioned a book by an unproven author which hasn't even been written yet? I wonder if it's yet more donkey poop. (Apologies to any donkeys' reading this).

Paypal? YES PLEASE !!

2006-05-18T18:55:00.000Z

Reluctantly (ooooooookay) WS was cajoled into putting a Paypal button on her blog so that people could donate money. Unfortunately, this gave even more visitors to the site reason to doubt the integrity of the author. WS herself even stated that the combined amount had become sufficient to afford a deposit and a few months rent on a place in London. At todays rates, that would surely equate to several thousand pounds at least ! This latest twist hit an unexpected snag when it was pointed out that she was actually committing fraud by not declaring it when she signed on for her benefits (we won't mention the fraud already being commited by her stating she was living at a previous address to claim benefits she was not entitled to). Once again, her sycophantic "fans" rush to her rescue and provide some "yeah but no but yeah but..." excuses, including "The PayPal donations are gifts and unsolicited - the button was placed at the request of others - and therefore not of concern to the DSS or subject to tax". Riiiiight.... As more comments are placed on the blog questioning the legality of this additional undeclared income (including links to the Reporting Benefit Fraud web site) suddenly the Paypal button disappears. Looks like she's getting some good advice from her agent at last ! Promises are made by WS to send the money back to the donators. I wonder why ...........

An Agent? Moi?

2006-05-18T17:26:00.000Z

Now that WS has finally admitted that there is (apparently) a book deal, some people have been asking if she has an agent. Surprisingly, WS admited that she engaged the services of an agent "straight after the BBConline interview" which was on 24th April but strangely, her blog entries from that point until May 18th make no mention of this. Following the BBC interview, there was an upturn in the number of visitors (and comment leavers) on her site, quite a few of whom questioned the whole integrity of the situation and whether it was indeed some prelude to being exposed as a project. The very next day she posts " I haven't got publishers etc knocking on my car door". This may be true but then again there's no mention of her newly acquired agent. Indeed, she reassures her legions of adoring fans "This is how I write to myself in private. I didn't write it for you and I didn't write it for the media, I wrote it mostly for myself, and to myself. I was sorting out my own head. Uh Oh.. could someone be telling porkies? Did her agent like her flowery Mills & Boon style and was going to get her to write something in that vein or was she thinking that there could be a book about a homeless woman and her blog that has touched so many? WS reassures her fans by stating "this is my blog where I come to write about it (my situation), and this situation is really tough for me". Uhuh .... Lots of homeless people share your predicament. Next time I see one I'll ask him/her how their book project is coming along and what their agent is doing for them.

Help? No thanks

2006-05-18T16:56:00.000Z

One of the most puzzling (?) aspects of the wanderingscribe blog has been the constant refusal to accept help. We're not talking about charitable handouts but good solid suggestions of where to get help to pull herself out of the supposed dilemma. The author was (so we are led to believe) too proud to accept charity as her high moral values wouldn't allow her to do so. However, she had no qualms about lying to members of the clergy for gain or falsely posing as a member of hospital staff in order to get reduced prices in a staff canteen. Any suggestions of how to gain employment suggested by readers of her blog were jumped upon by her loyal "fans" with reasons why she couldn't/shouldn't/wouldn't accept them. She didn't even have to anser herself. Was she holding out for a book deal? It's certainly telling that some of her readers who made such suggestions on her earlier blog entries are now beginning to realise that any old job or way out of the self imposed predicament was not the one she was holding out for. No sirree..... Perhaps she was inspired by the iraqi woman who recieved a nomination for an award and thought that this was what she deserved. Certainly, by the 24th April she already had engaged the services of an Agent. Only two days later, the BBC makes mention of the Iraqi womans nomination ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4847424.stm ). Yes sirree Bob. No menial job is good enough for our lass. She's holding out for a book AND an award !!

Respect my privacy

2006-05-18T16:15:00.000Z

Once her blog is up and running it's time for a bit of self publicity, errr, I mean introspective examining of her feelings. So off she pops to http://trace.ntu.ac.uk/ (an online writing centre) where she posts the following in the Workshop section. Hello all, I am homeless, living in my car in the woods and don't know what to do to get out of it. Am in a rut, days reduced to survival. I started a blog last month about it ... am reaching out anonymously to a new online community. Feels like family. Wondered if anyone would be interested in reading it. Awww..... Roll up roll up, come and read my blog !! Sure sounds like she has her priorities right, eh ! Job? - Nope. House? - Nope. Blog advertised at a forum specifically for writers? - Bingo !

And so it begins .....

2006-05-18T15:47:00.000Z

The initial posts in wanderingscribes blogs were concerened with the daily routine of being a homeless person. The basic necessities such as eating, sleeping, washing etc. The reason for the blog was given as wanting to make a record so that the author could try and rationalise how they were dealing with the situation and to act as a carthasis. The impression given was that it was a purely personal blog. Strange then that something so personal should be touted by the author themself on other blogging forums, asking for visitors to come and look at teh site and leave comments.. Could there be an ulterior motive?

WanderingScribe - The story of Anya Peters

WanderingScribe Abridged (Part 5)

An Olympic Hopeful

Playing Catch Up

I lived in a car you know ......

Dickie birds in the rain

Wanderingscribe Abridged (4)

Yesterday’s News

Time to Blog again

Merry Christmas Everybody

Buy My Book (Part Two)

Ego Surfing

Why no sales?

This and Stats

What's it all about, Alfie?

Thursday, May 17....it was terrifying how easy it was to fall off the radar and into that spiral downwards, how it all happened so quickly, as you'll see if you read the book....

Tuesday, May 08I came into London today to talk ... about my book.

Monday, April 30 I found myself in Waterstones looking for a book. Not mine...

Saturday, April 21The thing I've been trying to avoid thinking about is the book...

Sunday, February 11The book is entirely out of my hands now.....

Sunday, January 21I can't believe I've actually written a book.....

I'm glad that's all cleared up then.

Read it and weep.....

Blurble

Sale of the Century (2)

And the award for best blog about a blog goes to .....

How many noughts?

Lulu says No-no

Kiss me, I'm Irish (and homeless)

Another Wanderingscribe Sicko-Fant Article

Valentines Day for singles

Wanderingscribe Abridged (4)

Yesterdays Big Thing

Sale of the Century

Fact or Fiction?

Seven, the number of posts with actual news

Updates

1st Post of the New Year

It's Christmas !!

Wanderingscribe Abridged (3)

Confession Time

He's got my publicity !!

It is done

Remember

Reaching out for help ....

All my own work. Or is it …….

Art imitates Life

How many posts?

A chance to verify Anyas Tale?

Who ya gonna call? GHOST-WRITER !!

Abandoned. The true story of an author with poor writing skills.

Delete ! Delete ! Delete !

The plot thickens

Time passes .......

Yet another fake book - Is there no end to them?

More Misery Memoirs Fakes ......

Geography

Wherefore art the Con Artist now ......

Such a dilemma !!

Wikipedia

One month and counting .....

Security Alert !!

Super Hero Sidekick Wanted

Abandoned - The True story of a Little Girl who went to a Madonna concert.

I remember now ........

Step in Time

Inspiration

I shall say zis onlee wonse !

Who's got the scoop ?

Book? What book?

STOP THE PRESS !!

Abandoned ?

That darned btinternet email address

Has the drivel stopped?

More review copies printed

Wanderingscribe Abridged (2)

First Review

The Critics Speak

Wanderingscribe - First Pictures

Book Titles

Thursday, May 17
....it was terrifying how easy it was to fall off the radar and into that spiral downwards, how it all happened so quickly, as you'll see if you read the book....

Tuesday, May 08
I came into London today to talk ... about my book.

Monday, April 30
I found myself in Waterstones looking for a book. Not mine...

Saturday, April 21
The thing I've been trying to avoid thinking about is the book...

Sunday, February 11
The book is entirely out of my hands now.....

Sunday, January 21
I can't believe I've actually written a book.....